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My Diary/Blog For the Month of December 2013 |
Friday 27th December 2013 |
12:08 GMT Some people, SouthEastern Trains to be specific, thought there would be more strong winds last night, and so cancelled all trains until midday today. I'm not even sure if there was any rain last night, but there is now. The day started off almost dry - some of the dampness looked more like dew than any recent rainfall - and it was almost trying to be bright(ish). Eventually the sky got darker, and for the last hour or so it has been raining. It looks as if the rain could last for a long time, but the weather forecast contradicts that - a lot ! It says that it should be bright and sunny now, and that sunshine should last for several more hours before it clouds over again, but stays dry for the rest of the night. At least the forecast has the temperature about right - 11° C. I spent most of yesterday evening reading the 6th, and last of Spike Milligan's war memoir books. The first three books are all mud and bullets, but from then on things change as he is invalided away from the front line, and into the (army) entertainment "business". The last book is mostly about his romance with his Italian girlfriend Toni Fontana, and finishes as, after being de-mobbed from the army, he leaves Italy to travel back to the UK (without Toni, and no indication as to whether their romance ever continued). In a way it is a sad ending, and left me feeling sort of strange, and full of unanswered questions. For instance;-
By 10am I was feeling three stone lighter, and the local sewage works was declared an environmental disaster area. With some trepidation I went out to buy some stuff from Tesco. I think I was hoping to find some bargains on the shelves, but I ended up buying normal sort of stuff.. While I was out I didn't have any stomach related troubles, but I did feel sort of weak and tired - mostly when carrying my shopping back, but also to a much lesser extent when walking the 6 minute walk to the supermarket. This mild tiredness, and more specifically a minor shortage of breath after hardly walking any distance at all is a new thing for me. I am not sure if it is an effect of the by-pass operation, or an effect of one of the drugs that interfere with the workings of mh heart - all for my own good apparently. It is very strange.......a walk of a hundred yards feels like a walk of two miles, and a walk of two miles feels like a walk of two miles plus 6 inches ! It is ages (2 months ?) since I last walked as far as 3 miles, and I was no more knackered at the end of that than I was 100 yards from the start of that walk. It is no big deal in one respect, but it hardly inspires me to walk any further than the local shops. I do hope that I can be inspired to walk much further by sun and warmth once the seasons move on a bit. Either that or I am going to have to drop one or more of my drugs. They may be saving my life, but from what ? Sometimes, maybe most times, life is only worth living if it is more than just banal. If I can stay awake for long enough, and if my guts don't start feeling stupid again (stupid guts ????) I hope to be able to go out to a gig tonight. There is one on in Bromley featuring some people I know (although not that well), and I think Jo and Chris may be there too. So it is probably worth trying to get there.........but it would be a lot easier if it wasn't dark several hours before I have to go out. I am still a primitive caveman inside - once night falls it is time to retire inside my cave, and pray to the Gods and Goddesses that the sun will rise again in the morning, and that no grizzly bears or dinosaurs attack in the dark. |
Thursday 12th December 2013 |
16:48 GMT I looked out the window at 4.30am, and all the cars were encrusted in a thick layer of frost. By 9am the frost seemed to have melted, but it was still remarkably cold outside - maybe not like in Canada where I friend reported -10° C with wind chill making it feel like -19° C - but quite cold enough for me !! It's not been a very bright day, but a few flashes of sunshine have somehow managed to get the temperature up to 7° C, but when I look up into the night sky, and see how clear it is around the moon, I can't help but think it is going to get damn cold overnight ! Here's the moon over Catford just 20 minutes or so ago. My sleep pattern seems to be slowly changing. I now seem to sleep quite solidly from too late (midnight, or a bit later) until between 4 and 6am. I usually aim to take my morning medication at 6am. There is no good reason why after that I go back to bed again. In fact it is probably a silly idea if I am ever to get back to the proper pattern for work. I obviously need extra sleep because I frequently don't wake again until gone 9am. These are hours of sleep that I should be getting before midnight instead of the morning. Having woken up again at 9.25am, I couldn't face having a shower and washing my hair straight away. I'm not sure why this is. I enjoy taking a shower, and I usually feel better for having one, but somehow I seem to need to be in the right frame of mind to do it. So I watched All Creatures Great And Small on TV again, and then washed me and my hair. Once I was all clean and dry I should have done something, but I just couldn't be bothered. I was going to get some shopping today, but because I had no urgent need of anything I, once again, couldn't be bothered. This winter, like most winters, I suffer from SAD - Seasonally Affected Disorder (or Depression). For some it is a serious, perhaps dangerous condition, but I regard it as no more significant than feeling hungry, or needing to go to the toilet. It is just something that happens, and can be amusing in some respects - maybe less amusing when I have to force myself to go to work in the morning - but while I can hunker down in my warm "man cave" I am more than happy to sit here twiddling my thumbs, reading, or dozing off ! I was originally looking forward to going out for a beer about now, but I am sure Chris and the gang won't be drinking tonight because Chris, as part of Chain, will be playing in The Catford Ram tomorrow night at 6pm - when I will definitely be going out. I could have met my friend Jodie for a quick beer when she travels through Catford on her way up town for a gig, and I would have done if it was her only entertainment for the night, but under the circumstances I decided to stay in. Maybe I might treat myslef to a few glasses of scotch tonight (big ones !), or maybe I won't bother, but essentially I will be doing a lot more nothing at all. Tomorrow I will need to make a bit more effort because some shopping, although still not absolutely essential, would be getting quite desirable, and I will try and get out to get some in the morning. Then it may just be a matter of resting until it's time to wander down the road for a great night out with Chain. |
Wednesday 11th December 2013 |
18:00 GMT The main feature of the weather this morning, lunchtime, and afternoon was the mist. Somewhere above the mist there may have been a sunny day, and there were a few times when the sun did try and break through the mist, but on the whole it was a light grey day. The temperature stayed fairly low today. I didn't observe early enough to see it, but I suspect the temperature was low enough for a good frost at first light. During the day, the highest temperature I noted was 5° C. The lowest I've seen is right now, and it is barely over 3° C. It could easily go below zero tonight. I can't seem to do anything about it - once again I could not get to sleep until gone midnight. Once I did get to sleep I slept well, and slept in quite late. I woke a couple of times during the night. At about 4am I woke for a pee, and filled up the sample tube that I took along to the surgery this morning. At 6am I woke up and took my morning medication, and then, much to my surprise, I fell asleep again and didn't wake until gone 9am. It was probably close to 9.30am before I had thrown off the last veils, aches, pains, creaks, stiffness (take your pick) of sleep, and went to have a shower. Then it took another 20 minutes before I felt warmed up enough to walk to the surgery to drop my urine sample off with reception. Then I raced back to watch All Creatures Great And Small on the Drama channel on Freeview. I was unsure what I was going to do once the programme finished. Initially I lay on my bed and started reading, but after a while I got a phone call from a friend. He has been, or will be upgrading his computer, and wondered if I wanted some of the bits from his old computer. It is rare for me to turn down stuff like that, and a few hours later I was in possession of a couple of spare hard drives, a motherboard, and some memory. There is a possibility that the motherboard is faulty, but it could equally be a faulty strip of RAM. There is even a possibility that one of the hard drives has a boot sector virus ! I think I can deal with that safely using some free disk tools - specifically gParted. Several hours later we finished talking about this that and the other, and he went home again. One of the things about chatting for much of the afternoon is that I didn't get my usual afternoon snooze. In theory that should be the key to me getting to sleep earlier tonight. If I can keep up a similar sleep schedule for the next 5 days I should be a lot closer to being able to get to work on Monday without excess stress. Many other bits of me would seem ready for work - although a few bits are touch and go. My chest still makes strange internal noises when flexed in certain ways. I have noticed what looks like blood behind the main scar in a few small places. It really is looking like I almost pulled myself apart when I struggled to bring far too much heavy shopping home the Sunday before last. I've probably set back the healing by a 5 or 6 weeks, but it doesn't seem to be causing me any problem, and will eventually heal (I presume). The scar on my left leg, where the surgeons extracted a vein for the transplant, is still not fully healed, but you have to look closely to find the last couple of millimetres that are still slightly damp. My right foot is almost not sore today. Quite why it sometimes is sore is a bit of a mystery. It has nothing to do with my operation as far as I know - except it first became sore when on a forced 2 mile exercise walk - which might count as being indirectly a result of my operation. The bit of me that I have complained about far too often, and made stupid predictions about that never seem to come true, is my left hand. Over the weeks and months it has changed how it feels. Sometimes it feels better, and sometimes worse, but if I am patient enough to wait several days I can occasionally make a valid pronouncement about how it is doing. I think I can make one now. For the past few days I have had longer and longer periods when my hand doesn't significantly hurt, and when I can just about feel texture under my little and ring fingers. Perhaps more importantly than that, the strength is slowly returning to my hand. I can now grip a hair brush quite well, and even more important than that, I almost have enough strength in my hand to grip a grab pole on a bus tightly enough to keep myself from falling over when the bus lurches. That was definitely not the case a few weeks back, but even last Saturday, when I went to see Chain playing in The Chatterton Arms, I felt quite confident about my grip while on the bus. It would be premature to say that it will be as good as fully healed when I go to work on Monday, but I wouldn't go as far as to say it would be impossible. |
Saturday 7th December 2013 |
14:36 GMT It doesn't seem to be many days ago that the weather forecasters were warning of an "artic blast" heading our way, and yet it seems to be getting warmer - if a current temperaure of 10.6° C can be called warm (which it can't !!). Unfortunately it has stayed very grey today, and it feels like it won't be long before I draw the curtains. Sunset is still over an hour away as I write this. Tomorrow's forecast says it will be a degree warmer than today, and there is a fighting chance of a few minutes of sunshine in the morning, and maybe a fair bit more in the afternoon. It's called Sod's law, and it struck again last night. During the afternoon, even into late afternoon, I was feeling a bit rotten. My guts felt quite sore, and I had one or two other more minor ailments, so I rated my chances of going out to be so low that I decided to make other plans. By 8pm, when I should have been either at The Chatterton Arms, or at least on my way there, I felt pretty good. Of course by that time I was also munching my way through a rather big dinner (whose size was definitely inflated by the proportion of green stuff with it). Having that large dinner lead to a certain observation that I repeated after breakfast this morning. It seemed the opposite of what I had imagined, but some quick research on the internet revelealed my observation was correct - my blood pressure falls after eating. It's because the blood is diverted to my digestive system. The significance of this is that for the last 30 or more years I've shunned breakfast before any form of exercise. Originally that exercise was walking to work, and that started when I went on a rather spectacular diet that lost rather a lot of weight. I just couldn't walk the 2 or 3 miles from where I used to live to Forest Hill unless I had fasted overnight. Of course this was in the days before doctors and blood pressure was invented, and when I used to feel really healthy. Now that doctors have intruded into my life a lot, and made me feel ill all the time, I still try to avoid breakfast (except on days like the weekend when I may not even go out, or if I do it may well be a lot later in the day). So I arrive at the doctors after fasting for up to 12 hours (and possibly longer), and they tell me my blood pressure is way too high. Maybe, and on my next visit I'll try it, if I have a blow out breakfast before seeing my doctor he will find my blood pressure to be considerably lower than usual. Of course it will still be very high, but at least it may be low enough to stop the doctor putting on his tin helmet and bullet proof vest (on the assumption I am about to explode). While two indicators, my blood pressure and blood glucose level, may be fairly good, I don't feel all that wonderful at the moment. I feel sort of sleepy, and sort of weak, but I don't think it's going to be bad enough to stop me going out to a gig tonight. The only problem will trying to force myself out the front door when my body is saying it's time for bed. It wasn't so bad on Thursday because I went out at 5pm, and it had only been dark for an hour and a half, but tonight I'll be going out at about 7.30pm. Once I get out I know I'll be fine, and it promises to be a very good night. The venue, The Chatterton Arms is about a 35 minute bus ride (plus a 5 minute walk) away, and the buses are fairly frequent. From the stop where I'll get the bus there is only one bus route, but there are two that come back to different stops in Catford (and for a brief overlap period around midnight there is also a night bus). |
Thursday 5th December 2013 |
15:22 GMT I thought the temperature would be lower today, but I was wrong. This morning it was just 5° C, but the wind that started off as no more than a stiff breeze, but has not worked up to a strong gale, stirred the air up, and it is currently 10° C. That would be not too unpleasant, but the wind makes it feel much colder. Most of the day has been dull, but like the last couple of days, there have been a few glimpses of the sun this afternoon - but no more, the sun is just about to set ! The weather forecast is actually suggesting there could be a splash of rain soon. That would be most unwelcome - as would the temperature tomorrow. It is forecast to be no more than 4° C ! Several events have either happened, or will happen today. The first two have already happened, and the very first was my appointment with the doctor. I never really got a chance to discuss my chest, and any damage I might have done to it. Today it was all about my medications. The blood sample I gave last week showed that I was not controlling my blood sugar level that well recently - which I knew - but apparently it was still not terribly bad. The doctor didn't think it was bad enough to merit any urgent need to go back on Metformin, but at my request he gave me a prescription for it. I also had my "stocks" of blood pressure control drugs topped up, plus another blood sample request for the middle of next week (and to make another appointment a week after that). When I got home from the surgery I had some breakfast, and generally lounged around. This afternoon I even had a snooze, but that was interupted by a ring at the door bell. This heralded the second event of the day. After two years, and possibly more, I've had an official electricity meter reading. The chances are that a lot, if not all the credit I have built up with the electricity board is about to evaporate. The good thing is that I don't have to worry about using as much electricity as I need over the harsh winter because it could be years until my meter is read again, and I'll probably eventually increase my monthly standing order to build up more credit. I know this is not the recommended way to do it - with them owing me money instead of the other way round - but it is the way that suits me, and is nice and stress free. The next event will be a momentous event - probably. Tonight the Thursday Night Gang are boozing in Beckenham. I haven't gone any further than a 7 minute walk from home for a beer since before I went into hospital three months ago. So it is going to be a bit of an adventure, and good practice for getting out to gigs sometime later.(It may also be a touch of normality that might help in getting back to work.) Assuming I get to Beckenham, and get there not too early, and attempt not to drink too much too early, I could have a fourth event. Just a few minutes walk up the high street from where I should be drinking there is another pub, and in that pub there is an open mic night featuring some people I haven't seen for ages. Hopefully I'll have the energy to pop in there for a short while and say hi to a few people. It will be excellent practice for a possible gig tomorrow night, and a very probable gig on Saturday night. |