Wednesday 30th
September 2015
|
08:01 BST
Yesterday's weather was pretty much what it
said on the tin - bright and dry with long, but
not continuous periods of sunshine, and a top
temperature of about 16° C. I think the tin said
17° C, but I'll not argue over a single degree.
During the night the temperature fell to about 9°
C, but now the sun is beginning to get a decent
way above the trees, houses, and other things
obscuring the horizon, it is starting to warm up.
The forecast for today is highly specific in
saying that at around 10am the sun will get a
little hazy, but there will be clear bright
sunshine for the rest of the day. That should take
the temperature up to 17° C by the time I go home
from work, but that now coincides with the sun
getting so low in the sky that it provides no
heat, and the day starts to cool down. Tomorrow is
still forecast to be very similar to today (which
is not terribly different to the last two days).
I don't feel that bad this morning - which
is not to say I actually feel good. There could be
several reasons for this, and for some of the
reasons it is difficult to identify which was the
cause, and which was the effect. I felt quite
variable at work yesterday. Sometimes, but mostly
in the morning, I did not feel all that
comfortable. I felt better in the afternoon, and
provided I ignored a few things, I felt almost
good as I made my way home. Maybe it was the power
of positive thing or some such nonsense (although
maybe it is not always nonsense).
I made a deliberate effort to walk to the
station to see how I felt. There is nothing
particularly rare about walking to the station,
but I do feel that I ought to get the bus when I
can so I can get maximum usage out of my 60+
Oyster Card. I now tend to check that there is no
bus in sight before walking to the station.
Yesterday I didn't even check. One reason for that
was because I wondered if when I got to the
station I would feel like I had the energy and
inclination to walk another mile and a half, and
for the first time in a couple of years, go home
via Wandsworth Common station. I think I probably
could have, but I couldn't be bothered.
Maybe I couldn't be bothered because I was
brewing up another plan. As I approached Catford I
found I had a very strong urge to have a walk
around Iceland, and to buy something outrageous !
Iceland does sell perfectly healthy stuff, and
maybe has actually increased the amount of it
since I last shopped in there, but I always
associate them with junk food ready meals - which
is what I was after. In theory that does me no
good at all, but there is also a bizarre theory I
have that sometimes it is good to occasionally
shock the system (and maybe provide some trace
nutrient that is missing in a less well balanced
diet).
I ended up buying a few terrible things, and
a few less terrible things. I am not sure what
category chicken kiev goes into, but it's probably
a bit bad with all that butter in it (assuming it
is butter and not rehydrogenated gloop).
Hopefully, whyen I try them, they will be better
than the rubbish ones I bought from Aldi ! The
first of two terrible things that I bought and ate
for dinner last night were American style (?)
pulled pork and beans, which had few beans in it,
and lots of fried diced potato. The other was
sausages in cheesy beans - which had very few mini
sausages in it, and more fried diced potato than
beans !
Those two dishes probably had hundreds and
hundreds of stuff that I shouldn't eat, but they
were nice....well sort of nice.....hmm, on
reflection they weren't terribly exciting, but
they were much better than horrible. Whatever
their pros and cons, they seemed to settle well,
and may have contributed to a better nights sleep
than I have had for a couple of prior days. I
think they may have also made me feel good in a
sort of happy way - sometimes it feel good to be
naughty provided the damage is not too great.
To celebrate feeling semi OK I sat down and
went through the pictures I had taken of Chain
playing in The Slug And Lettuce last Saturday. The
vast majority were unusable, but with a lot of
work, some were just passable. While I was doing
that I noticed another photo opportunity. There
was a lovely pink sunset last night. It is
unfortunate that I don't really have any great
views to the west, but I put some shoes on and
rushed outside to take some photos anyway.
I took two quick
snaps using my Canon SX210 and my Nikon S6300
cameras to see which was best. On my work
computer the Canon picture looks more
dramatic, but I'm sure it was the Nikon
picture that looked best on my home PC.
I can't swear to it, but I think I was
fast asleep before 9pm last night. The next
thing I knew was that it had just gone
midnight, and I was convinced it was a Sunday.
It was a terrible blow to my psyche to notice
that my clock was saying it was actually
Wednesday, and I had to go to work again
today. I didn't sleep so soundly for the next
5 hours, but it was a lot better than the
morning before. In fact it was only slightly
worse than normal. By current reckoning, it
was the best night's sleep I've had for a good
couple of days.
I woke up this morning only feeling half
as terrible as I have come to expect over the
last couple of days. As well as a missing ache
or two, the usual aches seemed more muted than
usual, and it seemed less likely I would die
within the first 10 minutes of opening my
eyes. It always surprises me that I make the
transition from sleep to waking without dying
these days. It has been so many years since I
have been able to open my eyes, throw back the
duvet, and be ready to tackle the ascent of
Everest within seconds (that is using the
escalator route, obviously. They do have
escalators going up Everest, don't they ?).
Even coming to work was less a test of
endurance this morning. Am I getting better or
something, or is this just a temporary boost
from eating fat, sugar, salt, calorie laden
junk food last night ?
My main complaint, now I've been sitting
down at work for sometime, is a mild headache
located behind my forehead. It is not bad, but
is annoying. I may have to give in and take
some painkillers, and indeed they would help
with a few other mild aches and pains, but I
hope to lay off painkillers today. I seem to
have taken a couple of Ibuprofen tablets most
days for quite a long while now, and although
it is literally just two 200mg tablets a day
about 4 or 5 days in every week, I prefer not
to take any - I take quite enough drugs for my
blood pressure and stuff, thank you very much.
I have nothing planned for tonight, but
if it like last night, and there is every
reason to think it might be, then maybe the
last of the days sunshine will inspire me to
do something or another - although maybe not
laundry, I can still feel some tenderness in
my back after the last lot - although that did
involve some very heavy (when wet) items.
However, sights like this one I took on my way
home do give me an urge not to be totally lazy
when I get home. See the lovely clear sky, and
marvel at the bright colours of the train in
the bright sunshine. (I've probably said this
before, but I think South West Trains paint
scheme looks really good on these old, hand me
down, ex Southern class 456 trains).
|
Tuesday 29th September
2015
|
08:01 BST
I guess yesterday's weather was as good as
I hoped it might be. It was dry, bright and sunny,
and at something like 17° C, easily mild enough to
go home from work very comfortably in just
shirtsleeves. There may have been some cloud in
the sky during the night because it didn't seem to
cool down as quickly as I would have guess,
although it had dropped to 8° C by 5am when I got
up. The weather today may not be quite as good as
yesterday. It seems there will be more cloud
around, and the sun will often be obscured. At the
moment there is just some haze in the sky that is
making the sunshine a little diffuse, but there
should be periods of full sunshine, and eventually
the temperature will rise to about what it was
yesterday. Tomorrow may see more continuous
sunshine, but the temperature is not forecast
to be any higher than today - about 17° C again.
The following few days are still forecast to be
very similar.
This morning it was quite dark as I walked
to the station. My way was partly lit by a big
bright moon (that my mobile phone picture renders
as a bright hazy blob). Yesterday was the full
moon, but you had to look very carefully to see it
was not full this morning.
There was one very positive aspect about
work yesterday - I managed to finally put back
together the bloody unit I had taken apart to
repair ! With the benefit of hindsight, it was all
quite logical the way it went back together, and
if I can remember a few key facts, I should be
able to put one back together quite easily if
there should ever be a next time - which I hope
not ! With the great weight lifted from my
mind/heart/soul, or whatever, I was free to enjoy
going home in the sunshine.
Obviously that is a special usage of the
word enjoy, but it's close enough for now.
Yesterday I mentioned how there were some hints I
had lost some weight, and yet there were less
hints that anything was easier because of it.
Maybe walking to the station did seem a bit easier
yesterday. Walking from Waterloo to Waterloo East
station was about average, as was the walk from
the station to home. It was when I finally got
home that I quickly began to feel incredibly
exhausted. It was as if I barely had the energy to
raise my eyelids.
Not only did I lack energy, but I seemed to
develop a headache that felt a bit unusual in some
unexplainable way. That developed after I had
eaten my dinner. At the same time my guts felt
strange. I think some of the reason was an excess
of cheese. The core of my dinner was actually a
couple of bowls of steamed vegetables, and I added
the cheese to give them some flavour. I definitely
added too much cheese in the sense that it must
have doubled, or trebled the calorie count, but it
wasn't a huge amount of cheese, and shouldn't have
made me feel quite as ill as I seemed to feel.
Some of the symptoms I had could be
attributed to very high blood glucose levels. The
lack of energy was one - or would have been one if
hadn't come on so quickly. Another symptom was a
thing that I don't know what to call. It is like a
zit that has got out of control on my inner thigh.
I think it is an old cavity that started life as a
carbuncle almost 20 years ago. Sometimes it fills
with bright red blood (but no pus like the
original carbuncle), quickly becomes sore, and
then bursts in a messy sort of way. The original
carbuncle was the result of very high blood
glucose, and sometimes these rare flare ups may be
for the same reason, but maybe not always.
Anyhow, the blood filled cavity burst while
I was conveniently sitting on the toilet at work,
and all but emptied itself painlessly. After that
there was practically no leakage until I was in
bed. Unfortunately the sheet on my bed will now
need a very long soak in bio detergent, and maybe
other stain removers too. Not only was I making a
mess of my bed sheets last night, but I couldn't
stop peeing - definitely a sign of high blood
glucose levels. Sometimes it seemed that I only
slept for 45 minutes before needing to pee again.
This morning I woke up expecting to feel
dreadful, and initially I wasn't disappointed.
Quite a few bits of me were aching - mostly, if
not exclusively around my torso. Once I got moving
some of the aches and pains improved. The thing
that most surprised me is that while most of my
major organs seemed to be putrefying, my legs
seemed to be in excellent working order ! Walking
to the station seemed very unusually effortless.
It really was as if I had lost some weight - and
maybe I have. Even more unusual was the lack of
effort required to cross the link from Waterloo
East to Waterloo mainline station. It was almost
as if I just floated up the slopes. That is quite
a powerful argument against my blood glucose
running rampantly high. I do wonder if some of my
recent ailments are echoes of whatever it was that
gave me the fever of 39.1° C a couple of weeks
ago.
Now I've been sitting here at work, just
typing, I feel moderately comfortable. Various
bits of my chest, and perhaps some parts around my
gut area, still ache if I provoke them, but while
I can avoid thinking about them they seem to fade
into the background. Of course all that could
change once I stand up and move around a bit, but
for now I feel OK. I think I'll wait to see how I
feel before deciding if I am doing anything
tonight. The way I imagine it at the moment, I'll
be doing my best to have more steamed vegetables
for dinner - but with less cheese on them - and
try to avoid snacks. I feel as if I am on the cusp
of getting back into the eating habits I had that
were inspired by my angina pains prior to my quad
heart bypass operation 2 years ago. That eating
system definitely shrunk my waist, and if I had
been able to keep it up for the last two years I
would be a 7 stone weakling by now !
|
Monday 28th September
2015
|
07:53 BST
There were a few times when the sun was
hidden for a few minutes, but otherwise yesterday
was a rather splendid day. It was warm enough to
be comfortable outside in the afternoon - perhaps
16 to 18° C for a while late afternoon - but the
sun did it's best work warming up my bedroom. With
no extra sources of heat, apart from my PC, and my
own hot body, the temperature in my bedroom was at
least a summer like 25° C ! Unfortunately, those
same clear skies that allowed so much sun
through during the day, let all the heat out
during the night. I woke up to my thermometer
saying it was just 7.6° C outside, and probably
only a bit warmer in my bathroom !. There were a
few clouds drifting around as I came to work, but
all I can see from my office window is blue sky.
It was originally forecast that today might start
a bit cloudy, but it is looking like today may be
quite similar to yesterday - and that is
acceptable at nearly the end of September.
Tomorrow may be a bit cloudier, but hopefully not
too much, and the temperature will be similar to
today (and for much of the week if we can believe
longer term forecasts) - about 17° C.
Yesterday was one of those days that seemed
to feel good for no obvious reason beyond it being
very sunny. Then again, it was quite satisfying to
have got two loads of laundry done - and both of
them being harder to do than just a handful of
shirts. The first lot included a small bath towel,
or was it a large hand towel ? Whatever it was, it
was very heavy when soaked, and took a lot of
strength and energy to wring out. The second
laundry job was a double duvet cover. It was one
of the lighter ones to do (although not nearly the
lightest), but washing it in my new flexi-buckets
definitely made it easier to do, and the new
clothes horse made it fairly easy to let it start
to dry by dripping into the bath.
It felt quite an achievement to get those
two lots of laundry done, but sadly it came with a
price. It wasn't long after finishing that laundry
that I became aware that my back was really sore.
There were a few times, until I learnt to be
careful, that the pains could be really
excruciating. Just to make life more fun (?) I
also managed to aggravate some of my chest pains
too. There were certain postures that were very
difficult to sustain - either because they made
the pain worse, or because they relieved the
original pain, but became painful in themselves.
The most comfortable position was laying on my
bed, and the most uncomfortable was sitting on the
edge of my bed.
I thought that a walk would help, and to a
degree it did, although maybe not quite as
effective as a couple of painkillers (although
they were not that good !). My walk consisted of
going no further than the local shops, but that
was pretty much all I was planning to do anyway
because I couldn't think of anywhere interesting
to go to on my 60+ Oyster Card. I first visited
the original 99p on the high street, and I bought
all sorts of old crap in there. Much of that crap
was food stuffs that I really should try to avoid,
such as crisps, and stuff that I definitely should
avoid at all costs - stuff with too much sugar in
like chocolate coated biscuit bars.
I did buy some sensible stuff too - stuff
like household cleaning stuff, and even
toothpaste. After paying for my basket of stuff I
wandered a couple of hundred feet up the street to
Peacocks. I am unsure what I really wanted in
there, but I found myself looking at their
jackets. I bought a nice thick coat/jacket in
there last spring to replace an almost identical
one bought a few years earlier for use in really
cold weather. That older one suffered a
catastrophic failure when I managed to catch on of
the pockets on something. It ripped it a bit, and
that rip stuck out making it easier to catch on
other projections, and thus ripping it even more.
That's the story of my previous deep winter coat,
and it's as yet unworn replacement. The coat I saw
in Peacocks yesterday was a so called biker jacket
with a leather like look to it. It was just £35,
and thus cheap and shoddy, or maybe not, but it
looks OK, and it does up (albeit maybe a little
tightly). It should make for an intermediate
autumn coat when it starts to get chilly, but
before it gets icy cold.
After my little shopping trip I relaxed a
lot. I spent a fair time laying on my bed reading
while the sun blazed through my bedroom window. It
was potentially a bit boring if viewed from the
point of view that I should be making better use
of the sunshine, but on the other hand, reading is
a very enjoyable pursuit. The only problem is that
those nagging doubts about wasting a sunny
afternoon (despite still being in a fair amount of
pain if I adopted certain postures) left me prone
to getting the munchies. I ended up eating far too
much crap, and undoing several days worth of being
careful about what I was eating.
It also left me feeling not very tired when
I was trying to get to sleep at a sensible hour. I
ended up sleeping quite badly, and had some quite
unpleasant dreams about 1960s era gangsters. For
all that, I didn't seem to feel too bad when I got
up this morning. My back pain was no more than an
occasional mild soreness - just a sort of reminder
of what I had earlier - and even my chest aches
and pains seemed quite minimal. The oddest thing
was that I still sort of felt slightly slimmer
than I thought I ought to feel after eating all
the naughty stuff I ate yesterday. I guess the
effects of that will appear a bit later - maybe
tomorrow morning.
One reason for feeling thinner is a bit
strange. Yesterday I tried on, and wore, as I am
today, the pair of jeans I mentioned washing a
week or two ago. I was quite worried that they
would shrink, but it seems I have no worries
there. They are actually too large for me. I
assume, although for some reason I keep forgetting
to check, that they are one of my larger sized
jeans, but I do know that they are stretch jeans
with a little extra stretch around the waist. I
guess I needed then at the time, but now they seem
stupidly loose, and if my belt failed they would
be around my ankles after as little as walking 10
ft ! It is rare for me to have loose fitting
jeans, and even rarer to have them this loose, but
it is as much good as it is an annoyance ! It
might also being putting rather a strain on my
belt.
To hold them up I have to pull my belt up
really tight - right up to the last notch ! It is
almost as if I have been losing weight - which in
theory I should have for at least 2 days a week,
but this time I don't seem to be feeling any
physical benefits from it....or, on reflection,
maybe I have had a few hints. Just this morning I
bumped into my line manager outside Earlsfield
station, and we walked to work together. He has
much longer legs than me, and pushed the pace a
lot. Sometimes it felt like hard work to keep up,
and I expected to either drop out, or be shattered
when I got to work. It turns out I was neither,
and I found that a bit surprising. It is a shame
that we are now in autumn, and I am less inclined
to go on long walks now because now is the time I
probably should do just that. Perhaps if is dry I
should try and do a five mile walk this coming
weekend, but if I am lucky I will have forgotten
this idea when the weekend arrives - which from
the perspective of a Monday morning, is ages and
ages away !!
|
Sunday 27th September
2015
|
10:07 BST
Friday was often sunny, and once the day
warmed up a bit it was quite comfortable even if
it was rather tepid. I think the top temperature
may have been as low as 15° C, but I'll admit that
is more a guess than anything more concrete.
Yesterday was also quite sunny. Possibly sunnier
than Friday, and, once again, after a rather cool
start, the day ended up feeling slightly warm -
perhaps 17, or even 18° C. It still felt quite
comfortable in shirtsleeves as the day turned into
night, and quite possibly some time after that.
This morning has seen a couple of short dull
intervals, but it has been predominantly sunny,
and the forecast says it should stay this way
until sunset. The forecast reckons the temperature
will peak at 17° C during the afternoon, and after
dark some thin clouds will roll in to keep the
temperature up to 13° C by sunrise tomorrow. Those
clouds will spoil the sunshine tomorrow, but it is
supposed to stay dry with the occasional sunny
period. Then, if we can believe it, the rest of
the week will be sunny with temperature typically
peaking at 16 - 18° C.
I was not happy at work on Friday - although
I wasn't that unhappy. The thing I have repaired,
and I am rebuilding that I mentioned last
Thursday, with the myriad ways it can go back
together (only one of which is correct) was too
daunting to tackle in the mood I was in. I think
moving the Thursday night drink to Wednesday left
my poor brain confused. It thought that Thursday
was Friday, and that Friday should not have been a
work day. So I did a little bit of this, and a
little bit of that, and a whole lot of doing
nothing ! That was semi-boring, or maybe it was
annoying knowing that I really have to pull my
finger out and do the job tomorrow. Whatever it
was in whatever proportion it was, left me feeling
very glad to go home at the end of the working
day.
Although glad, I am not sure I was actually
happy, but worse still was that I didn't seem to
find any get up and go. So when it was time to get
up and go to see Chain's gig in Greenwich, I
didn't ! Instead I had an intentionally boring
night in by myself. Maybe describing it as boring
is not that accurate. Perhaps uneventful may be a
better description. It allowed me to catch up with
some reading, and maybe it was worth it for that.
For all the good and badness of it all, there is
one thing I didn't miss out on by not going to the
gig, and that was socialising.
Since suspending smoking (for an unknown
amount of time) I very rarely get a chance to
socialise at these gigs. It is generally too loud
to have any sort of conversation, and I never seem
to go outside to join the smokers any more. It is
actually quite a lonely sort of existence at some
gigs, and because there are people there who I
could talk to in theory, it is actually worse, or
more frustrating than being at home alone.
On Saturday morning I had some company.
Aleemah visited and it was the usual meet at the
station, go to the Wetherspoons pub for breakfast,
and then watch a DVD at home. This time Aleemah
brought over a DVD of a 1980s TV mini-series
called Moondial.
It was actually for children, and as such it is a
bit bland, but at least that is better than
annoying, and maybe some bits were interesting. It
is a 6 part series, and we watched the first
three. We will watch the other three next time we
meet (probably next Saturday).
After Aleemah went home I slowly, slowly got
myself ready to go out - so slow that I was late
going out. It didn't actually matter because
Chain, who I was going to see playing a late
afternoon gig, started even later ! They were
playing at The Slug And Lettuce in Beckenham, and
it was a charity gig in aid of breast cancer. They
were the support act. The Dirty Perks were the
headline act. It is possible that there was
another band on after them, but no one seemed to
know if that was the case or not.
The only trouble with The Slug And Lettuce
is that the stage area is rather dark, and unless
the band bring their own lighting it can make
photography very difficult. One of the people who
came to see the gig was a chap called John Bull.
He is a professional photographer who specialises
in taking photos at gigs, and he has a web site here.
When we can we have a chat about photography, and
I was able to show off my new camera, and lenses
to him. He wished me the best of luck taking
pictures in there. He had been to another gig in
The Slug And Lettuce a night or two previously,
and admitted he had to give up because the
lighting was so bad. Now I could, and on a few
occasions maybe I should have used flash, but that
washed out colour, and so I tried to do my best
without flash. The end result was almost a
complete disaster. Fortunately it was only mostly
a disaster !
I have only had time to have a quick look at
the pictures I took yesterday, but this one with
Jo Corteen on the left, and Chris Mayer on the
right, stuck out as being one of the better
pictures I took. It is still a rather poor, grainy
picture. Sometime today I will go through all the
pictures, but I fear I will not be able to salvage
many (almost) acceptable pictures that I will be
happy to show publicly.
One of the good things about yesterday's gig
was that it was still comparatively early when I
left to go home, and one of the excellent things
about going home was that I only had to wait 3.582
seconds for my bus home to arrive ! And that was
purely by chance. I must admit I only stayed to
see half of The Dirty Perks set (maybe less), but
what I did see was better than I thought they
would be, and maybe on another occasion I will see
more of one of their gigs.
I arrived home in time to prepare some
dinner, and to sit down to watch Dr. Who. I must
confess that I find these modern Dr Who stories
more and more difficult to follow. For me the rot
set in when Sylvester Mcoy was the Doctor. He had
the potential to be on of the better Dr Who's, but
he had to work with so many bad scripts. Some of
the scripts made it seem that Dr Who had read the
scripts, and new how the story would end, and so
it wasn't worth trying to explain how he came to
do the things he did, or how he knew the things he
did. Now many modern scripts leave me feeling
bamboozled (or something).
This morning I have not been totally idle. I
think I had a reasonable sleep last night, and I
put my rested body to the test by completing quite
a lot of laundry I had left soaking in bio
detergent to get a few stubborn stains out of a
towel and a table cloth. It also included a couple
of shorts, and a pair of lounge pants. It was
quite unpleasant getting that lot out of the
flexi-bucket of cold soapy water, and quite heavy
work going through all the rinsing and wringing
out of pleasantly warm water. It's all hanging up
to dry indoors now, but just to add some extra
strain to my body I have left a duvet cover
soaking ready to process that later on. Sometime
late this afternoon I'll rinse and wring it out as
much as possible, and then hang it over the bath
long enough for it to stop dripping, and then over
the banisters to complete drying overnight (and
through the day as well in all probability).
The sun has just gone in for a while, but if
it comes out again, as it should, I could be
tempted to go out before doing anything else. I
had considered putting some more miles on my 60+
Oyster Card, but maybe I'll just take a walk to
the high street and back. Maybe I'll visit the 99p
shop, or maybe....I don't know. I'll just take a
wander and see what grabs my attention. Meanwhile,
I mustn't lose sight of the fact that I have some
hard decisions about the heap of photos I took
yesterday, and some hard work to try and make a
few of them look acceptable.
|
Friday 25th September
2015
|
08:12 BST
I'm sure I felt a few tiny raindrops on my
way home from work yesterday, but it wasn't too
bad a day. There was a lot of sunshine, and if
wasn't actually warm, it was quite comfortable. I
think it was about 16° C when I got home from
work, and the sunshine had warmed the front of the
house (where my bedroom and living room are)
enough that I didn't need to put on any heating
until the early hours of the morning when it
seemed like my bedroom would be unpleasantly cold
this morning. It was probably a wise decision
because it was just 8° C this morning. The good
news is that the big drop in temperature was
caused by the sky being pretty clear, and although
the sun is not rising until I am almost at
Waterloo now, and it is another 20 - 30 minutes
before it is high enough to be seen above the
crowded skyline of London, it was, and still is a
sunny morning. There will be times when the clouds
blot out the sun, but today is forecast to be
possibly sunnier than yesterday, and the
temperature should hit 17° C. One year ago (http://www.sunnyside.homelinux.org/subpages/journal/2014/September_2014.html#25)
I was reporting that the weather was very similar,
but on the next day the temperature went up to 22°
C. I don't think we will be that lucky tomorrow,
but looking back yet another year (http://www.sunnyside.homelinux.org/subpages/journal/2013/September_2013.html#25)
suggests that the end of this month can sometimes
get quite warm. 2012 seemed to break this theory,
but 2011 slightly re-confirms it.
I didn't feel good at work yesterday. Some
of it was undoubtedly frustration. I was putting
an experimental/demo unit back together after
repairing it, and I could not work out how it went
back together. There are 16 combinations of how
just one motor can be fitted, and by the end of
the day I had given up on mucking about with it.
It was just another symptom of how I was
feeling...or was how I was feeling a symptom of my
frustration ? I guess the truth is that one was
aggravating the other. I felt tired and irritable
before I got frustrated, and I was also in some
mild discomfort. It sometimes seems irrational
that a selection of small aches in various places,
most of which were so weak that they would
individually be considered as ignorable, can
add together to spoil your day.
The cure for those mild aches, and for all
the frustration, was fresh air, a delicate feel of
weak sunshine, and a bit of exercise. If the sun
was stronger and warmer it may have cured me even
faster, but it all helped even if the process was
rather slow. I suppose it was because the bad
effects were all so weak that I never really
noticed they were gone until I had actually got
home, and sat down. I'm not sure if I even noticed
then - well not consciously, but something in me
noticed, and I became unusually productive, and I
also seemed to eat a lot less than usual -
although I can't really offer a valid reason why
that should be so.
When I first got in I tucked into a little
pot of three bean salad (with extra chilli and
garlic sauce !!). Having eaten that I had a sudden
urge to wash 5 short sleeved shirts. I tried
washing them in the two flexible bucket type
things I bought last week (instead of the three
medium sized washing up bowls I usually use to do
my laundry). Being able to fit all the shirts in
the bucket like thing in one go, for both the
soapy session, and the subsequent rinses, seemed
quite good, although they are deep enough that I
was worried about plunging my hands in too deep,
and flooding the rubber gloves I was wearing.
Once I had washed and rinsed those shirts,
and hung them up to dry, I had the main part of my
dinner. I did have thoughts that I might have soup
(or canned stew) for dinner, but I opted for a
rather simple cold dinner. It consisted of
tomatoes, both fresh and sun dried, a few slices
of red onion salvaged from an onion that had been
in the kitchen so long that most of it was well
past it's best, some peppers stuffed with cream
cheese, some blue cheese, and two small bags of
hula hoops. That list makes it sound like it was
quite big, but it was actually quite modest by my
usual standards. Later on I did have a small
portion of chilli flavour peanuts. It was still
quite a light evening food wise !
Once I had eaten dinner I tackled another
little job - a job that involved getting my
soldering iron out, and clearing a few square
inches of my bench. I haven't done anything in my
workshop for what might be years (but is probably
less). I decided to fix my "cat cam". It is a
motorised pan and tilt web cam that I originally
bought partly out of curiosity, and partly to see
what my cat was doing while I was out. The
instructions for it stressed that it was for
indoor use only, but for the past 2, and maybe 3
years, it has been out on the back windowsill in
all weathers (which included rains of cement dust
and other stuff from the builders next door).
After all that time it developed one serious fault
- the 5V power input connector corroded away. It
had been intermittent and dodgy for the last few
weeks, and was not helped when a bit of temporary
guttering that the builders next door had
installed poured rainwater almost directly onto
the camera ! The fix was to unsolder the input
connector, and to solder the wires from the power
adaptor directly to the main circuit board. It now
works perfectly again (if you ignore the grinding
noises from the cement filled bearings !).
Having done two useful jobs, I should have
been rewarded by a good sleep, but sadly not. It
took a long(ish) time to get to sleep, and half
way through the night my sleep became a bit lumpy.
I was awake for maybe 20 minutes sometime after
1am, and then when I did get back to sleep I
seemed to be waking up from dreams a lot.
Sometimes I can think of reasons for certain
dreams, but others seem to have no obvious
inspiration. I have no idea why I dreamed that I
was around the corner from home, outside the
school gates, and attaching wires coming from the
school to the handlebars of my bike. As soon as
the wires touched the handlebars a large current
flowed that heated the wires enough to burn off
the insulation, and set for to something inside
the school (although only in the playground, and
not the school building itself).
I have no idea what was burning in there,
but I knew that I had to escape, and so did a
friend who seemed to have appeared in the dream
from nowhere. I have no idea who that friend was,
although he may have had some semblance to how one
of my school friends might have looked perhaps 4
or 5 years after I last saw him - so about when he
was 14 or 15. I think I may have been not much
older in my dream. The dream continued with me,
and my friend going down a series of roads that
did have some semblance to roads I know, but not
in their correct geographical positions.
That dream seemed to just fade away without
reaching any conclusion. I remember trying to have
another dream that kept going wrong. The dream
concerned an old girlfriend - maybe not my first,
but the first where things were briefly a bit more
serious, and where for a while there seemed to be
some sort of future for the relationship. In the
dream I had heard that she was living in Brockley
(which is only a mile or so away as the crow
flies). I have no idea how I heard this, but I
wanted to act on it somehow, but every time I
tried to picture her and where she lived, I would
wake up feeling claustrophobic. It happened a
couple of times - I think. I guess it is a warning
to let sleeping dogs lie, but it is a complete
mystery why I should suddenly think of her again.
This morning I sort of feel good still. My
chest is as crunchy as ever, but it, plus some of
the other places that tend to ache, all seem
fairly (but not completely) quiet. I did have one
painful episode as I stepped off the train at
Earlsfield. As I stepped off I also twisted my
body. As I did so a very sharp pain shot through
my left breast, and underneath my right chest,
but, as far as I can recall, not between these two
areas. It was a very sharp pain, and for a few
seconds breathing was quite painful, but I
pretended it didn't matter that I was dying, and
carried on walking. 10 or 15 years later the pain
was just an unpleasant memory...well maybe there
was some residual ache for a little longer, but
the worst was well over.
It would be nice if I felt all energetic and
enthusiastic tonight. Chain are playing in The
Mitre in Greenwich, and it is easy to get to - and
this time, unlike last time, it should be dry. I
would like to go for an hour or so, but I wonder
if I would actually be a bit bored if I didn't
take my camera along. The layout of the pub, and
the ultra dim lighting, make photography
there almost a waste of time, and I don't think I
could be bothered to lug my big, or even
intermediate camera there. Maybe if I do go I'll
take a pocket camera along, and take a few snaps
using flash. If I don't go tonight, I have a
better opportunity tomorrow when they play an
early evening gig in The Slug And Lettuce pub in
Beckenham. That would suit me better.
|
Thursday 24th
September 2015
|
08:16 BST
There was plenty of room for improvement,
but yesterday probably wasn't such a bad day for
the first day of Autumn. There was plenty of
sunshine, but it was hard to recover from the cold
morning, and the top temperature was probably only
in the region of 14° C. I don't think I saw any
advanced warning of it, but there was evidently
some rain during the night. There were no big
puddles, but many small ones to be avoided as I
walked to the station. The forecast says that
there should be a moderately heavy shower about
now...and there is ! It didn't say that there
would be 90 minutes earlier - starting mere
minutes after I got on my train. If the forecast
continues to wrong I guess we can kiss goodbye to
the sunshine forecast to start in about 90
minutes, and continue as sunny intervals for most
of the afternoon. With the reduced amount of
daylight we now get, and with clouds blocking the
sunshine, we are at the mercy of the winds now.
The wind is from the west now, and that is a warm,
but too frequently wet direction. So the idea that
this afternoon's temperature may reach a pleasant
17° C is not that far fetched, and after the day
starting at 15° C, the wind hasn't much work to do
!
On the whole, I felt fairly OK at work
yesterday, but as usual, I started to feel a bit
weary as home time approached. The only trouble is
that I didn't get my second wind once I was out in
the fresh air, and travelling towards home. By the
time I got to the pub I was feeling really rather
knackered. It probably didn't help that I was
getting towards the end of my second pint before
anyone else turned up. When I finally left after
drinking three and a half pints, I felt really
exhausted, and not that good in other ways too.
Evidently I wasn't that bad because when I saw how
full the bus I intended to get was, I decided to
walk the three quarters of a mile home.
It felt like the end of an endurance race
when I finally dragged myself over the threshold
of home. I couldn't work out if I really felt
hungry, or if it was just the fact that I knew I
hadn't eaten anything except my two bowls of ready
made salad 10 hours earlier. Then having decided
that I definitely did want to eat, I couldn't
decide what to eat. I could have had shepherds pie
or cottage pie (both ready meals that just needed
6 or 7 minutes in the microwave). In the end I ate
both, plus some other bits and pieces. I don't
think I enjoyed either of them, and they made me
feel uncomfortable.
By 8pm I was in bed feeling a bit bloated,
and burping cheap mince tasting burps. Somehow
that was no impediment to going to sleep, and
somehow it seems like I slept a lot better last
night. I woke up still tasting cheap mince and
nasty mashed potato, and not feeling good on a
number of levels. The usual bits ached, although
maybe my chest didn't ache as much as recently,
but conversely it did seem to be in fine form when
it came to clicking and popping, and grating
internally. That wasn't my main problem, or
indeed, problems in the plural.
I didn't feel yawning tired, but I did feel
so weak that I wasn't looking forward to the
effort of towelling myself dry after showering.
And then there were my guts ! I seemed to be very
farty and "loose" this morning, and I did wonder
if it would be safe for me to travel this morning.
Fortunately it was, although I did have to visit
the toilets at both Waterloo and Clapham Junction
stations to relieve some of the trapped wind. The
only good thing about it was I got the toilet at
Clapham Junction just as the cleaner was leaving
it, and she had done a good job of making it look
unusually clean and presentable.
Now I am here at work I don't feel too bad -
or too good ! I've stuffed myself with salad, and
I am wondering if that was a mistake that I shall
suffer for later - possibly not, but.....well,
time will tell. I don't feel all that comfortable
in the gut area still, but it's not that bad. What
does concern me a bit is why I suddenly seem to be
suffering from hay fever. Maybe it has passed a
bit now, but I did seem to be blowing my nose a
lot, and even sneezing. I hope it was just
something like fungal spores getting up my nose
rather than a cold. I do have a weak allergy to
early tree pollen, and to late fungal spores.
These things have never been proved, but it does
seem that my "hay fever" starts a month or so
before everyone else suffers from it, and then
stops while everyone else suffers. Then, once
summer is passed, and hay fever sufferers breath a
sigh of relief, mine starts up again for a week or
two. Fortunately my symptoms seem very mild
compared to how I've seen some suffer.
I'm looking forward to work finishing today.
I hope I don't feel as knackered as yesterday, but
at least if I do feel that way I will be going
straight home, and can begin to relax as soon as I
get there. I must try and eat a more healthy
dinner than the gloop I had last night. I am
thinking along the lines of steamed mixed
vegetables with some cheese on top. Apart from the
fat in the cheese, which can be both good or bad
for you depending on the wind direction, it would
be a very healthy choice. Another, or additional
option would be to have some soup. I have a couple
of interesting choices for soup (although they may
be officially described as stews). I bought two
cans from Lidl when I went there on Tuesday night.
One is a sausage and sauerkraut stew , and the
other is a bean stew. Both intrigue me, and both
don't sound like the sort of thing to have on an
upset, windy stomach. Maybe I'll settle for tomato
soup if I decide to have soup.
I can't decide what this notice above the
microwave oven at work means. One interpretation
is that you shouldn't leave your food dirty. A
colleague at work suggested it was the cover that
should not be left dirty. Maybe it is the
microwave that should not be left dirty, but that
seems unlikely to me !
|
Wednesday 23rd
September 2015
|
08:17 BST
Today is the first day of autumn. As the
days have slowly become shorter since mid summers
day, the length of the day has now equalled the
length of the night. Things can only go down hill
from now onwards.....but maybe there is still a
smidgen of hope left. Yesterday started in the
foulest possible way. it was cold. It was wet. It
was very wet. It was extremely wet, and it was
cold, and it was dark ! The worst of that was over
halfway through the morning, and the afternoon was
not bad. It still wasn't exactly good, but it
wasn't bad. It was fairly bright, and it was dry,
and there were even a few sunny periods, but at
only about 14 or 15° C, it was, at best, tepid !
During the night the sky completely cleared,
and the temperature dropped to a rather cool 8° C,
but by way of compensation it has been a lovely
bright morning (even if the sun didn't rise until
I was half way to Waterloo). The forecast reckons
that we'll lose the blue sky by the afternoon, but
it will still be bright, and the temperature could
rise to 17° C today. Tomorrow could well be
similar (fingers crossed).
I took this picture while standing in my
usual position waiting for my train this morning.
It was just before 06:30, and sunrise was at 06:47
this morning. There was already a hint of a yellow
glow where the sun will eventually rise behind the
houses, and the sky was already looking blue.
I guess I was 99% over my recent illness
yesterday. I felt mostly OK at work yesterday, and
feeling rather weary about an hour before home
time has probably been a standard feature that
dates back years and years, and wasn't really
anything to do with that recent illness. Of course
I still suffered from the normal aches and pains
that seem to have become a permanent part of my
accumulating years. The main ache or pain or
discomfort (depending on what sort of mood I am
in) is still from my chest, but even that seems to
be quite mild most of the time
recently....although it has it's moments !
It turned out that it was dry, and nearly
sunny when I arrived back in Catford after work
yesterday. Not only that, but I didn't seem to
feel too knackered (just slightly knackered), and
I was feeling just about comfortable enough to
decide that if I was going to visit Lidls, then it
was a good time to do it. In one respect it wasn't
a good time because I couldn't find the seeded
cheese that I hoped to find in there, but I did
manage to find a few things to amuse me. I noticed
that they had some bottles of Cien (own brand)
"Red Sun" shower gel, and bought two bottles of
that, and I also bought two 2l bottles of their
"Freeway" diet cola.
The latter choice was probably a mistake
because it was quite heavy to carry home (Lidl is
over twice the distance from home that Tesco or
Aldi are). The former choice was a good one - I
hope. I first found, and bought a bottle of their
Red Sun shower gel at least a year ago as an
experiment. I found it had the most delightful
smell - hints of patchouli and sandalwood, plus
other hippyish type smells - a sort of poor man's
version of Angel perfume (the perfume that makes
Jo Corteen, lead singer of Chain smell so
delightful). When I finished that first bottle I
rushed back to Lidl to buy more, and couldn't find
it. I've checked everytime I've been in there, but
it was only yesterday that I eventually found some
- hence the reason why I bought two bottles. If
when I try it out again, it is as wonderful as I
recall it being, I may well make a special trip
back to Lidl to buy several more bottles before it
disappears again !
I never did find the seeded cheese that
inspired my visit in the first place, but I did
find a couple of interesting cheeses. One of the
was a sort of Brie with chillies in it. It sounded
like a great idea, but in fact it turned out to be
fairly bland - or at least it's delicate flavour
got lost when combined with some sun dried
tomatoes in the remaining two big non crusty
crusty rolls I had bought from the Turkish
supermarket the day before. those two big rolls,
plus a couple of roast chicken thighs with some
stuffed vine leaves made up my evening meal. It
felt quite filling at the time, and I would have
assumed that it would all have been quite high in
calories, but there have been a couple of times
this morning when I have felt like my stomach has
been slightly, maybe very slightly, flatter than
normal (where "flatter" is a very relative term).
Maybe mornings like this morning, where my
breakfast has been 360 calories of double salad
has had a useful effect.
It certainly got cold in the night, and last
night was the first night since last spring when I
left the heater on low all night. Maybe it was
just a little too warm for good sleep, but only
just - although it was probably rare for me to
have all four limbs under the duvet for any length
of time. Some of my sleep was good - probably the
portion where I was so tired that chest and/or leg
pains were not strong enough to wake me up. At
other times those pains were a bit intrusive until
I had spent ages experimenting with different
positions to find the most comfortable. Ideally I
should have liked to have spent at least another
hour in bed - although it is debatable as to
whether I would have been able to make good use of
it by getting extra sleep.
I don't feel too bad this morning. My
journey into work was just another chunk of time
wasted, but was otherwise not notable for anything
else. Now I'm sitting here mostly comfortable, but
I do feel a bit tired. Maybe once I actually start
doing what I am paid for, I will wake up a
bit...although that does depend on whether I can
raise the enthusiasm to try and enjoy what I am
doing. There is actually the potential for that to
be the case once I get started, but......sigh !
At least there is tonight to look forward
to. Tonight is another honorary Thursday night.
Chris is playing a gig tomorrow night (one I can't
really get to), and so tomorrow's boozing has been
brought forward to tonight. It is very handily in
The Ravensbourne Arms which is just 5 minutes walk
from Ladywell station - providing I remember to
get on the back of the train instead of the front
as I usually do at Waterloo East station. The only
downside is that I tend to get there a lot earlier
than the others, and because I try to only have
about three pints maximum, I'll be ready for my
second pint just as the rest have their first. One
more pint after that and I'll be going home just
as the session gets interesting. Oh well, it's
nice to have a bit of company, and a gossip, even
if it is only for an hour or so.
|
Tuesday 22nd September
2015
|
08:02 BST
Rain was forecast, and that was what fell
yesterday. It wasn't continuous, but there was a
lot of it from mid morning until about 4.30pm
(yes, even while I was going home from work !).
Fortunately it didn't feel like particularly
chilly rain, nor was it particularly heavy when I
was exposed to it. It had more or less stopped by
the time I got off the train in Catford, and an
hour, or perhaps 90 minutes later, the sun came
out for the first time all day. I think the late
afternoon temperature was at least 15° C, but it
could have been a couple of degrees higher. That
little bit of sunshine before sunset was not
a taste of what was to come today. In fact it was
the exact opposite ! This morning started
cold, dark and wet - very wet by the time I got to
Earlsfield. Thanks to the swamp that the local
council laughably calls a pavement, I got to work
with very wet feet ! This rain, sometimes heavy,
and sometimes lighter, is forecast to continue
until mid afternoon. It is possible that it will
finish, and there is a minute chance that the sun
may come out as I go home from work today. Just to
make life even more miserable, the temperature is
only forecast to rise from a chilly 10° C to a
cool 14° C today ! Tomorrow should be dry, and 17°
C.
Rain streaking past the light on the footbridge
across the tracks at Catford Bridge Station.
I was using my waterproof camera to take this
shot of the soggy platforms at Catford Bridge.
Unfortunately my glasses were so speckled with
rain that I couldn't see that the camera lens
was speckled with rain too.
Oh well, it's a bit of a soft, soggy picture,
but then again, that is what it is supposed to
show !
To my great surprise,
I didn't feel all that bad at work yesterday.
There were periods of time, most of them in
the second half of the day, where I felt quite
comfortable. I didn't even feel tired until
the last hour when I began to wind things
down, and relax a bit. Even my chest was only
giving a mild background ache for much of the
time. If it hadn't been such a miserable day,
weatherwise, I might have even enjoyed myself
- a tiny bit ! It was a bit of a blow to have
to walk out of work into light rain, but it
was light enough, and strangely tepid enough
to not be a great bother.
Once I was on the train at Earlsfield
the rain almost no longer bothered me. I say
almost because it was still raining when I was
waiting for my train at Waterloo East, and my
favourite waiting position is not sheltered -
nice in summer, but poor in winter ! Once I
was back in Catford I found the rain had
stopped. Earlier on I had thoughts about going
to Lidl to buy some seeded cheese, amongst
other stuff, but the earlier rain sort of put
me off that idea, plus I was starting to look
forward to putting my feet up by then. So
instead of Lidl I went into the Turkish
supermarket where I found some seeded cheese,
some Polish smoked sausages, and some very
nice looking crusty rolls.
Unfortunately the rolls were not as
crusty as they looked, but were still very
nice. The seeded cheese looked nice too, but
it was pre-sliced, and turned out to be rather
tasteless. The Polish sausages were very
tasty, and eating them all made me feel rather
over stuffed ! I was still feeling a bit full
when, after spending a couple of hours playing
with some of the 105 photos I took on Sunday
(some of which I must post here sooner or
later), I finally went to bed. It took some
time to find a comfortable position, and I
reckon it may have gone 10pm before I was fast
asleep.
On the whole, I slept quite well, but I
do recall having some quite vivid dreams -
although most of the details have faded away
now. What was probably a couple of separate
dreams had a common theme. I am unsure where
the inspiration of it came from, but these
dreams featured a very large attic space, and
two people whose identities I can't be sure
of. In the first dream one of the people set
about cleaning up this very large attic, and
putting some boarding up. In the second dream,
approached from the other end of the attic, he
had finished his work, and it was like he had
upholstered the entire interior with softboard
featuring buttons and rivets and screws. I
guess it may have actually been a third dream
when the second person took centre stage, and
said he was going to hold discos in the room.
I felt quite groggy when I woke up this
morning, but nothing much seemed to hurt - or
not much. Having said that, it does seem a
little odd that I decided I should take a
couple of Ibuprofen tablets before coming to
work. Maybe I was hoping to stop any pains
developing, or maybe I had a few twinges that
seemed to need calming. Sometimes when aches
and pains seem to be your new friends, it is
easy to confuse which ones are there, and
which ones not...or something like that. In
one respect it was a comfortable journey to
work. Walking to the station was easy and
stressless - well sort of, but I was a bit
pre-occupied with dodging raindrops, so I
wasn't paying full attention to my body on
that part of the journey.
At Earlsfield the rain was a lot
heavier, and thanks to the utterly incompetent
way the councils contractors have laid the
pavements around here, I was completely and
utterly pre-occupied with not only dodging
great big fat heavy rain drops, but also
desperately trying to see through my fogged up
glasses where all the deepest puddles were. of
course the latter was a joke - I was actually
trying to spot any part of the pavement that
had puddles less than half an inch deep. It
didn't take long before I had one shoe full of
water, and only mere minutes before the other
was full too ! Luckily I have a nice dry pair
of espadrilles here at work for such
occasions.
I guess I don't feel too bad at the
moment, and hopefully I'll not feel any worse
during the day. Maybe I might even feel
better, although the terrible greyness outside
my office window does little to exhilarate me
! (It's actually bloody depressing !!). If it
is dry when I head for home I might slightly
consider my idea of going to Lidl on the way
home (even though it is quite a bit out of my
way). If it is actually bright, and maybe even
sunny, then it is even slightly possible that
I will go to Lidl. I just hope they still have
the seeded cheese I was told about.
|
Monday 21st September
2015
|
08:29 BST
Yesterday was a lot sunnier than expected.
Sometimes the sun disappeared behind some cloud,
but contrary to the forecast, it was as good as
being sunny for the whole day. The only thing
letting it down was the temperature, particularly
in the morning. It was barely comfortable in just
shirt sleeves until the afternoon, and even then
it only became quite comfortable rather than
"warm". I'd guess the temperature ended up as high
as 18° C by late afternoon, but it was only 13 -
14° C in the morning. This morning started off
almost the same temperature, but it's looking like
today is going to be very cloudy, and I'll
probably get very wet going home in the rain this
afternoon. It's going to stay very cool. Unless
the forecast is very wrong, and I hope it is, it
will only be 15° C this afternoon, and there will
be 3, 4, and even 5 hours of rain. It's not until
Friday until we will have another decent day -
although that assumes that some sort of accurate
forecast is possible 12 hours into the future !
The only significant thing I did on Saturday
night was to eat my left over Chinese takeaway,
and go to bed. I can't recall how well I slept,
but I felt good enough to go out yesterday morning
- where good enough was actually fairly lousy, but
the bright sunshine was beckoning, and I needed
some fresh air and exercise. So I went all the way
to Amersham to have a poo, or I had a poo while I
was in Amersham, or it was a convoluted way to get
to, and have a pint of beer in a Wetherspoons pub
I didn't know existed in Cannon Street station !
I caught the 09:42 train from Catford
station to Blackfriars station. I changed train
there, and after a short wait of about 4 minutes,
I was on a train to Farringdon station. Once again
I changed trains to a London Underground train
towards Uxbridge (which I didn't want to go to on
this occasion). At Finchley Road station, the
first one out in the open air after all the
tunnels, the train pulled up at exactly the right
place to take an interesting photo.
I have to confess that in this shrunk down
version it is hard to read what is written on the
big fat cable across the middle of the picture.
I'll also confess that I know it is of no interest
to the vast majority of people, but I found it
interesting to be able to read what is normally
just a blur when the train is moving. Basically
this is a cable made in 1989 by British Insulated
Calendared Cables for LUL. It carries 22,000 volts
through a cable with a cross section of 240 Square
millimetres.
I changed trains several more times to first
pay a brief visit to Chesham station, and a
slightly longer visit to Amersham station. The
reason for the slightly longer visit was not that
I had to stop for a poo (there was plenty of time
for that), but to wait for the 12:56 Chiltern
Trains service from Amersham to London Marylebone
station. It is the fastest way to get back to
London - particularly on a Sunday when it seems
there are no fast Metropolitan Line trains, and
the trains stop at every stop.
One of the sights at Amersham was this
roller towel in the gents on the station. I
haven't seen one of these for years, and I had
assumed that they had retired to museums or
rubbish dumps. Mind you, many of the stations at
the top end of the Metropolitan Line are like
museums - unsullied by such modern conveniences as
customer information screens to tell you when the
next train is expected, and where it might go to.
I am so used to these on even the most primitive
railway stations in the South East that it was a
bit of a shock to have to rely on my mobile phone
for such information.
The train back to Marylebone was fairly
quick (30 minutes or so), and quite comfortable -
particularly after Harrow On The Hill where enough
people got off to reduce it's rush hour ambience,
and freed up a few seats. The only thing I could
fault at Marylebone was that the International
Cheese Shop was closed. I was hoping to buy some
exotic cheeses from there. The quickest was home
from Marylebone would normally be to get the
Bakerloo Line to Trafalgar Square (or Charing
Cross as the station was misnamed 10 or 20 years
ago) and walk through the subterranean passages
to Charing Cross mainline station.
Unfortunately there were no services from Charing
Cross yesterday, and so I stayed on for one more
stop to Embankment station (that used to be called
Charing Cross Underground station) where I could
change to a District Line service to Cannon
Street.
I never knew that Cannon Street station had
a Wetherspoons pub inside it, and I would never
have guessed that a pint of beer in there would be
£1 more than it would be in the Catford
branch......actually maybe I would when I come to
think about it. I had something like a 25 minute
wait for a train back to Catford Bridge, and so a
pint of expensive, but nice, beer helped pass some
of the time. I was also feeling quite thirsty
having not had a drink since leaving home about 7
hours earlier (I also had not even had any
breakfast). Eventually I arrived back in Catford
feeling really quite knackered, and also a bit
uncomfortable where bits of me ached. During my
day out all sorts of different aches and pains
went across my chest. One of the worst was when I
was getting off one train. I sort of twisted my
upper body to face the direction I would be
walking once my feet had caught up with me. That
flashed quite strong pain across part of my chest.
It was lower than usual, and could almost be
described as upper stomach, but not quite that
low.
Back in Catford my first port of call was
The Catford Constitutional Club where I was going
to meet Jodie. She was running late, and I had
almost finished drinking two half pints of beer
when she arrived. I didn't care for either beer,
and so I suggested we went to the Wetherspoons pub
instead. They had better, and cheaper beer in
there, and I had another two pints with Jodie. I
have to admit that I didn't fully enjoy those
pints either, but at least they were better. I
think the problem was with me rather than the
beer. One problem was that too much beer for
"breakfast" does not go down too well. So once I
had seen Jodie onto a bus I popped into the fried
chicken shop to buy some rather late breakfast.
When I got home I felt exhausted. I ate my
three pieces of chicken and chips, and went
straight up to my bedroom. I still felt hungry so
I ate a few Blue Ribband chocolate bars while I
caught up with the days news on the
internet. Not very long after that, and it
was still broad daylight outside so it was as
early as 7pm, I went to bed. I had half a good
nights sleep, and half a bad nights sleep. Some of
the bad sleep was because I was in pain. I seemed
to discover that a way of sleeping that was
comfortable for my chest gave me a bad pain in my
right thigh muscle. Another reason for the bad
sleep was possibly that I had enough sleep, but I
kept trying for more. That is probably well
illustrated to two events that I can only really
remember one of. I was dreaming, and in the dream
I remember, I was sitting on the settee with my
mum (who I think appeared in several of my dreams
for some unknown reason). I announced that I had
better feed the cat, and as I got up from the
settee I woke up. I am sure a similar movement
woke me up from another dream, but I can't recall
what it was.
This morning I feel good and bad. It doesn't
feel like I have much energy, and yet I don't seem
to have had any difficulty doing whatever I have
needed to do (walking etc.). I have had several
different pains in my chest. All of them would
seem to be weaker, and yet more persistent, and
also more variably placed, than those I was
suffering from before seeing my doctor. Who knows
what is going on there, although that almost 'flu
like illness I had, and still don't seem to be
completely over, must have a bearing on it.
Oh well, my main problem at the moment is
that I feel cold. I could either put the heater
on, or I could put a jumper on....decisions,
decisions !! It will be nice to get work over for
the day, but I guess that is nothing new. At least
the day started well from one perspective......
I was not desperate
to use the toilet at Waterloo, not even half
desperate, maybe not even a quarter
desperate,but I went anyway - and I was
delighted to see the newly repaired turnstiles
were out of order again, and that the toilets
were free !
|
Saturday 19th
September 2015
|
17:06 BST
The forecast said that there would be some
rain, and some of it quite heavy rain, last night,
but I don't recall any rain at all. Apart from
when it was dull, it was a sort of nice day
yesterday. It was neither cold nor warm, but
generally comfortable. During the night some heavy
cloud formed. Maybe it rained in the night, or
maybe it didn't, but it was certainly terribly
dull this morning. I had just about written the
day off when a few blue patches appeared amongst
the depressingly grey clouds. Then the sun burst
through, and there was a whole chunk of day that
was bright and sunny. There is still a lot of blue
sky to the east, but the west seems increasingly
cloudy, and the sun is having a hard time trying
to shine through it for the last few hours of
daylight. Like yesterday, it has been neither hot
or cold. By 11am it was about 15° C, and it felt
comfortable enough to go out in shirtsleeves. I
would guess that the temperature has now hit it's
peak, and it is currently 18° C - which probably
isn't bad two thirds of the way through September.
Tomorrow should see the temperature rise to about
the same level, but after a sunny morning it will
probably turn cloudy.
Nothing of note happened yesterday evening
apart from the ordering of, and delivery of some
lovely Chinese food. I made a quite generous
order, and I'll be having part 2 this evening ! It
was a nice way to end a day that didn't have a lot
going for it. It seems that whatever illness I had
at the start of last week, is going to take quite
a long time to completely clear. It makes me
wonder if it was a mild version of 'flu, but I am
not sure if mild versions actually exist. It would
be entirely possible that I was, and I still am
suffering from something completely different -
and made worse by the medication I am on.
Yesterday (and today) I was generally
comfortable, but it just feels like I have very
little energy - well it feels like it, but I may
be deluding myself because I do seem to be able to
find the energy when it's needed. It may be that
my medication, and end of season blues are acting
together to give a sort of depressed weariness
that is as bad as, or worse than the tail end of
my illness. Of course there are some physical
effects that don't help. I think the nature of my
chest pains has changed since going back on my
medication, although how lowered blood pressure
(at least that is what my medication is supposed
to achieve) can change the nature of what always
feels like a mechanical problem is anybodies
guess. My chest still makes cracking and popping
noises, but the resultant pains seem more muted -
most of the time.
It may not have been the physically
healthiest option, but having that Chinese meal
last night did cheer me up for a while, and I went
to bed feeling slightly full, and sort of
satisfied. The suprising thing is that I drank
quite a lot of squash last night, but I didn't
spend the night waking up and peeing like I did
the night before. That was sort of strange - as
was a fairly long seeming dream I had in the
night. I dreamed that I was on a special rail tour
train using heritage rolling stock, but before I
could settle down for the journey I had to find a
toilet - and not just for a pee. After passing
through a carriage or two I found the toilet.
Unlike in real life, this toilet was not at
the end of the carriage, but in the middle. The
door was parallel to the side of the carriage, and
as you went in the toilet bowl was to the left,
and there was a sink to the right. Once sitting on
the toilet, the door was on my right, and there
was a partly frosted window in the side of the
carriage to my left. The floor looked like it had
been hastily repaired with some sort of fine mesh,
and I could see the trackbed below me. It was then
that things got a bit weird ! People started to
walk through the toilet while I was trying to use
it. That was rather off putting, and it made
trying to wipe my bottom discretely a very
difficult exercise !
The dream ended, or I woke up at that point.
At first I woke up far earlier than I wanted
to,but I managed to get back to sleep again. From
then on I hit the point of diminishing returns.
Every time I managed to get back to sleep, the
amount of sleep I got was less and less. I'm not
sure what time I eventually gave up, and started
to slowly get up. I probably felt no worse than
most days, but it seemed more annoying on a day
when I didn't have to go to work, and I could have
done something - at least I thought I could or
would until I opened the curtains and saw just how
bloody gloomy it was outside.
There didn't seem to be any need to get up
at all at that point, but I slowly went through
the motions, and as I finally took a shower I
noticed that I could see blue sky from my bathroom
window. Half an hour, or maybe a full hour later,
it was actually bright and sunny. By then I had
done too good a job of convincing myself that it
was basically a rotten day, and I couldn't
motivate myself to go out exploring on buses and
trains....or something. Eventually I decided that
if I didn't go anywhere else, I could at least go
to the Pound shop to get a few things in there,
and also into Poundstretcher.
One of the things I wanted from
Poundstretcher was a couple of larger washing up
bowls that the ones I currently use for doing my
hand laundry. Bigger ones would possible make
washing duvet covers a bit easier. The only
washing up bowls they had were actually smaller
than the ones I already had, but they did have
flexible bucket like things that are probably
better than what I was originally looking for. I
also bought another clothes horse - one that will
be more stable when stood in the bath. The only
trouble is that it is bigger than I thought it
was. It fits in the bath just fine - but it is too
big to erect in the bathroom without sending stuff
in all directions as I lurch around with it
! I'll be testing it all with a pair of
jeans that are already soaking in bio detergent. I
was going to throw those jeans away because they
have some unpleasant blood stains on them left
over from when my right legs was leaking quite
badly after I came out of hospital 2 years ago. I
hope the bio detergent will get the worst of those
stains out, and I also hope that I don't shrink
the jeans too much. The last time I tried them
they didn't have a lot of width to spare !
While I was in Poundstretcher I noticed
something that will bring shivers to several
people I know.
I was still debating
going out at around 1pm, but I always seem to
think the best of the day is over by then. Not
only that, but I couldn't think of anywhere to
go. If I had felt a bit better, a bit more
energetic, and it had been earlier, I might
have made a completely pointless trip to
Amersham and back - taking in a bit of
scenery, and a few photos - and all for free
on my 60+ Oystercard, but ultimately I
couldn't be bothered. So I've mooched around
reading stuff on the internet, and another
paperback.
I think in another hour I will turn on
the TV, and heat up part two of my Chinese
takeaway. Hopefully there will be something
worth watching on one of the freeview channels
- maybe some episodes of QI, one of the
generations of Star Trek, or some similar
repeats of repeats back from the days when
there were actually some good stuff on TV.
Until then I will continue to drink ice cold
squash. This is the only way to drink squash
!!
This is actually "no added sugar" peach
flavour squash with a heavy crust of ice on
the inside of the glass (that I had to smash
through with the blunt end of a fork !).
|
Friday 18th September
2015
|
18:13 BST
There was a fair bit of sunshine yesterday,
but it often seemed a bit weak and watery. It did
manage to raise the temperature up to 18° C, or
thereabouts. So it was more than comfortable going
home from work (possibly very slightly
uncomfortable in a coat). Today started off quite
cool - a mere 9.8° C on one of my thermometers !
It's been a rather patchy day. There have been
some nice sunny spells, but more of the day
was rather dull. There was also some rain this
afternoon. It's currently 17° C, dry, and there is
some weak, watery sunshine. The forecast is
currently saying there could be some heavy rain
for a couple of hours soon, but it should stay dry
after that until tomorrow evening. Tomorrow is not
going to be all that nice. There should be a lot
of short lived sunny periods, but the dull periods
will probably be longer than the bright periods.
The highest temperature could be the same as today
- 17° C.
I didn't feel too bad at work
yesterday, but from time to time I felt
uncomfortable, or tired. Feeling tired was the
worst thing, although some quite vivid stabbing
pains in my head were of some concern. They felt
as if they were just under the skull. If they had
caused continuous pain it would have been very
unpleasant indeed. Fortunately they only lasted a
second or two, and I don't think the interval
between events were probably much less than 30
minutes, and frequently a lot more. It was
definitely a relief when the working day was over.
Going home was good, but only in so much as
I was heading home. I didn't feel I had much
energy, and yet it didn't seem to be particularly
hard to walk to the station from work. I wanted to
get a bus, but the curse of the vanishing buses is
still active. There is only a bus available when I
don't want one ! When I think about it, it didn't
seem to be difficult to go home via
Tesco....although maybe it was very slightly
fatiguing to carry a couple of semi-heavy bags of
shopping home. My main complaint would have to be
that it was getting rather warm under my coat by
the time I got home.
I am getting a little sick of salad now that
summers seems to be long past, and so I tried an
experiment for a possible substitute last night. I
bought a couple of bowls of "cook in it's own
steam" microwavable vegetables, and a bag of
grated mature cheddar while I was in Tesco. The
idea was to cook the vegetables, and then sprinkle
them with grated cheddar before giving them a
couple of extra minutes in the microwave. The
vegetables would be considered very healthy, or
would be if they weren't typically overloaded with
carrot. The cheese was not healthy, but may not
have been too terrible. At least it is
carbohydrate free (at least I think it is). The
amount of carrot spoiled it, and it could have
done with a very generous sprinkle of black or
white pepper, but two bowls of that were quite
tasty, and surprisingly filling.
During the evening I felt quite comfortable,
but I came to the conclusion that all the evidence
through the day pointed to the fact that I wasn't
really over whatever bug it was that laid me so
low at the start of the week - actually starting
on Sunday. One clue was that I was persistently
dry mouthed. I don't think that equated to feeling
thirsty, but I suppose it may have. Unless I was
talking a lot, I found just an occasional sip to
wet my mouth was all I needed at work, and on
reflection I may have actually drunk less at work
than usually. That wasn't the case in the evening.
In the evening I was having a lot of chilled
drinks, and the colder the drink, the more I
drink. When I leave a pint glass of squash in the
freezer until it has almost frozen over (or
occasionally has frozen over), I can barely stop
myself gulping it down in a few gulps. I had quite
a few pints of squash like that last night, plus a
can of chilled high strength lager. It meant that
I seemed to be peeing half the night ! Other than
that, I seemed to sleep quite well.
I had originally booked today off work with
a view to going to Canterbury to meet a friend,
but various things conspired against that. The
early morning weather did not inspire me to want
to do any travelling. I was not feeling all that
great, and finally, I got a call from my friend
Patricia quite early this morning. She is back in
the country to act as an interpreter/translator
for the Argentina, and Uruguay rugby team
organisers. She loves rugby (and football) and so
it is virtually a paid holiday for her.
Patricia used my address to get tickets to a
couple of the rugby games she will be attending,
and they were sent recorded delivery - so needed a
signature. Of course they all arrived while I was
at work, and so I have had to go to the sorting
office to pick them up. As of first thing this
morning I had not picked up the second set of
tickets, and one plan was that Patricia would
collect the card that the postman dropped here,
and take it along to the sorting office herself,
but I thought I would do a good deed and go get
them myself. Going out was a good test of how I
really felt. While indoors I didn't feel that
good, but I didn't feel too bad while I was
walking. I did feel a bit fatigued when I got
back, and my body hurts - only mildly, but it
definitely hurt ! I say body, because I can't
really define it to any particular part.
A little before 11am, Patricia turned up to
collect her tickets, and some other paper work. We
had a good natter (although I found it hard to get
a word in edgewise sometimes). As midday
approached I offered to buy her lunch (probably in
the Wetherspoons - good excuse for a quick pint
!). She had almost come directly from the airport
(but had dropped off her things, and partner at
the place they are renting for the next 6 weeks),
and wanted to get back there to have a good wash,
and get some sleep. So we will hopefully be
meeting for a lunch or dinner date at least once
before she flies away again for anther 6 months or
so.
Since Patricia left I have done very little.
I've spent most of the time reading - either my
book, or from the internet (mainly http://www.theregister.co.uk).
I guess I now feel basically OK, but I still seem
to lack any get up and go. So I guess relaxing,
and hopefully getting better, is probably what I
should be doing. What I shouldn't be doing is
putting pints of squash in the freezer again, and
I probably should not be considering ordering a
takeaway meal tonight, but I think I am doing both
!
|
Thursday 17th
September 2015
|
08:31 BST
There is no doubt in my mind that yesterday
was terrible. I'm not even sure that ducks would
disagree ! It was cold. It ranged between dull and
extremely dull. And it rained. It rained an awful
lot ! Maybe not in quantity, but certainly in
time, from dawn to dusk.......OK, that may be a
tiny exaggeration. There were times when it
stopped to get it's breath back for a few minutes.
I seem to recall there might even have been a
short sunny spell, but I can't think when that
was...or if I just dreamed it. Today has started
off rather better.
This was the view towards the east at
roughly 10 minutes before sunrise this morning.
There is some cloud visible on the horizon, but
much of the sky is blue (or as blue as blue can be
in the dim pre-dawn light). Now, almost 2 hours
later, there are quite a lot of white fluffy
clouds to be seen through my office window, but 10
minutes ago there was a huge expanse of blue to be
seen. The forecast for today says it will be
mostly sunny. It will stay dry until well after
dark, and with a maximum temperature of 18° C it
will feel almost warm - eventually - it was a
rather cool 10° C when I came into work !
I ended yesterday still not sure if I was
fully over the bug that had laid me so low on
Sunday and Monday. It felt like I had achieved a
lot, and with the washing of the last double duvet
(except for the one on my bed), I think I am
justified in thinking that I had achieved a lot,
and probably under adverse conditions. That made
me feel rather good in my own head even if the
rest of my body didn't wholly agree, but then
again, one of the triumphs was that my body didn't
seem to complain that much at all - although it
had resisted turning on the energy taps as high as
I would have liked when, for instance, trying to
wring that duvet out.
After the triumph of finally hanging that
duvet up to dry I had some dinner. It turned out
to be quite a simple, if rather unhealthy dinner.
It consisted of no more than a pile (a small one!)
of "southern flavoured" chicken bits that I had
cooked in my mini oven. They came out fairly, but
not excessively dry, and so were probably a bit
healthier than fried chicken shop chicken, and of
course there were no greasy "fries" with them. I
did have some naughty salted peanuts as a snack a
bit later in the evening, but as far as I can
recall I ate quite lightly for a day when I was at
home, alone as usual, and with almost nothing that
had to be done, or which might distract me from
wanting to eat. It was quite strange really.
It was a real struggle to go to sleep at
9pm, and in fact despite that being the ideal time
to sleep to ensure I got enough of it, I failed
completely to get to sleep until gone 10pm. I have
no idea when I fell asleep, but I think that once
I did get to sleep, I slept quite well. I think I
probably woke up for a few minutes at 3am to have
a wee, but the only thing that I really remember
is the broad details from what feels like was an
extended dream.
In this dream I was in a building that was
evidently based upon the real life Catford
Telephone Exchange, but was 3 or even 4 times
bigger. I think I worked there (I did once in real
life), but I have no idea what I did there. My
first memory is of being on the top floor where
there was a large canteen. Someone, and I have no
idea who, was upset for some reason that I had no
idea about. He was shouting, but I couldn't seem
to make out the words. The next thing he did was
to pour about a pint of petrol on the floor. When
it had made a little river, and pooled near a
group of people near the serving area, he set
light to it. I didn't feel threatened by this, but
thought I would go down stairs to avoid the rush
when the fire alarm started. I went down about 4
floors worth of rather bare, almost fireproof,
stone stairs, and then out onto the raod to see
what would happen next.
My only worry is that at some time before
all this happened I had been told that a complete
loony friend of my had called for me, and had been
left in a waiting room for me to collect him. I
wasn't worried about my friend being in a building
that was on fire, but I was worried about the
safety of some of the delicate apparatus in the
building with my loony friend wandering around in
there unescorted ! Eventually, to my relief, he
turned up outside the building. There was no sign
of any fire from outside the building, and I think
we got bored waiting for it because I seem to
recall I was heading for a bus stop to get a bus
home when I woke up.
This morning I didn't feel any worse than
virtually all mornings start these days. One
change is that for the first time since last
spring it felt bloody cold in my bathroom - and
with the window open to the 10° C air outside,
that probably should have come as no surprise ! I
did feel a slight sluggishness to my movements as
I got myself ready to come to work. It became more
apparent whenever I started to walk. It is hard to
tell at this point what proportion of the effect
is a hangover from the illness, and what
proportion is the effect of the drugs that I am
back on now (most probably the Bisoprolol). The
slight swelling of my ankles points to it being
the drugs !
Now I am at work I feel slightly rough. I
guess that more than anything I would like to lie
down, and quietly read or snooze as I recover from
the shock of coming to work. On top of that I have
a slight headache, and my neck feels a bit stiff.
My chest has clicked and popped as much as it
usually does, but after a period of it being
mostly painless, it has returned to generating
some occasional pain. On the way to work, as I was
walking along, I had some stabbing pains below my
left breast. During the next bit of walking, after
sitting on the train, those stabbing pains were
just below my right breast ! At this very
minute I seems to have only very mild pains, but
many of them. My chest, my left elbow, my right
wrist, my neck, my head, my right knee, and my
left big toe all hurt very slightly. It is also
rather cool in my office. I've put on my thin
jumper, and I am now more comfortable. I could,
and still might, put on the heater, but sooner or
later it could get quite warm from the sun on the
tin roof above the ceiling tiles.
I don't know what to do about tonight. I
guess I'll just have to wait and see how I feel on
my way home, but it is Thursday, and that means
there will be drinking going on tonight.
Unfortunately it is in Bromley, and about the
simplest way to get there is to get a bus from
Catford when I get there. The problem with that is
that even on a good day I am usually pretty fed up
with travelling by the time I get back to Catford,
and if I am feeling tired after work because I am
still struggling with the remnants of that
illness, then it tips the balance from maybe to
definitely not. There could still be a possibility
of popping in The Catford Constitutional Club for
a pint or two with Jodie, or even by myself.
|
Wednesday 16th
September 2015
|
14:36 BST
I must be very jaded because I seem to want
to say that yesterday's weather was not bad. I
suppose it depends where you stand. By comparison
with summer it was awful. By comparison with
autumn it was probably better than expected, and
by comparison with winter it was luxury ! I guess
I feel like I'm in the autumn groove now, and so a
dull miserable start, and a brighter, and warmer
than expected second half of the day was "good" !
The high of 20° C I noted yesterday did not last
long, but the rate that the day cooled off was
very slow.
It wasn't particularly cold this
morning, perhaps 10° C, but it was pretty dull,
although not actually wet as far as I can recall.
It actually brightened up for a while, and I began
to wonder if the forecast was, as I had wished,
wrong ! For a while I pontificated about whether I
should go out somewhere. Sadly it didn't last
long, and by midday, and possibly earlier, the
weather had fallen in sync with the forecast -
cold dull skies, and rain. It is currently just
14° C, and that seems to be about the best it is
going to get. The forecast for tomorrow seems to
have changed since I last checked it. Instead of
being even worse than today, it should stay dry,
and there should be quite a lot of sunshine. It
will be warmer too - an almost acceptable 18° C if
we are lucky.
I didn't do anything of note after I
reported that doing a bit of hand laundry left me
feeling rather strange. I'm not exactly how to
define it any better than "strange". It was a
mixture of fatigue with a few aches and pains, but
it was a subtle mixture. It didn't feel that bad,
and it was a sort of gentle warning that I was
pushing a bit too hard...or something like that.
To tell the truth I probably made up half of that.
24 hours later I can't really capture that feeling
in my mind. I described as strange yesterday, and
it is even stranger today !
What was even stranger is that I didn't seem
to feel tired last night. I can't remember every
hour of the day (particularly when I was reading),
but I don't seem to recall snoozing that much, but
evidently I found some way of warding off
sleepiness when I decided I really ought to turn
off the lights and get to sleep. As midnight
approached I still seemed to be tossing and
turning trying to find that ultimate comfort spot
for sleep. I must have found it a lot quicker than
it seemed at the time.
The next thing I knew was that it was about
3.30am. I had overslept my traditional "waking up
for no obvious reason" time of 3pm. This morning I
don't think I stayed awake long enough to even
have a pee - although I may have done. I might
even have dreamed the whole thing. The next
time I woke was at 5.30am. I had even overslept my
built in alarm clock that always wakes me at least
15 minutes before my actual alarm clock wakes me
at 5am (which I had turned off before going to
bed, and I had better turn it on again before I
resume writing........done !).
I woke up from a terribly important dream,
and I made a mental note that said I had to
remember it, and write it down. Of course almost
all of it has evaporated now, and the only
remaining fragment means practically nothing now.
That remaining fragment is of being on the top
portion of a bunk bed like arrangement in a
sleeper train. Hundreds of people, some of whom
had recognisable faces, had crowded onto the
train, or at least into the carriage I was in, and
they were there to vote on something. My overall
feeling was that it was getting a bit
claustrophobic. It all seemed to be a very
important part of some far bigger story, but what
that was has now floated away into the
infinisphere (which my spell checker does not
recognise as a word !).
Having made that mental note not to forget
the dream (!), I turned over, and went back to
sleep until about 7.30am. That was a great lay in
for me ! I woke up feeling just as crap as any
average day, and I concluded I was all but over my
recent illness - whatever it was - and in theory I
could have been back at work today. In my
specially biased opinion, it would have been
foolish to go back to work without making sure I
was OK, and maybe doing a test or two.
Well I have done a test, and the results
seem quite satisfactory - although maybe not
perfect. Prior to the test I made sure I was
fuelled with some premium bacon - Aldi's special
dry cured, oak smoked bacon. It is not actually
premium bacon, but it's pretty good for a
supermarket these days. I cooked it in my mini
oven so it was less greasy than if I had fried it
- at least that was the theory, but it did still
seem a little greasy.
With my breakfast inside me I made a very
bold, and what could have been a foolish move, to
set about hand washing my last unwashed double
duvet cover (apart from the smelly one currently
on my bed). It has felt like a great achievement
to have worked through a great backlog of duvet
covers, some unwashed for over a year, and it felt
like a huge achievement to do this last one. I may
not have made a great job of it, but it was an
adequate job. Of course the best bit is that while
it seemed really hard work, and I didn't have the
strength to do it as well as I should
(particularly the last wringing out of the last
rinse), it didn't seem to leave me shattered when
I was finished.
Here's that final (until the next one) double
duvet cover starting it's path to drying out by
dripping over the bath. After half an hour, and
several more attempts to wring a bit more water
from it, I hung it over the top banister rail to
dry out - where it still managed drip on the
carpet !
I think the results from that are that I am
fit to go back to work tomorrow (for certain
values of "fit" !). Going back to work tomorrow is
rather important. I previously booked Friday off
work as holiday, and I can't take leave from work
unless I am there to start with....or something
like that. If I am OK, and the weather is at least
passably well, I hope to go to Canterbury to have
a couple of beers with my old friend Ivor.
Meanwhile, there is quite a lot of today left, and
I have no idea what I am going to do to fill the
hours......No, I lie. I think I know precisely
what I am going to do. I am going to read as much
of the latest book I am reading (Artifact
by Gregory Benford) while I have the time to
do so !
Not a picture for the squeamish maybe. This is
the bruise left after I gave my blood samples
yesterday morning. I think I mentioned that I
was unlucky enough to get the blunt, rusty
needle this time, and it was not exactly a very
comfortable procedure. On a good day, with a
good nurse, and when the sun is shining, it can
be, and on a few occasions, it has been, 99.96%
painless !
(99.96% painless - blink and you'll miss it !)
|
Tuesday 15th September
2015
|
14:54 BST
The descent into Autumn and Winter seems to
be accelerating now. Yesterday wasn't that bad a
day, but it wasn't exactly summer ! Most of the
time I was feeling too rough to pay too much
attention to what was going on in the big wide
world outside, but I do remember some rain and
some sunshine. I think the morning was when it
rained most, and the afternoon was when there was
more sunshine. The temperature was probably a
rather moderate 16 to 18° C - not cold, but
not warm. It was near 10° C this morning, and that
was definitely on the cool side. It was also
rather wet as dawn broke, but the rain stopped
around than, and I don't think it has rained
since. We have had a few bright spells since then,
but it was very dull, even extremely dull, this
morning. I find it a little surprising that my
thermometer is saying 20° C right now, although
maybe it should not be a great surprise - I turned
the heater on in my bedroom 10 minutes ago, and
had to switch it off 5 minutes later. The official
forecast reckons it should only be 16 to 17° C
right now, and that is as high as it will get for
the next few days....or week.....or months....or
until next summer ! I hope the forecast for
tomorrow is wrong because it says rain, rain, more
rain, and even more rain in an unending biblical
deluge....or something.
I began to feel better yesterday - although
this is a very variable disease. Sometimes I feel
good, and sometimes I feel bad, and sometimes the
silvery September reminds me of when I was
recuperating from my heart operation two years ago
( I said that yesterday, and it is just as true
today). Of course I didn't actually feel "bad"
while I was recuperating. In fact it was an
exhilarating time in some ways as I explored the
limits of my resilience, but laying on my bed,
resting from my endeavours, with that unique
September light, sometimes bright, and sometimes
dim, coming through my bedroom window is very
evocative.
By mid afternoon, my temperature was down to
38.6° C. That's still a bit high (101.5° F in old
money), but better than 39.1° C (102.4° F) as it
was the day before. An hour or two later after
taking my temperature my appetite suddenly
returned. I had eaten very little until then, but
once my appetite returned I wolfed down two Aldi
curry ready meals - and thoroughly enjoyed them !
I could potentially have enjoyed even more food
before going to bed, but I took into account that
I might feel well enough to go and give my blood
samples this morning, and that I would have to
fast for 11 - 16 hours before doing so. So from
7.30pm I had nothing but plain water.
Well actually it wasn't just plain tap
water, it was super chilled tap water. I filled
several pint glasses with water, and kept them in
the freezer long enough for them to partly freeze.
Now the only problem with super chilled tap water
is that I like it too much. I am unsure how many
pints I drank before going to sleep, but it was
quite a few, and it was quite a few times in the
night when I had to have a pee. In fact it was
worse than that. Every time I woke up, and it was
many times for many different reasons, I had a pee
no matter how lightly it felt like I needed it.
Sometimes I felt too hot, and sometimes I felt too
cold. Sometimes my phone would bleep to say I had
received some sort of message, and sometimes I
just seemed to wake for no reason at all.
At 6.30am I decided I just could not sleep
any more. Well maybe I could have if I had been
comfortable, but bits of me ached a lot. My neck
was one bit that ached a lot because I have this
maddening problem in that my pillows are too high
when I lay on my back, and too low when I lay on
my side. At least that is how to often seems to
be. Once I was out of bed, and could have a good
stretch, many of the aches and pains faded away.
Washing my hair, and having a shower helped them
fade even further.
I was sort of feeling quite good at that
point, but my forehead would not stop sweating.
That and all the peeing in the night could be a
strong indicator of high blood glucose level, and
considering what I had been eating recently (or
the lack of it), that would indicate that my
pancreas had totally failed.....or it could also
mean that I was still fighting an infection.
Considering the fever I had suffered from, an
infection actually seemed the most likely.
However I felt good enough to go and give my
blood samples - both of which were to do with
blood glucose level measurement. Whether it was a
good idea to give blood in the state I was in is
debatable, but the deed is now done even though I
had to wait three quarters of an hour to be seen.
Once I had given my blood samples (through a blunt
rusty needle - sometimes it hurts and sometimes it
doesn't. today it did !) I went around the corner
to Aldi to buy a few things. Having fasted for
over 14 hours by the time I got home, I thought I
was at least entitled to a couple of tuna crunch
rolls. I probably wasn't entitled to a small tub
of chocolate ice cream, but I was in a
devil-may-care sort of mood, and bought one anyway
- and it was very nice !
After eating I lay down to read for a while,
and I think I had a snooze too. I can't actually
remember if I did or didn't, but it feels like it
was the sort of thing I would do, and there is
certainly some time I can't seem to account for.
When I got up again I was feeling sort of good,
and it felt like I could find the energy to do a
little housework. I came close to washing the last
remaining unwashed duvet cover. I am very glad
that I didn't attempt it now.
What I did attempt, and achieve, was to wash
just two pairs of lounge pants, and a small hand
towel. I very quickly found that I was running
very low on energy before I was even halfway
through. It took a lot of will, power to complete
that wash (by hand, of course). When I finally
finished it, and had hung it up to dry on a
clothes horse in front of the front room heater
(on low), I felt really knackered deep down to the
bone. That was a good two hours ago now, and I
still feel sort of strange.
Oh well it was a good test to see how much
better I am, and I wonder if I am any better at
all ! No, I must be better than yesterday, and
particularly compared to Sunday. At least today I
only hurt if I stress myself, and while I haven't
actually tested it, I think my temperature is back
to normal. Maybe I am not quite ready to go back
to work tomorrow, but I'll wait until tomorrow to
make a decision about that. A lot can happen over
night - particularly if I get a good therapeutic
sleep (although I can't remember the last time I
got one of those !). Oh well, I'll take it easy,
and see what happens.
|
Monday 14th September
2015
|
07:37 BST
I wasn't expecting any sunshine yesterday,
but there was some - not a lot, but some ! There
were a few flashes of sunshine around 1pm, and
some longer periods from around 6pm to sunset. I
can't seem to recall what the highest temperature
was, but it felt neither hot nor cold. Perhaps is
was in the region of 17 or 18° C. There is a good
reason why this description of the weather is
rather vague, and I'll explain it soon.
Today has started off wet, but it seems to be
brightening up a bit now. I can see some blue
between the clouds. It's just 13° C at the moment.
I could wish for more, but it's not too awful.
Apparently this is all in line with the latest
forecast for today. It predicts some sunny periods
up to midday, but it may be rather grey after
that. Rain showers are forecast for late morning
(at the same time as some of the sunny periods),
and then some further showers around 5pm. Tomorrow
is forecast to start fairly bright, but with some
showers, but by mid morning it is supposed to stay
dry with more sunny periods. Like today, the
highest temperature is forecast to be 17° C.
Yesterday was an interesting day ! I
finished my two lots of laundry, and prepared to
go to Aldi. I went a little later than intended -
about 1.30pm (I had been aiming for midday). I
felt pretty normal going there, but slightly under
par coming home. It was nothing serious. I just
felt a little tired, and was looking forward to
getting all my shopping home. One notable thing I
bought in Aldi was a pack of two buffalo meat
burgers. I had never seen them before, and I had
never tasted buffalo meat before either. The only
other thing of note when I was going to, and
coming home from Aldi, was a horrible smell at the
crossroads half way to the place.
I have no idea what this smell was, but it
was more chemical than anything like decay or
sewers. I wondered if it was something coming from
a Romanian registered van that I saw go past. I
speculated they were using some sort of home
brewed diesel or something. Whatever it was, it
was still quite a powerful smell when I was coming
back from Aldi 20 or 30 minutes later. It is
possible I was gassed !
When I got home I cooked the buffalo burgers
in my mini oven, and tried them. I have no idea
what buffalo meat is supposed to taste like, but I
am sure it is not supposed to taste like rancid
motor oil ! I ate both of them, but maybe I
shouldn't have done. Half an hour later I started
to feel really rough. From then on everything gets
a little muddled. First of all I developed a fever
- except it wasn't a fever because my temperature
was actually lower than normal. That didn't stop
me shivering, and shivering convulsively
sometimes. Somehow I managed to get to the toilet
where I threw up, but it was only a small amount,
and certainly not too burgers worth. Eventually I
stopped shivering, and it was at that point that
my temperature went up to 39.1° C !
For the rest of the
afternoon, and through the evening, I mostly
laid on my bed with the heater on. Sometimes
it was literally just on my bed, and at other
times I had the duvet wrapped tightly round me
because I felt cold. At one point, while I
wasn't shivering, or sweating, I went down to
the kitchen and brought up two pint glasses of
squash. I took a sip from one, and as I put it
back down on my computer desk my hands, and
arms, and everything, were shaking so much I
managed to knock both glasses over and flood
the desk with two pints of squash !
My original plan had been to stop eating
by 6pm, and only drink water during the
evening, and through the night so I would have
fasted for the required 11 to 16 hours before
giving a blood sample this morning. Fasting
turned out to be very easy the way I was
feeling ! I had eaten those burgers, and some
salad at about 2pm, and that was the first and
last thing I ate all day ! And I had thrown
some of it back up ! At 3 or 4am this morning
I was feeling quite wobbly. If it had been
intended it would have felt like being
pleasantly drunk, but it wasn't intended, and
it did cross my mind that my blood glucose
level could be unusually low (it probably
wasn't). So I went to the kitchen and brought
back a mini pack of mini biscuits. It was
obvious the way I was feeling that I wouldn't
be going out to give any blood samples this
morning, and so it would be no bother to break
my fast. The strange thing is that I almost
had to force myself to eat some of those
biscuits.
I don't know if eating those biscuits
did any good or not. It is possible I felt a
little less wobbly, but it was difficult to
tell. The funny thing is, that when I wasn't
shivering, or pouring with sweat (which was
more common than shivering from late evening)
I seemed to get some quite good sleep. This
morning I do feel better - but that is not
hard to achieve considering how bad I felt
from time to time yesterday. I have an almost
hangover like headache, and bits of me ache,
Some bits of my legs and arms ache, and my
chest aches too. Some of the chest ache is
just from laying on my side in bed for
extended periods of time. It does seem to
scrunch up all the internal bits of bone,
ligament and muscles. Some of the ache may be
a legacy of the extreme shivering yesterday.
Since I've been up and walked around a
bit, I am beginning to feel even better, but I
don't seem to have much energy. This reminds
me of the first few weeks after I came out of
hospital two years and two days ago. Even the
silvery September daylight reminds me of it.
There must be a word that describes this
sensation. It is a bit like deja vu where you
think you have been in the same situation
before, but in this case I really have. Well,
not exactly the same situation - I don't have
a row of staples down the middle of my chest
holding it together - but many of the thoughts
and feelings seem very similar.
I am not going into work today, but I am
not sure what I will do today. Perhaps if I am
feeling a lot better by early afternoon I
might consider starting to fast again so I can
try and give a blood sample tomorrow morning -
and then maybe go on to work....or not ! Even
if I do decide to fast again, or not, I ought
to see about eating something before then. At
the moment I don't seem to feel hungry. That
is surely an indication that I am desperately
ill !
I think the first thing I might do is to
lay on my bed and do some reading. Then if I
feel like closing my eyes and snoozing I can,
and I can also contemplate how amusing it
would be if I was suffering from Anthrax !
Whilst that is highly unlikely to the nth
degree, it is actually possible. That buffalo
meat could have been infected with Anthrax
spores, but there could be another source. I
recently bought two new leather belts, and
leather can be a source of Anthrax (but only
if it is uncured). I think if I was suffering
from Anthrax I would be feeling considerably
worse than this, but then again, there is
still plenty of time left to die before Xmas.
|
Sunday 13th September
2015
|
09:27 BST
I consider that we are still in summer, and
that yesterday was a poor imitation of a summer's
day. On the other hand, considering some of the
weather we had a couple of weeks ago, it still
ended up as a pleasant day after a dull wet start.
As darkness started to fall the cloud thickened
up, and probably covered the whole sky. That kept
a bit of warmth in, and today started off tepid. I
doubt that the temperature has risen much since
sunrise, and it is now 15° C. Sadly enough, if the
weather forecast holds even partly true, that is
about the best we can expect today. The more
obvious, or simple part of the forecast is correct
- it is rather dull this morning. I thought I saw
a solitary patch of blue in the sky about the size
of my little fingernail, but it has gone now. The
real question is when will it rain ? I'm sure an
earlier forecast said around midday, but the
current forecast, that claims not to have been
updated since the earlier one I saw, has now put
the time back to about 3pm before the first
showers fall. There will be further showers, maybe
of heavier rain, late tonight. Tomorrow is still
showing as a mixture of quite frequent showers
with the occasional ray of sunshine breaking
through. It will be as cool as today, and it very
much sounds like a coat will be needed tomorrow -
or a Sou' Wester !
I couldn't raise the enthusiasm to go out
last night. It seems I preferred to stay in, eat
even more food, and drink a couple of large
glasses of whisky. If it wasn't for a slight pang
of guilt, both for eating too much, and for
missing what was later described as a good gig, I
would have otherwise enjoyed myself last night. I
guess I must have been a bit drunk, but I didn't
seem to feel any negative effects from the booze.
I did feel one positive effect, and that was that
I think I fell asleep very soon after getting into
bed.
I slept well too, although I did seem to
have a very long rambling dream at some time in
the night. At one point in the dream it was
literally rambling. I dreamed that I was walking
barefoot through the countryside - although it
wasn't the deep countryside. I seemed to be aware
that Croydon was not far away in that dream
setting. Walking barefoot over chalky/flinty paths
didn't seem to bother me in any way. That was
probably a throwback to when I was a kid, and the
soles of my feet were like leather...at least I
think they were.
Some of this dream countryside was mildly
hilly, and some forested. Inside the forested area
were small houses. They were very small except in
height, and they were occupied by normal sized
people. I went into one to meet someone, and it
was so small we had to stand in different rooms !
That seemed to fade to me looking at a letter from
Amazon(.co.uk) who said that even though I wasn't
a member of Amazon Prime, I was still entitled to
a free gift, and they were sending me three free
books - one of which was worth £250, and like the
other two, was a completely useless book unless
you were interested in 18th century finance
statistics. (I'll admit I made that up because I
can no longer remember what the books were really
about, but I think that 18th century financial
statistics conveys a pretty good flavour of how
uninteresting the free books were going to be).
It was a bit early when I first got up
(about 5.30am if I remember correctly). I didn't
feel good and I didn't feel bad - or no more bad
than any random morning in the last year or so.
After checking my email, and reading some stuff
off the internet, I decided to go back to bed and
try to get some more sleep. I feel certain that I
didn't go to sleep, and that I was in bed for no
more than 20 minutes, but I can't account for at
least an hour of lost time. When I got up again I
felt slightly worse than I did first time, but it
was only that scrunched up post bed feeling.
Some hard work seemed to sort me out. I gave
it at least half an hour to prepare myself before
I started on the hard work, and then my hard work
commenced. I may be exaggerating by calling it
hard work, because it was mild compared to digging
a large hole in the ground, but hand washing 5
work shirts, plus some underwear was enough to get
me sweating. I sort of feel good after doing it.
Maybe it is just a sense of achievement, or maybe
it just acted as an antidote to my blood
stagnating drugs, and got the blood flowing in my
body again.
I haven't finished washing yet. I'm taking a
breather for now, but soon I'll be washing a small
bath towel, and some t-shirts. In fact they are
already soaking in some bio detergent, and a
splash of disinfectant to try to avoid the towel
getting smelly if it dries slowly - which it will
probably do on a day like today. I do have other
stuff that I could wash if I had anywhere to hang
it to dry, but I don't, and so I'll leave that to
another day (or possibly later this evening). I
hope that before Winter really sets in e can have
just one more brilliantly warm sunny day so I can
wash the final unwashed double duvet cover (except
for the one on my bed - it never ends !). Maybe
for the sake of completeness I'll wash it and dry
it indoors in front of a fan heater. It will be an
awful lot of messing around, but it should be
possible...On the other hand I could just throw it
away. It is quite old, and extremely faded (it
used to be a dark blue Paisley pattern), but it is
not torn, or worn through, or anything like that.
So it is still serviceable even if it looks pale
and knackered. It's difficult for me to throw away
stuff that is still usable, but I know others who
would have thrown it away years ago !
There are still many hours of today left,
and I only have a few ideas how I am going to fill
them. It won't be long before I need some more
laundry soap capsule things, and some more toilet
paper, and maybe some more food and drink. So I
think I'll try and get to Aldi before it rains.
Other than that, I have an empty, or almost empty
wheelie bin, and it would seem like it could be a
good idea to collect another big bin bag of stuff
to throw out from the back room. I sometimes
imagine I am getting to a point where a small
amount of effort could leave quite a large area
free of junk.
The one thing I have to do today is to be
very careful about what and when I eat. I have to
fast for 11 to 16 hours before giving some blood
samples at (I hope) about 8am tomorrow morning. So
I am planning on not eating after 7pm. That sounds
a sort of reasonable time, although I could try to
aim for 6pm. The other thing is that I want to
avoid anything with more than a hint of sugar in
it, and preferably the very least amount of any
sort of carbohydrate in it. The latter requirement
could be tricky, but I'll do my best. The quantity
and colour of my pee suggests my blood glucose
level is quite well controlled now, and has been
for as much as the last month or so. On the other
hand, the way my forehead has been getting so
sweaty so easily after the least amount of
physical effort, suggests my blood glucose level
is running out of control. I wonder which is right
?
|
Saturday 12th
September 2015
|
18:00 BST
I think that the forecast for yesterday was
about right - roughly speaking. It may not have
stayed quite as sunny as it might have been, but
it was close, and I'm not sure if it hit 21° C,
but once again it came pretty close. Perhaps the
biggest discrepancy was that the late evening rain
was a lot lighter, and maybe briefer than the
forecast seemed to suggest. Today was supposed to
be wetter and duller than yesterday, and indeed it
was - but only until about 10am, and even then it
wasn't that wet, nor was it that dull. The rest of
today has been pleasantly sunny for most of the
time, and it has probably been at least a degree
warmer than yesterday. The current weather
forecast is saying that tomorrow will either be
quite dull, or very dull. There will be a few
hours of rain around midday, and probably more
later on in the evening. It will also be quite
cool at just 15 or 16° C. I have a feeling that
things have changed a lot in the 24 - 48 hours
that have passed since that forecast was made, and
if we are very lucky it might be a much nicer
day...but time will tell.
The effect of all my blood pressure, and
stuff, drugs grew worse during the day,
yesterday, but it is a subtle effect. It's only
when I try to walk, and even then only when I try
and walk at my preferred speed, that the effect
becomes pronounced. I can only describe it as like
walking up a very gentle, almost imperceptible
hill. Putting in the extra effort to keep going at
a reasonable pace becomes like hard work. It is
most annoying ! Maybe at other times I feel better
for it, but it is such an intangible thing that it
is hard to tell if I do feel better, and when I am
sure I do it could just as well be pure
coincidence. All I know is that until I restarted
taking those drugs I was almost enjoying rushing
around, or maybe It was enjoying being able to
rush around even if doing so did involve some wear
and tear on my knackered body.
I guess it was nice getting out of work, and
heading home, and it was nice to find a little
remaining extra energy to walk to Tesco and buy
some stuff. As always, the theory was to be
careful about what I bought, and as usual I partly
failed. The worst mistake was to think that the
reduced price, Tesco Finest, king prawn spaghetti
ready meals, were actually good value when reduced
from £3.50 ( a complete rip off) to £2.75 (still a
rip off), and worse still, that they might
actually be nice in some amazing way. I'll grant
you they weren't horrible, but the completely
failed to excite me !
One of the amazing things about last night
was that even after eating far more dinner than I
intended, I managed to convince myself that not
only was I not bloated and uncomfortable, but I
actually had enough energy to go out again - and
to stay awake long enough to do it ! It helped a
lot that my intended destination was relatively
easy and fairly quick to get to - and with my 60+
Oystercard, it was free to get to as well !
The catch was that the pub I was heading
for, The Swan in West Wickham, is a pub I really
dislike. It is a sort of shrine to Crystal Palace
football club, and I detest football ! On the plus
side I was going to see a Chain gig. I arrived
there just before 9pm when they were due to start,
but only stayed for about an hour. In that time I
took a pile of photos - of which the majority were
really crap ! Maybe it was just me and that pub or
something, but the photos were plagues with motion
blur, or the focal plane was in completely the
wrong place. I guess one in ten were usable.
Here's a good example of a very soft focus and
noisy photo of Chain last night.
This picture of some of the audience came out
better. I guess that proves the camera was
working OK, and that it was just the way I tried
taking the other pictures.
I am unsure what time I left the pub,
but I think it was just before 10pm. I found I
had left just after a light shower. That made
it feel deliciously cool after the pub, which
felt warm and stuffy, and there was a
delightful freshly damp earth smell as I
walked to the station. It is downhill to the
station, and that made for a pleasant stroll.
The very best thing was that I got to the
station, purely by chance, just 2 minutes
before a train was due. About 12 or 13 minutes
later I was back in Catford, and less than 10
minutes after that (maybe just 7 or 8) I was
back home again.
I had a very good reason for being able
to completely ignore any takeaway shops on the
way home - I already had a sort of takeaway
waiting for me. While in Tesco I had bought
some of their hot mystery bird
chicken bits and pieces which had been reduced
in price - just £1 for a bag of four
unidentified bits of flesh and bones in a
mystery fatty/oily flavour. All I had to do
was to zap them in the microwave to warm them
up again. Maybe it was because I only
had just one solitary pint of Guinness while I
was out, but I found I failed to be excited by
that hot chicken. It wasn't horrible, but
maybe it was just too much guilt or something.
I went to bed soon after eating that
chicken, and to my surprise I slept very well.
Initially I woke up at 4am, and that
depressed/annoyed me for a few minutes, but
before I could get really bothered about it I
realised I was waking up again, and this time
it was a far more reasonable 7am. If I didn't
have stuff to do I would have like to have
have tried for another hour or two of sleep,
but I got up and started preparing for a visit
by my friend Aleemah. This preparation
included the rare act of doing some hoovering
!
Maybe that hoovering used up the last of
my energy for the whole day...or maybe not. It
certainly felt like hard work to walk to the
station to meet Aleemah.....although "hard
work" is not a very good description, but I am
not sure what is. What I do know is that most
of last week, and I think the week before, I
kept mentioning how easy it seemed to be to
walk to the station, and other places, despite
sometimes suffering from assorted pains. That
easiness seems to have faded away again, and
walk is more a chore than pleasure again.
By the time I got to the station I was
starting to limber up a tiny bit, and walking
down to the pub didn't seem so bad - but I was
walking at Aleemah's slower pace. Walking from
pub to home was likewise not so bad, and in
addition to doing it at a more sedate pace, I
was also lubricated with two half pints of
beer ! Things could only get worse - and they
did !
Aleemah brought along a DVD of a
biography of the early days of the recently
deceased Cilla Black called " Cilla".
Cilla Black did sing a few good songs back in
the 1960's but I hated her, and her bloody
over the top Liverpudlian accent, when she
took to doing stuff on TV. So once again it
was not a great pleasure to watch yet another
of Aleemah's DVD's (although I've seen worse),
and I guess I could grudgingly admit that
there were a few minutes that were OK !
After Aleemah went home I had a late lunch,
and set about reviewing/editing the photos I
took last night. It was quite a stressful
session trying to carefully crop and enhance
as many photos as possible, but I only ended
up with about 10 out of 60 that I would want
to show publicly. The only saving grace is
that all the good ones were far better than
many mobile phone pictures are - although I
have seen some remarkably good gig pictures
taken on mobile phone - but only very well lit
gigs.
Since then I have done hardly anything
at all. I have tried to have a snooze, but
that didn't work. I could go out again this
evening. Chain are playing The Chatterton
Arms. It is a nicer pub, and just as easy to
get to as The Swan in West Wickham (although
it does take twice as long), but I am having
trouble raising the enthusiasm to go, and I
feel I have eaten rather too much this
afternoon to be comfortable going out -
particularly when The Chatterton Arms has such
awful toilets - they were good for two weeks
after the pub changed hands a year or two ago,
but now they have no locks on the cubicle
doors. The light had failed in one of them the
last time (or time before ?) I was there, and
it was only the one that was pitch dark inside
that had toilet paper, an intact toilet seat,
and no vomit on the floor. The place doesn't
really go out of it's way to attract me - only
flies !!
|
Friday 11th September
2015
|
08:08 BST
It may not have been hot, but yesterday was
still rather glorious. It was definitely warm
feeling after a cool start to the day. The sun
shone practically all day, and the sky was blue.
It's a shame it didn't get a little warmer. The
temperature may have touched 20° C, but it was
probably only a little over 18° C for much of the
time. Even so, that was warm enough to generate a
bit of sweat while fast walking in the afternoon
sunshine.Today has picked up where yesterday left
off (except for the temperature dropping back to
10° C during the night). It is a beautifully sunny
morning, and it should continue like this until at
least sunset. The temperature could hit 21° C by
then, but then it will get very cloudy, and by
midnight it could be raining. Tomorrow may be a
bit dull, a bit cooler, and a bit wetter, but it
is not supposed to be all that terrible !
This is how the sky looked as I came home from
the pub at just gone 7.30pm. The sun has almost
set, but the sky is still blue, and although
it's not really visible in this photo, there was
a hint of pink sky above the houses in the
distance (which is to the west where the sun is
setting).
I tried to capture
how brilliant and cheery the sun was this
morning while I was on the train. I was
sitting on the wrong side of the train for
that while travelling from Catford to Waterloo
- which is a pity because that has better
views towards the east. I was on the right
side (which was the left side !!) of the train
from Waterloo to Earlsfield, and I tried to
capture something through the less than clear
windows very soon after we left Waterloo.
This picture gave hints of a warm yellow
glow beyond the buildings, but is basically
useless.
This picture is boring and bland, but does
show the sunshine streaming in through the
train windows !
Yesterday was a
very satisfying day in many ways. I got to
see the doctor, and I got my Electro
Cardiogram done. I still have to get my
blood samples taken and analysed, but I
have a cunning plan for that. I will visit
the phlebotomy clinic as early as possible
on Monday morning, and then I will just
come into work late (probably about 90
minutes late if I am lucky with the
trains), and make up the time as and when
:-) After all the medical stuff, which is
both stressful and enjoyable in a peculiar
way (maybe it is only enjoyable to get it
over and done with), I had a few hours to
kill before going out again for a few
beers.
Last night the Thursday night
boozing club met in The Fox And Firkin
pub. It is only a shadow of it's former
self when it used to brew good beer
actually on the premises, but it wasn't
bad when we were in there. I stayed for
just three pints. I would have liked more,
but that is all I would allow myself. I
doubt if three pints is particularly
unhealthy, but the almost mile walk there
and back was particularly good for me - I
think. I did quite a lot of walking
yesterday. I walked to the doctor and
back, but that is only a 5 minute walk. I
walked to the hospital and back, and if
you include going through the corridors in
the hospital, and walking up the stairs in
there, it probably adds up to at least
three quarters of a mile there and back.
I can't say that all that walking
was particularly easy, but it wasn't bad.
It would have been easier if I hadn't
tried to walk as fast as I could - which
wasn't as fast as I wanted, but it never
is. It is probably a good thing that I
don't drive a car because no speed is fast
enough ! On the whole I felt pretty good
yesterday. I had a few twinges from my
chest, but I think most can be accounted
by not being too careful how I moved my
body. I find the idea that I should take
care to only move in carefully considered
gentle ways, and to walk like a shuffling
old man, to be particularly appalling, but
I guess I can see it coming one day.
I noticed this collection of severed
hands in the park on the way to the pub
yesterday.
After I left
the pub I couldn't resist the lure of
the fried chicken shop on the way
home. I can blame it partly on the
booze. Partly on the fact that I
didn't really have much in the fridge
to make dinner from, and partly
because I am weak willed, and couldn't
resist the smells coming from the
place. I did manage to curb my
enthusiasm a bit, and didn't order
much, but my timing was all wrong. I
ordered a small portion of fries, but
because he was just coming to the end
of a batch of freshly fried fries, he
just tipped the whole lot into my bag
! In some circumstances that might
have been nice, but not with American
style "French fries". They are pretty
nasty in large quantities - unlike big
chunky, greasy, proper fish and chip
shop chips !
I filled my face with chicken
and chips fries, and
by 9pm I was in bed (at least I think
it was about then). It may not have
seemed it at the time, but I think I
fell asleep quite quickly, and I
seemed to sleep quite well last night.
This morning I don't feel too bad. I
have the usual mild aches and pains -
and that includes a low level dull
ache from my chest. I have also had a
few sharp pains from my chest when
doing certain things. Brushing my hair
behind my head with my left hand, but
not my right, seems a good way of
getting a momentary sharp and hot pain
flash across my left breast.
The worst thing about this
morning is that I think the curse of
my blood pressure drugs is already
kicking in now I am taking them again.
This morning was my second dose of
Amlodopine, Losartan K, Bisoprolol,
and Avorstatin (some or none of which
may be spelled correctly). It
definitely felt like a lot harder work
to walk from the station to work this
morning ! I am not happy with that. It
is an effect I told my doctor I would
want to discuss the next time I see
her.
Tonight I have two important
tasks. The first is to go home via
Tesco, and do some shopping. The
second task is to try and eat as
little of it as possible ! I really
must try to avoid anything with high
levels of sugar in it. I have been
mostly careful for the last few weeks,
although I have had a few slippages,
but if I can be careful enough over
the weekend, I may be able to get a
good result when my Monday morning
blood sample is tested. The test for
blood glucose is sort of magic in that
it can look back in time to provide a
sort of average over about 28 days.
I'm not sure about the cholesterol
test. That could be a bit high, but
that one is of less interest to me at
the moment. I once blamed the statins
for making me feel bad, but I have
proved to my own satisfaction that it
is not them. I'm not sure it is the
other drugs either. It may be the apex
of insanity, but I wonder if after 60
years of obesity, I am actually
supposed to have high blood pressure,
and can only function correctly when
it is a lot higher than the doctors
think it ought to be - based on the
average of a load of skinny, half
starved waifs !
|
Thursday 10th
September 2015
|
14:19 BST
Yesterday was almost a nice day. It was a
bit variable through the morning, but it settled
down to be nice and sunny by later afternoon. It
may have only reached 18° C, but walking in the
sunshine felt far warmer - particular;y when
walking quite fast ! During the night it cooled
down, but only to 10° C, but it didn't take long
to warm up under almost continuous sunshine. Maybe
it feels warmer than it actually is because my
thermometer says it is still a smidgen under 19°
C. There could still be potential for it to touch
20° C before the sun gets too low in the sky.
Tomorrow could see a few more clouds in the sky,
but the forecasters reckon it could be a degree
warmer. It will cool after after that, and it
might rain on Monday.
I don't think they sky was exactly the same
shade as my mobile phone camera thinks it is,
but it was certainly nice and blue while walking
through the park at about 11am. It was warm too.
Work unusually provided enough
distractions, and some triumphs to distract me
from feeling bad except on a few occasions. By the
end of work I wasn't feeling tired, although I
didn't seem to have quite the energy I had the day
before when going home. I'm not sure how far it is
from Catford Bridge railway station to Catford
sorting office. It is less than a mile, but
probably not that much less. It certainly got me
breathing hard, and maybe I wish I had not tackled
it at about as fast as I can currently walk (for
sustained periods), it didn't seem to onerous to
walk there and pick up Patricia's tickets. They
seemed to accept one of her bank statements to
identify me as a bone fide representative, and
accepted my 60+ Oyster (photo)card as proof that I
was who I said I was. With the tickets in my
sweaty hand, I caught a bus back to the end of my
road. I would have got the bus there, but missed
it by about 15 seconds - hence the reason why I
walked.
Going home via the sorting office only
delayed my arrival home by about 20 minutes, I
found that rather surprising, but I guess that was
aided by only having to wait about 15 seconds for
a bus to take me home. I have a suspicion that it
actually took longer to get the bus to the end of
my road, and then to walk home than it did to walk
from the station to the sorting office. That seems
all wrong, but I can't argue with the clock !
In theory I would have eaten very lightly
last night so that I would have felt better when I
saw the doctor at 9am this morning. At least my
blood glucose level would have been lower if I
didn't eat what I did eat ! My main dinner was all
the curry from two different Aldi ready meal
curries, and about half the rice from each. As
such, that wasn't too bad, but maybe the stress
gave me a fierce case of the munchies. So I ate
quite a few assorted nuts, as well as a couple of
mint Club Biscuits (the type that are coated in
chocolate). I think I over did it a bit !
I might have eaten more than was good for
me, but it didn't affect my sleep. I went to bed a
bit later than I should have, but otherwise early
considering I didn't have to leave to go to the
doctors until two and a half hours after I
normally leave to get the train to work. I should
have been able to have a lie in, but I seemed to
get up a little before 5am - as I do on any
working day. I did try to go back to sleep, but I
guess I must have slept quite well, and just
didn't seem to need any more sleep.
I feel that by rights I should have at
least been in some sort of pain or discomfort when
I saw the doctor this morning. It would have made
the whole thing more convincing (to me on a
subconcious level, or some such nonsense). I did
have a few minor twinges from time to time, but
mostly I felt quite good. However, with no
internal references to refer to except memory, I
described my symptoms to the doctor. She agreed
that my diagnosis of Costochondritus was probably
not that far wrong, but she (for it was a she)
preferred to say it was a muscular problem.
I mentioned to her one of the biggest
problems was that I worried that the muscular
pains my chest could be masking other pains, such
as heart pains. Having ascertained that I was
familiar with one type of heart trouble pain -
angina - she said that if it was something like a
heart attack happening it would be a very
concentrated pain that was quite distinct to the
pains I described. To be on the safe side she gave
me a letter to get an Electro Cardiogram made in
Lewisham hospital to check for any heart problems.
She also gave me a ticket for some blood tests,
and gave me a prescription for all the drugs I had
run out of (over 6 weeks ago !).
After seeing the doctor my first port of
call was the blood testing suite on the floor
above the GPs surgeries. What the doctor had
failed to tell me, although had written it out in
black and white on the request form, was that I
was supposed to fast for 11 - 16 hours before
giving one of the blood samples. I am boozing
tonight so I can't fast tonight, and my boss would
be quite pissed off if I demanded to take tomorrow
off work at such short notice. However I did email
him to say that that I would need to go to give
those blood samples on Monday morning, and that I
will need at least a few hours off work. I have a
cunning plan about that - this could work out
quite good if I time it right !
I couldn't give blood, but I could go along
to the hospital where they have a walk in service
for Electro Cardio Grams. It was very pleasant to
walk through the park to the back entrance to the
hospital, and even after that walk to still have
enough energy to ignore the lift, and walk up the
stairs. Unfortunately that did leave me rather
sweaty for quite some time. I wasn't fully dry
after a long and boring wait to be seen, but at
least I had stopped dripping. I guess it was only
a 20 minute wait, but it felt longer because it
was bloody boring - why didn't I remember to take
a book or something ?
There was a nice young oriental lady
operating the ECG machine. The first time I was
wired to one was some years back, and it was a
little more primitive than the one today. I gave
some pretty erratic results because I was both
very apprehensive after my doctor prescribed a
battery of tests for me after not seeing him for
something like 20 years, and I was also fascinated
with what was going on. This time, particularly
after spending days permanently wired to a
slightly simpler machine they use on the wards, I
was far more relaxed about it. The operators don't
do any diagnosis on the spot, to my surprise that
seems to be my GPs job, but they can usually spot
any major abnormality. My results drew no comment
at all. Maybe she didn't want to speak out of
turn, or speculate, or maybe my results were
superficially good. A more detailed analysis may
reveal something more minor, but that can be dealt
with at a more leisurely pace (assuming I have the
slightest clue as to what I am talking about).
The truth to these questions or answers,
plus the results of the blood samples I should be
giving on Monday morning, should all be answered
when I manage to get another appointment with the
doctor sometime in the week after next - probably.
In the meantime I can sit back and relax - for a
while ! I had hoped there would be more time to do
something more exciting today, but after getting
back home from the hospital I have achieved very
little apart from eating stuff I shouldn't and
doing a bit of reading. In about another hour and
a half I will be going out again to walk through
the park once again, and continue on the The Fox
And Firkin where boozing will be taking place at
5pm. If I didn't have work in the morning, and if
I wasn't trying to limit my beer intake,
particularly with the blood tests looming, but
also for more general reasons, I could have been
tempted to get drunk tonight !
|
Wednesday 9th September
2015
|
08:04
BST
It seems amazing to me that weather
forecasts are given for 5, or in some cases even
more days ahead, and yet the forecast for the next
day can change radically up to zero hours before
it actually happens. Today was forecast to be
quite similar to yesterday - plenty of sunny
periods, a top temperature of 18° C, and with very
little wind, feeling almost warm in the afternoon.
24 hours later and the forecast for today says it
is going to be various shades of cloudy all day -
although it could still end up at 18° C by 4 -
5pm. I can't be 100% sure, but I think the
forecast has changed again ! At 11am there could
be the odd ray of sunshine peeping around the
clouds, but seems to be the most optimistic those
forecasters can be. Tomorrow is still forecast to
be bright and sunny, and with the later afternoon
temperature supposedly hitting 20° C, it will be
feeling warm.
It is really amazing what the power of mind
over matter can achieve.....or maybe it was pure
coincidence ! I started yesterday feeling pretty
rough. My chest was sore, and I felt terribly
tired after a terrible night's sleep. That at
about 9.30pm I phoned the doctors to make an
appointment, and as soon as that was done I felt a
lot, lot better, and I have done since ! Even the
tiredness that had a real cause - a couple of
hours of lost sleep - seemed to recede into the
background. I ended up feeling fairly OK at work.
Maybe more surprising is that I seemed to have an
excess of energy when I was going home. I didn't
want to push it too far because getting too short
of breath would probably have hurt my chest with
all the deep breathing involved, but I did partly
run up the stairs from the subway to the platform
at Waterloo East.
To my surprise it seemed a lot less hard
than I thought, and I didn't feel knackered at the
top, and nor was I short of breath to the extent
that I imagined I would be. I had to breath a lot
more intensely than usual for a few moments, but
it wasn't bad enough that I couldn't have carried
out a normal conversation - which, curiously
enough, was one of the criteria set by the Cardiac
Rehabilitation Centre's indicators of exercise
being taken at an appropriate level. Way back, 18
months or so ago, when I went to my one cardiac
rehabilitation session, I found their exercise
regime boring, but quite easy. Since then there
would have been times when it would have been
difficult, but just for an hour or so yesterday,
it might have been more than easy. No only was I
almost running up the stairs at Waterloo East, but
I walked from the station to home at about the
pace I always used to be able to do, and arrived
home almost feeling still fresh, and while I was
breathing a little more deeply than usual, I was a
long way from out of breath.
Unfortunately that deep breathing did make
my chest ache a bit. I was reminded of a period of
time many, many years ago, half a century ago
maybe, when I could run around like a loony until
my chest was heaving, and ached for minutes after,
and think nothing of it apart from to be rested
enough to do it all over again. Of course, unlike
the other kids who were slim, I could only run a
quarter of the distance they could, but it didn't
seem to matter much then - although it did make me
realise that I could never take up committing
crimes for a living, as I wanted to, because I
couldn't run away from the rozzers fast enough !
I planned to have a simple dinner last
night, and amazingly enough, I actually did it !
Well, maybe it wasn't that simple, but I did
manage to avoid any extra snacks and stuff. I had
a two part dinner. Part one was an Aldi chicken
and mango salad. The mango is in the form of a
little tub of mango chutney that is almost pure
sugar. So I threw that away and just had a chicken
salad - with an unadvised amount of chilli
flavoured mayonnaise on it instead. At least the
mayonnaise is not packed with sugar - at least I
hope it's not. Part two of my dinner was roasted
beef meatballs with half a roasted onion, and a
generous splash of smoky chipotle chilli sauce.
As soon as I had finished my dinner I went
up to my bedroom and PC because the TV news was
boring me. I checked a few things on the internet,
and it wasn't long before I decided I would lay on
my bed and read for a while. It was almost
instantly after that, that I decided I might as
well get ready for bed before starting to read. I
read a few pages of a magazine, and then I turned
out the light. I was asleep before 7.30pm, and I
slept remarkably well. I guess I was just too
tired to do anything else. I know I woke up twice
in the night, but both times were so brief that it
barely registered. I finally woke up up at about
4.45am. I then jumped out of bed, turned the
heater on, and jumped back into bed again, but I
was up again before my alarm went off at 5am.
This morning I feel both good and bad -
well, no change there except maybe there is more a
bias towards the good than the bad. All that
sleeping left me with a few back ache like
twinges, but mostly they are, or were of no
consequences. My chest seems to be consistently
very mildly sore. It feels more like an old injury
just gently reminding me it's still there. It is
so mild that almost anything can distract me from
it - apart from writing about it of course ! I
would have thought that all the sleep I got last
night should mean that I don't need more, and yet
while I am not yawning away like I was yesterday
morning, the idea of laying down and closing my
eyes is very appealing right now.
I have something unusual to look forward to
after work today. When I get back to Catford I
will be going to the Catford sorting office to try
and pick up a registered (or tracked) letter
containing tickets to a rugby match (or two, or
three) for my friend Patricia. She is currently
out of the country, but will be here for about a
fortnight in about 10 days times. The big problem
will be bluffing the man at the sorting office
that I truly represent Patricia. The "Sorry we
couldn't deliver it" card said I need to take some
ID from her along to the sorting office. All I
have is a recent bank statement for her, and I
hope that is sufficient.
Tomorrow, at 9am, I will be seeing a doctor
to tell her (I think it is a her, but I am not
entirely sure) all about the clicks and pops, and
creaks, and groans that come from within my chest
when I perform certain actions, including
breathing on some occasions, and how it can became
sore sometimes. I've got a sinking feeling that I
won't be able to produce a click or a pop on
demand. I guess it is something I could rehearse,
but even when it is non painful, as it is the
majority of the time, it still feels sort of
unpleasant, and so I prefer not to do it on
purpose. It happens naturally enough on it's own,
but I bet it doesn't happen while the doctor is
listening with a stethoscope. It will come as no
surprise if I am ordered to have loads of tests
and checks before a full diagnosis is made, but
hopefully the doctor will be able to offer some
sort of opinion before I am prodded and poked,
bled dry, and x-rayed in the hospital. All being
well I'll have a story to tell at about 10am
tomorrow.
|
Tuesday 8th September
2015
|
07:57 BST
I was disappointed that the sun went in
just before I set out to go home from work
yesterday. Prior to that it had often been
cheeringly bright and sunny - and it was for a
while after I got home ! On the whole it wasn't
such a bad day. It was dry, there was a fair
amount of sunshine, and I think it was a little
warmer than I expected. I do recall looking at my
thermometer when I got home just before 5pm, but I
can't remember what it said. I think it might have
been 19° C, but I can't swear to it. Today was
forecast to be slightly better than yesterday, and
for the first 20 minutes after sunrise it really
did look that way. Most of the sky was clear, and
the rising sun's light had a very mellow, silvery,
nice autumn day feel to it. Unfortunately it
quickly clouded over, and we have been left with a
rather grey light. The latest forecast still
insists there will be plenty of sunny spells until
about 2pm when the sun will stay in. The only
change then will be a short period of black cloud
at 6pm before it reverts to thinner, lighter grey
cloud. In the unlikely event that the forecast
bears some resemblance to reality, it should warm
up from about 10° C now to 18° C by late
afternoon. The forecast for tomorrow is
practically a clone of today, but Thursday is
summed up by a big friendly sun symbol (and 20°
C).
I spotted this plaque at Waterloo station while
going home from work yesterday. I feel sure I have
never seen it before, but maybe it has always been
there, and it has recently been cleaned.
Alternatively it may have been moved from
somewhere else, perhaps a less accessible part of
Waterloo station. A third possibility is that it
is new, but I don't think so. It currently resides
at balcony level to the right of the entrance to
Waterloo East station. Clicking on the picture
should bring up a much larger version of this
picture - although the details are still a bit
indistinct.
Apart from it always being nice to leave
work and go home, I can't seem to remember
anything good or bad about going home. Like the
previous day, it was just another wasted hour of
my life that I will never get back.
When I got home I called a friend I had been
speaking to in the morning. He is one of those
friends where a good deal of time can pass, and
yet chat comes easily. The last time I saw him was
when I he visited me in hospital 2 years ago. In
that two years he has moved, and three of his kids
have got married, but that was just incidental
news to our chat that went on for as much as an
hour. I am going to try and visit him towards the
end of next week.
Last night was a night of good intentions that
quickly fell apart for some reason. These good
intentions were to do with dinner, and food in
general, and started off OK. I had a salad with
some smoked mackerel, and while it was very nice,
it did leave a fishy taste in my mouth. So I had
another small bowl of salad with some spam. That
was all I intended to have, but later, after, I
have to admit, a couple of large whiskies, I had
some junk food - including two Cadbury's Flakes. I
don't know what possessed me to buy them from the
99p in the first place - and it was a pack of four
!
I don't know if it was anything to do with
the booze, or the food, but I ended up having an
atrocious night. I got to sleep OK at about
9.30pm, and I seemed to sleep OK until I think
2.30am. I woke up feeling edgy and my chest was
sore. I turned over and tried to go back to sleep
but I felt too uncomfortable for several reasons.
My chest went crack, which didn't help the
soreness, but I also realised that I needed the
toilet - and not just for a wee. With that taken
care of I went back to me bed and tried to relax,
but it seemed impossible.
The pains in my chest changed depending on
whether I tried laying on my right side, my left
side, or on my back. When I lay on my back my
chest would sort of pop when ever I breathed in. I
am reasonably confident that it was all just more
of my costochondritus,
or whatever related malady I suffer from, but
there is always that worry that underneath all
that my heart is trying to get my attention.
Eventually, and with the help of a couple of
Ibuprofen tablets, I felt more comfortable, but
everytime I started to relax something else
happened. The most annoying was an itch suddenly
starting on the sole of my right foot. I have no
idea how that happened, or even if it is some sort
of symptom of something, but it's bloody annoying,
and it's not a place you can easily scratch. Once
that had died down, and I began to feel as if I
was about to go to sleep, one of my own hairs fell
down and started tickling my face. Well, at least
that was easy to deal with, but as I did so I
became fully awake again....and then I turned over
which aggravated my chest again ! I must have been
awake for something like two and a half hours in
the night, and I feel shattered now.
Not only do I feel incredibly tired, but my
chest is feeling sore again...or at least it was.
As I write this I realise it isn't sore right now.
Hopefully it will stay that way, although if it
were still painful it might spur me on to finally
make an appointment to see a doctor. The good news
is that once again, my legs seem to be in
excellent working order, and several parts of my
journey to work that involve walking seemed
unusually effortless. I was slightly holding back
from maximum effort to avoid stressing my chest
with too much deep breathing, but it was only
slightly, and I imagine that I could have put a
lot more effort in to walk faster without feeling
any particular stress from it. I sometimes wonder
if invoking more heavy breathing would be
beneficial to my chest, and on a few rare
occasions there have been hints that it is so.
I don't see any reason why I shouldn't go
straight to bed when I get home, although I very
much doubt that I will. I'll have my nightly
battle with trying to keep my food intake as low
as possible without the benefit of cigarettes, and
then, probably after eating more than I would
like, I'll go to bed. The only problem is that I
don't expect I'll get a very good nights sleep. I
seem to be going through a period of time where my
sleep is getting mucked up by silly things. One of
the problems last night, and quite a few recent
nights, is the annoying thing where I feel too hot
under the duvet, and far too cool to not be under
it. Maybe once Autumn really sets in, and the
nights become even colder, I will look forward to
wrapping myself up in the duvet, but in this
halfway house between Summer and Autumn, I just
suffer !
Probably the most important thin today is
that I have washed my hair as well as showered. I
have clean underwear on. My credit card may have a
small amount unpaid on it, but most of it is paid.
My Oyster card (the one I have to use in the
morning when my 60+ card is invalid on trains) is
topped up. So if my chest completely freaks out on
me, and I end up in hospital, I'll be fine. I'll
be able to relax, and have a nice holiday. I have
to bear in mind that it's now 2 days past the two
year parts and labour warranty on my quad heart
bypass operation, and once the warranty runs out
it's bound to fail again. To do otherwise would be
to fail Sod's law, and Sod's law is usually
unbreakable !
Update :
09:43 BST
I've bitten the bullet and made an
appointment to see a doctor this coming Thursday
morning. Hopefully I will get a definitive
diagnosis about my chest troubles, and see if
there is any remedy for it that doesn't involve
being mummified for 3000 years while my chest
rebuilds it's internal superstructure. Maybe it
will be something worth a couple of weeks off
work. Now I have the additional income from my BT
pension, I could survive on sickness benefit
without ending up in the poor house. So maybe a
few months of work might be good ! Back in the
real world, I wouldn't be surprised to be told to
just keep taking Ibuprofen, and hope for the best.
|
Monday 7th September
2015
|
08:15 BST
Maybe I was a little pessimistic about how
yesterday afternoon's weather would turn out. It
didn't continue to get cloudy as it seemed it
would, and there were still plenty of sunny
periods in the afternoon. By late afternoon the
temperature was probably approaching 18 or 19° C.
It wasn't me but the forecasters who were ultra
pessimistic about today's weather. Yesterday the
forecast said that today would range between quite
dull, and extremely dull to the point of seeming
almost like night. That forecast was hastily
changed when this morning dawned bright and clear.
Now the forecast says that today will possibly be
slightly better than yesterday. There should be
more sunshine, and it should get a little warmer,
although that may be a little too optimistic.
There is also a chance that we could get a cover
of thin cloud mid to late afternoon. At least it
is very cheerful now, and in a way it needs to be.
Admittedly 10° C is a couple of degrees less cold
than yesterday started, but it is still rather
nippy out there ! Tomorrow could even see a small
improvement over the best that today can offer.
This picture was taken at a similar time to the
one I took on Friday morning - about 06:28am.
As the days get shorter it is even closer to
sunrise, but the sky is bright and blue -
chilly, but nice !
Yesterday afternoon I
laid on my bed, and read for a while, and I
think I had a short snooze, although I have to
confess I don't seem to remember if it was a
10 second, or full hour snooze. Maybe I just
wasn't timing it. When I had finished doing
that I allowed a bit of time to pass so I
could get the creases out of my body, and then
I washed 4 shirts and some underwear. There
was a theory that I might do more housework
after that, and in a very limited way I did. I
cleaned part of the work surface in my
kitchen, and washed up several items, but that
is all I did...apart from cooking some lamb
chops and some peas. They made a nice Sunday
dinner, but maybe not as wonderful as I had
hoped for.
I tried to go to sleep at 9pm, but sleep
wouldn't come, and it wasn't until 10pm, or
maybe even a little after that, that I finally
dropped off to sleep. I didn't sleep that well
- partly because something interesting
happened. I had always wondered if I suffer
from sleep apnoea. This is the condition,
usually associated with snoring, where the
throat closes up and you stop breathing until
you wake up gasping (although apparently the
waking can be so brief that it is quickly
forgotten). Last night I definitely suffered
from it.
The interesting thing was that it was
accompanied by a suitable dream. I was running
up a slope like the exits from the platforms
at Waterloo east station, except this slope
was in the open with just railings either side
of it. At first running seemed easy, but after
a while it seemed like my ankles were tied
together, and although I still seemed to be
making good progress, and apparently with no
shortage of breath, I had to adopt a very
strange (probably impossible) running style.
As I neared the top I saw a rabbit running
away below me. Then at the top I noticed a dog
in an adjacent field, and I tried to attract
it's attention by calling to it, but all I
could manage was a sort of hissing sound. It
was then that I woke up slightly short of
breath, and my throat feeling as day as a
bone.
The interesting thing about it was that
I have very rarely experienced a similar set
of feelings, and then not for many years. With
a completely unwarranted excess of optimism, I
am tempted to think that it is rare for me to
suffer from sleep apnoea, although obviously
it does happen, and maybe more frequently than
I think, but maybe less severe than the
episode last night. One reason for it
happening last night was that I wasn't
comfortable in bed. It was one of those nights
where I was feeling a bit too warm to pull the
duvet over me completely, and I thrashed
around rucking up the sheets, messing up the
pillows, and it almost seemed like I managed
to rotate the duvet in it's cover (with some
of it hanging out the bottom !).
This morning is one of those ambiguous
mornings where bits of me feel quite good, and
other bits not so good. My legs seemed to be
in good shape this morning, and walking could
have been pleasurable if it wasn't so cold,
and I wasn't suffering from a sort of empty,
almost acid feeling in my stomach. On top of
that there were a selection of common
complaints from my chest area. It does seem
that that the aches and pains have moved
around in the last few days. Once again,
particularly when I was sitting on the train,
and for a short time after I alighted from it,
I have had a pain across my left breast. It is
a slightly sharper, but usually briefer pain
than the milder, but longer lasting pain that
was concentrated more across the middle of my
chest prior to the weekend. Once again I amuse
myself with the fallacious notion that the
surgeon left something inside me, and it is
moving around, and so different bits of my
chest hurt and different times. I could almost
wish it were true just for comedy reasons, but
it can't be, can it ?
Tonight I probably only have one goal,
and that is to try again to have a modest
dinner, and few, or no snacks. Maybe it will
happen one day. This morning I had a whole £3
bowl of salad for breakfast. Unfortunately
some pervert insists on including grated
carrot in these salads. Carrot has no place in
a civilised salad unless it is part of
coleslaw - and some might even argue with that
! Even more unfortunately was that I threw in
a whole pack of cheddar Mini-Babybell's to
give the salad a little more texture and
flavour. I think that was about 120gm of
cheese, and apart from any cheese being too
much, I am unsure if that equates to a big
portion or small. I will probably "pollute"
tonight's salad with fish. That should keep it
a bit healthier.
|
Sunday 6th September
2015
|
13:50 BST
I can't seem to remember how the weather
turned out on Friday. That must mean that it was
neither hot, nor, cold, and neither was it notably
sunny, although I do have a glimmer of memory that
makes me think that there was some sunshine, and I
am fairly sure it was dry. Yesterday was good,
bad, and indifferent. I don't think it actually
rained yesterday morning, but the sky looked ready
to drop rain at any moment. The afternoon was
brighter, and the sun broke through on a couple of
occasions. The only problem is that it felt damp,
and while it wasn't cold, it wasn't warm either.
In the last couple of hours before sunset the sky
cleared to give a rather pleasant looking evening.
The sky stayed (probably) clear overnight, and
this morning the temperature had dropped to a
definitely very cool feeling 6° C. It seems to be
getting a bit cloudy now, but until now it has
been quite sunny. The current temperature is
currently 17° C, but it does seem to be dropping
again by a few tenths of a degree. On the other
hand, the forecast reckons it could still rise to
18 or even 19° C. Tomorrow won't be much cooler,
and it should stay dry, but it is going to be a
damn miserable grey, or even black day !
I didn't have a wonderful day at work on
Friday. For a lot of the time I felt very weary -
a sort of end of the week weariness that would be
understandable if it were a 5 day week, but with
Monday being a bank holiday, it was only a four
day week. Sometimes something exciting would
happen that would make me forget the fatigue, and
any pains I might be feeling, and I would feel
fine physically, but maybe not mentally. For
instance I had an interesting non extreme argument
with one of my workmates. He decided that because
some connection boxes I had made used a different
connection to one he had bodged together, they
were wrong, and he had to correct them so he could
use the same connector. I said go ahead, while
quietly calling him all the names under the sun
under my breath, but I had to warn him in the
strongest most possible terms, that when my
connector boxes were handed over to the sales team
(a team of one who is mostly, but not completely
technically competent) the connector should be
changed back to match the leads I had made for
them.
Going home was neither good nor bad to do,
but obviously good to be able to do. In other
words it was a completely harmless, pointless,
totally bland hour lost of my life. When I got
home I abandoned any idea of eating salad and
stuff, and opted to the Tesco curry ready meals I
had bought the previous night. They were nice, and
were filling. More importantly, the filled an
empty part of my soul....or something like that.
Well it must have done something good because
instead of spending the whole evening being
totally lazy, I set about doing a slightly
important job.
As part of my Local Area Network I have an
ethernet hub connected to the local side of my
firewall. All my computers, wifi points, servers
and other stuff all plug into that hub. Currently
about 6 things are plugged into my network. I
have, or had three different hubs I could use, and
they all suffer to some degree an identical fault
- noisy cooling fans. The best hub is what was an
incredibly expensive Intel made hub (actually
calling it a mere hub is an understatement, but it
will suffice for now). I was using that until
Friday night because it had the least noisy fans
in it.
My project for Friday night was to open up
the other two hubs and either change or clean and
lubricate the fans. The next best hub had fans
that it didn't have spare for, and there seemed to
be no easy way to lubricate the bearings. So I
left one fan that had seized disconnected, and
squirted in generous amounts of WD40 into any
orifice I could see. That seemed to help a little
bit at first, and I put it into service. A couple
of hours later it sounded like there was a hornet
loose in my back room. So I replaced that with a
medium sized, not exactly professional, hub, and
that was, and still is, as silent as a mouse (a
mouse that isn't chewing through the floorboards
that is !).
For the rest of the evening I reverted to
plan A, and was completely lazy up until I went to
bed at around 10pm. Once again it seemed like I
theoretically slept well, but I did not feel too
good when I woke up. A pint of beer while I
watched my friend Aleemah have her veggie
breakfast in the Wetherspoons pub help a little,
and the fresh air and walk helped too. Aleemah
left a little later than would have been useful
(as I'll explain in a minute), and once she had
gone I battled to not eat too much because I
wanted to go out in the afternoon.
Ideally I would have liked to have been free
to leave at least an hour earlier than I did. In
fact two hours would have been helpful. I'm
still not exactly sure what the event I was going
to was called, but it was a sort of mini festival
type thing in The Kings Arms pub in Leaves Green
(just at the far end of the runway at Biggin Hill
airport). There was a band on at 3pm I would have
liked to see, but more importantly I wanted to get
there to see Chain at 5pm. I got there about 10
minutes late, and I think the schedule was
slipping by then, and I only missed about 5
minutes.
It was a nice big stage with bright colourful
lights - none of which lit up the musicians !
This is Chain - (l to r) Chris Mayer on lead
guitar, Jo Corteen, vocals and ryhthm guitar,
Guy Harris, hidden at the back on the drums, and
Matt Helmsley on bass guitar.
Being able to take pictures like this made
buying my new Canon DSLR camera worthwhile. My
Canon "bridge" camera can achieve this sometimes
- unless you look too closely ! The full sized
picture looks rather splendid in my humble
opinion, but it is too large to show here.
Chris Mayer hasn't got as pretty a face as Jo,
but I thought I would do one close up while he
was singing backing vocals.
I guess Chain
probably over ran a bit, and the next band,
Strange Brew, were on a little late, and they
in turn over ran quite a bit. So the next
"band" who were due on at 7pm didn't start
until gone 7.30pm. That next band was not a
band but Matt Sharp doing a solo spot. I am
99.99% certain that Matt doesn't know the
existence of my blog, and so I hope I am free
to say that he sounded awful. His guitar
playing was all tinny and twanging, and his
voice left much to be desired - which is a
shame as he is a nice bloke. The band on
between him and Chain were Strange Brew, and
they were mostly good. What let them down was
the singer not having enough vocal range to
sing all the songs they performed. I don't
think I can fault their instrument playing,
and I can congratulate their guitar and
keyboard player for playing some very
authentic sounding brass on the keyboards.
This is Strange Brew on stage with a guest
harp(harmonic/mouth organ) player in the
white shirt.
As the last wails
of Matt's set died away, I went to get my
bus home. I had intended to leave 15
minutes earlier, half way through his set,
but I exited the pub just in time to see
my bus disappearing in the distance. So I
went back inside for a while, and got the
next bus. I guess that was quite close to
7.30pm because it was just starting to get
dark, and sunset was around then. It was
gone 8pm by the time I arrived back in
Catford. It was an almost uneventful
journey, but I had either jarred my right
shoulder somehow, or it was the result of
standing in a not very warm, and
definitely damp, field for a few hours,
but every time I yawned, and I yawned a
lot on the way home, I got a brief
unpleasant pain across my left breast.
When I got back to Catford I could,
and should have cooked something at home,
but I couldn't seem to resist buying a few
pieces of chicken, a portion of fries, and
load of spicy chicken wings on the way
back. It was certainly nice to have
instant hot food when I got in, but it did
bring a twinge or two of guilt ! At least
I save all the chicken wings for breakfast
this morning (more guilt !). After I had
eaten I felt too tired to even take a
quick look at the photos I had taken, and
it wasn't long before I was in bed, and
fast asleep.
I'm sure I must have got at least 8
hours sleep last night, and yet I was
feeling sort of tired all morning. I was
also feeling some of the effects of
standing in a cold damp field. Fortunately
I had a nice simple (mostly), but also
mentally tiring job to do - selecting and
editing photos. It took hours to do, but I
was quite pleased with a lot of the
results, but.... The trouble is I am still
seeking some sort of perfection, and I am
not there yet. I look back at pictures I
have taken in the past, and what seemed
good at the time, and now I can take far
better pictures, but it is still not good
enough. The sad thing is that I may never
be satisfied with my photos unless someone
invents a way to capture the sights, the
smells, the textures, the movement, the
whole air of the pace. Well the movement
can be captures as video, but it is not
immersive. I guess I am looking for Star
Trek Holodeck
technology. Maybe that will exist one day,
but not in my lifetime.
Sitting down, editing photos for
hours on end is a real artery clogging
experience (or....), and by midday I
needed a break and some fresh air. By then
it had warmed up after the very cool start
to the day, and I went out in just a
t-shirt (plus trousers and shoes !!) to
see what was good in the 99p and £1 shops.
I seemed to spend quite a lot of money in
both of them, but I do seem to have ended
up with enough cleaning materials to do a
very useful amount of housework some
imaginary day. I also bought some tins of
coconut water with lime. My friend Aleemah
likes them, and so I thought I would try
one today. Hmmm, when ice cold it is
drinkable, but I can't seem to find it
enjoyable.
It's now almost 3pm, and I seem to
have been writing for a long time. The
next thing I think I will do is have a lie
down, and maybe read or snooze. After that
I ought to do a bit of laundry. After
that, if I have any enthusiasm or energy
left, I could start to use some of those
cleaning materials I bought today, but
somehow I doubt I will get around to doing
that.
|
Friday
4th September 2015
|
08:18 BST
As far as I can recall, it was dry
yesterday, and there was even some sunshine. It
probably wasn't a bad day on the grand scale of
things. It even felt a tiny but too warm in my
coat on the way home from work. It was almost 17°
C when I arrived home. It does feel a bit sad to
say that was anything like good for an early
September day, but I suppose it wasn't bad. Today
has started off horribly grey, and cloudy, and
rather cool. It was only 10° C when I walked to
the station this morning. I would reluctantly
confess that I still haven't actually felt that
Autumn nip in the air yet, but it's not far
off - although maybe it has reached my
bathroom. It was definitely damn chilly standing
in the wet and naked with the window ajar !
Apparently it will rain soon, but it shouldn't
last long. From then on it is supposed to be dry,
but the whole day is going to see the sky wrapped
in light cloud except for the times when it is
wrapped in heavy cloud ! The forecast reckons it
will be no more than 16° C today....I've known
warmer xmas days !
The view towards where the sun should be rising as
I waited for my train this morning. I took this
picture at approx 06:28, or about 10 minutes after
sunrise. It is not visible in this picture, but
one cloud did have a slightly bright edge to
confirm that the sun had actually risen, and
hadn't gone out !
I seem to feel very variable these days. I
didn't feel too great yesterday morning, but by
the afternoon, apart from a few mild tingles
coming from various teeth where I had been a bit
over eager with some flossing, I felt pretty
average with a mere hint of good. Unfortunately it
didn't translate to any great desire to rush
around, or perform other heroics, but at least
getting home wasn't a huge chore. While I didn't
seem to have any energy for rushing up and down
stairs, escalators, or long passages between
stations, I didn't seem to lack the energy to
detour via Tesco on my way home from the station.
Maybe it was the lure of tasty food that did seem
to unlock a bit of extra energy, and I did have a
very small spring in my step as I walked to Tesco.
I was partly careful about what I bought in
Tesco, and partly not ! I bought a couple of ready
meal curries to amuse myself (probably tomorrow
night), and I bought some reduced price sandwiches
to enjoy last night. Plus I bought some salad
stuff to amuse myself with at anytime - including
last night. I wasn't quite sure what I intended to
eat last night, but I ended up having three packs
of tuna sandwiches, a sort of oriental flavoured
chicken salad, and some noodly things. What I
probably should have had a was a big steak and
kidney pudding with lashings of mashed
potatoes.....but we can all dream !
I didn't do anything constructive last
night, and I was in bed, and asleep, very soon
after 9pm. I am tempted to say that I slept well,
because it did seem that way, but it is
inconsistent with how much I would love to go back
to bed right now. I certainly only woke up a
couple of times in the night, and they were all
very brief, but I seemed to be in that weird state
where you think you are awake for the last hour,
and yet all you can remember are non stop dreams -
some seem like reality, and others rather less so.
One dream I had felt like I was actually in
someone else's dream. It was a dream set against
an unknown background, but it did feature someone
from my past. She was one of the young women who
used to work in the office of my previous employer
some 15 years ago now. I can't recall having any
great affection for her, nor any erotic desires
for her. At best my feelings or desires were
neutral, and maybe very slightly negative, and yet
15 years later she appears in what turns out to be
a mildly erotic dream - featuring nakedness, but
no actual "action" !! I can't believe I would have
invented that dream. So it must have been someone
else's dream. Maybe it was hers, but hopefully
not. It would be a major tragedy to find out 15
years too late that she fancied me !
This morning I woke up feeling better than
usual. Nothing of any significance seemed to hurt
until I started brushing my hair. There were no
problems using my right hand, but when I swapped
the brush to my left hand, and started brushing,
my chest went pop, crunch, and creak, and it then
became slightly sore. The discomfort was not
enough to stop me brushing, nor to do anything
else, but it did feel a shame that it had spoiled
what might have been a nice morning.
Later on, particularly after being out in
the cold, a few other bits of me felt a stiff and
creaky - elbows and wrists in the main. I did have
one other ache, and that was from my guts. They
say that a bit of roughage is good for the
digestive system, and while backed up with some
stodge, it probably is. It may not be so when your
breakfast is just one huge heap of salad - like
yesterday and today. The amount of salad I had
yesterday was huge. It had to be to allow a pile
of weeds to come to 82 calories ! This morning,
when I went to the toilet, I was passing cow pats
instead of the usual ! This morning I have had
another huge, but only 72 calories, salad. It
didn't stay at 72 calories because I added a chunk
of Mexicana cheese to it for a bit of extra
flavour, but it was still probably fairly low in
calories compared to some breakfast options. My
guts now feel a bit bloated again, but that should
pass soon - I hope.
I do feel sleepy right now. Some say that
lettuce has a soporific effect, although I don't
know if that is true of all the varieties of
lettuce, and I am not sure if all the leaves I ate
for breakfast were all lettuce. Some looked like
the leaves of weeds growing on the roadside
! Hopefully the effect will pass soon, and that I
am as fit as a fiddle when I go home from work -
although I am not wildly optimistic that will
happen. These grey clouds weight heavily on me
like extra rolls of fat around my gut ! Tonight I
will aim to have a non salad dinner, and attempt
to not eat too much of it. Then I will either have
a brain seizure and start doing some housework, or
I will be as lazy as lazy can be before falling
into my bed for (hopefully) a nice long sleep !
|
Thursday 3rd September
2015
|
07:51 BST
The weather forecast came very close to
correctly predicting the weather yesterday. After
a sunny start it slowly began to cloud over, but
it was quite thin cloud, and so it stayed fairly
bright until sometime after 5pm. Around 6pm there
was a moderately heavy shower, but it didn't last
very long. An hour later there was an even heavier
shower. Somewhere not too far away it was an even
heavier downpour still - heavy enough for a flash
of lightning, and a peel of thunder ! There may
have been more rain after dark, but I was unaware
of it. At some time in the early hours the clouds
thinned out, and that allowed the temperature to
drop to just 10° C this morning. The sun was still
very low in the sky as I came to work, but it was
mostly a sunny journey. Now the clouds are
beginning to cover more and more of the sky. They
should stay thin enough for the day to look fairly
bright until 5 or 6pm when rain is forecast again.
Once again, the top temperature is forecast to be
around 15 - 16° C - which is rather disappointing.
In an effort to cheer us up, the weather
forecasters are saying that the weekend may see
temperature a degree or two higher, and there may
be more sunshine. Some pundits are still saying
that there is a brief heatwave due in the near
future - just before it turns more like winter !
I didn't feel too good at work yesterday.
There was no one thing that I could complain
about. It was just a selection of mild annoyances.
I suppose one the biggest annoyances was that I
felt I should be feeling rather good, but instead
I was feeling decidedly average. All the energy I
seemed to have on Tuesday night seemed to have
completely evaporated. I think that maybe my body
was practising for winter when the cold and damp
will really make me stiff and creaky ! Leaving
work and heading back towards home via the pub
didn't seem to enthuse my body to perform any
better than very average.
The pub we met in was The Ladywell Tavern,
and it wasn't where I thought it was. There used
to be a pub right next to Ladywell station, and I
thought that was The Ladywell Tavern, but that is
now a cafe and bakery. The pub I wanted is a few
minutes walk from the station and is the pub I
hoped it wouldn't be ! Once upon a time it
was a nice pub, and was frequented by nurses from
Lewisham Hospital - which was rather nice - then
10 or 12 years ago it seemed to fill with all
sorts of disagreeable characters (probably
football fans). The place is under new management
now, and didn't seem so bad last night, but I am
still not that comfortable in there.
I left after three pints, and I was going to
walk home through the park, but I had to see Jodie
on the train back to Elmers End, and I thought I
might as well get on the train for the one stop to
Catford Bridge, and walk back home from there.
With some beer in me, I was able to walk back home
from the station fairly fast while remaining
comfortable, but I still didn't feel like I had
the energy of the previous night. To boost my
chances of feeling good today I had carefully
planned dinner to be almost sensible. The almost
is because what was supposed to be a large part of
it was some bits of chicken I had pre-cooked in my
new mini oven the night before, and left in the
microwave ready to be zapped up to hot again for
eating (too hot as it turned out).
All that chicken, with the skins on, was not
the healthiest option, and for some reason didn't
seem tasty enough to justify it anyway. I also
planned to have some salad with the chicken, but I
had that with a bit of left over cheese that was
drying up and getting crusty (but was actually
nicer for it). That should have been more than
enough, but I guess even three pints of beer was
enough to corrupt my senses, and I had another
salad. The second salad was a spam salad featuring
a whole mini tin of spam.
When I had finished over eating I went up to
my PC, but made a point of not using it to watch
any TV. Soon after 8pm I was in bed reading, and
having finished the book I was reading (The
Integral Trees by Larry Niven) I turned out
the lights, and I think I was fast asleep by 9pm.
I guess I slept as well as most days - not as well
as I would hope, but not bad. The only anomaly was
having to get up at about 1am to go to the toilet
- but not for a wee !
This morning I feel no better than I did
yesterday morning, and maybe the morning before
that. I feel rather creaky, and I think last time
I described as reminding me of what 'flu feels
like. Many of my joints feel stiff, and I feel
sort of weak - or maybe it's more of a feeling
that I can't be bothered to raise the energy to
rush around. Following on from the unusual
stabbing like pain I felt on Monday, I have had
some other unusual pains. In the pub, while
sitting in a less than comfortable chair, I had an
almost cramp like pain on my left side. That went
as soon as I stood up, and I have a similar thing
on my right side while sitting on the train this
morning. The most peculiar pain this morning is
around whatever the joint is called that connects
my left thumb to my left hand. Of course the weird
thing is that as soon as I tried to move my thumb
around to better describe the location and
strength of the pain it almost went away. I still
have some very mild pain/stiffness in both wrists.
I feel like what I need is to bake in some
hot sun, but that's not going to happen. What is
going to happen soon is that I am going to be
using the heater in my bedroom again. I'm sure it
is premature, but it is really feeling like Autumn
now. Reports in this mornings paper say that this
August was officially the wettest August for 100
years for the Isle Of Wight, the wettest for only
50 years in most other places (where records were
conveniently only started 50 years ago !). It may
have also said that it was one of the coolest
Augusts in living memory....or something ! Yes,
this summer has been a total wash out. I had hoped
to get far more exercise on days out while I was
out of blood pressure drugs and feeling good, but
I guess that I had better see my doctor soon, and
get a new prescription made out to keep my blood
pressure down during the sedentary months of
Winter. I did attempt to make an appointment two
nights ago, but I couldn't be bothered to spend so
much time on the phone, and hung up after a few
minutes of listening to muzak.
|
Wednesday 2nd September
2015
|
08:34 BST
Yesterday was a great improvement on the
day before, but it still had it's low spots. At
around 10am, an hour earlier than expected, there
was a torrential downpour. It was far heavier than
expected as well as being early, but it didn't
last that long. Probably no more than 10 minutes.
From then on it was a reasonable day with a few
sunny spells. It was still mild enough to be
comfortable without a coat (although I wore mine
on the way home from work), but it was a close run
thing. I didn't check the temperature when I git
home, but I would be surprised if it were any
higher than 20° C, and maybe 18° C might be a
generous estimate. There was a further splash of
rain in the evening, but the skies cleared
overnight, and that meant the air definitely had a
nip of Autumn in it when I was showering with the
bathroom window open. Brrrr ! On the plus side it
is a lovely sunny morning, and hopefully it will
stay this way for some time yet. The forecast says
that it will occasionally cloud over, but it
should stay dry until early evening. The wind,
although no more than a very light breeze, is
coming from the north, and is pushing in cold air
to kill any gains made by extra sunshine today. It
is possible that the temperature will rise to no
more than 15 - 16° C today. Tomorrow could be
cooler still, and also more cloudy.
I wasn't in any great discomfort at work
yesterday, but I could have wished to feel better.
I started the day with my chest feeling a little
crunchy, and sitting down at my desk for long
periods created some discomfort from that
crunchiness. So it was some relief when I left
work to go home. At first it was annoying, but not
actually painful, as I walked up the road with my
chest clicking and popping. I was also getting
some very localised stabbing pains almost in the
centre of my chest. That was something new, and it
wasn't until I got home and changed that I
realised what it was. The good thing is that I
seemed to have an unusual amount of energy as I
made my way home.
While I ate too much over the long bank
holiday weekend, I was still careful about what I
ate, and my aim was to minimise sugars and
starches. I even kept my beer consumption down to
help in that respect. The result is that my blood
glucose level must be not too far above normal,
and only eating salad for breakfast (and no lunch)
must have dropped it even further. It is the only
explanation of why I could almost run up the
stairs from the subway at Waterloo East station
last night. Of course it could also be that I
might have lost a pound or two, and that would
explain why I was only very mildly, almost not,
short on breath when I got to the top. I
think I may have even shaved 20 - 30 seconds off
the time when I walked from the station to home.
I was feeling rather good when I got home.
Virtually all pains and discomforts had receded
right into the background, and because my blood
glucose level was low(er than usual) I didn't even
feel ravenously hungry. When I changed out of my
work clothes I noticed what looked like a zit on
my chest. It was roughly where the stabbing pains
I felt earlier were coming from. The only peculiar
thing was that I don't recall starting the day
with even a hint of a zit there, and this one
looked like it had popped all by itself. I don't
think it was a zit, but I don't know what it could
have been. However, I am sure it is where I had a
small scar from where a drain tube was fitted in
my chest sometime during my operation 2 years ago.
I can't even guess how that might mean anything,
but I feel it is no coincidence, and in some ways
it does seem to bolster my theories that all my
chest pains and stuff is from stuff happening just
under the skin - at bone/ligament level. If it
wasn't for the fact that I am sure it would have
been incredibly more painful, I might even think
that what looks superficially a bit like a popped
zit, is actually a miniature stab wound from the
inside out !
If I hadn't got bored, and started munching
on stuff like a pack of crispy bacon, I might have
got away with eating quite healthily last night.
Part 1 of my dinner was a couple of cod and cheese
fishcakes with a bowl of salad. part 2 was another
ready made salad that came with sliced egg in it.
I added some leftover blue cheese to it, and an
extra sprinkle of (allegedly) "Healthy Living"
honey and mustard dressing on it. If I had found
something on TV that grabbed my attention, or had
started some housework or something, I may have
got away with eating no more than that, but I got
bored.
Another thing I could have done was to give
up on TV even earlier, and done some reading in
bed instead. That is what I ended up doing a
little while after 8pm, but I could have done it
soon after 7pm if I had had any sense. Oh well, at
least I did it in the end, and after less than an
hours reading I turned out the lights, and I think
I went to sleep pretty quickly. I'm not sure if I
slept well or not. My confusion mainly stems from
being unable to tell if my last hour in bed was
dream filled sleep, or if I was awake exercising
my powers of imagination. It probably was sleep,
but it seemed like I was awake just thinking. The
clue that much of it probably was sleep was the
shock when my alarm went off at 5am !
This morning is another morning when I don't
know if I feel good or bad. On the whole I would
say my main complaint is that I am beginning to
feel cold since sitting down at work. I was
perfectly OK while travelling. So I guess the
answer is to try and keep moving. My chest is good
and bad again - good while moving around (with a
few exceptions) and prone to the odd ache while
sitting slumped in a train seat. Occasionally I
have had a few hot feeling pains diagonally across
my left breast. I am unsure what it is, but I know
it is when I make certain movements with my left
arm or shoulder. The only trouble is that I cannot
do those movements on demand because I have yet to
work out exactly what they are - the pain seems to
lag the movement by a second or two so I can never
catch it in the act !
Tonight is booze night ! It should of course
be on a Thursday night, but Chris is playing a gig
(which is impractical for me to get to) on
Thursday night. So we have moved it to today for
this week. We are going to try the Ladywell
Tavern. It is both very conveniently by Ladywell
station, and quite close to The Ravensbourne Arms
if it turns out to be an unsuitable/unpleasant
venue ! All I have to do is get there - and that
could be tricky if the trains are still mucking
about like they were this morning. My train to
Waterloo East was delayed by unspecified problems,
and after it arrived 12 - 15 minutes late at
Catford Bridge it didn't seem to be able to regain
any time on the way to Waterloo East. When I got
to Waterloo I found all the trains there were
cancelled or delayed because of a problem the
other side of Wimbledon station (which is the next
stop after Earlsfield).
The only train that was shown as in service
was the 07:12 service to Shepperton. So I got on
that and waited, and waited, and waited until it
was announced that the service was cancelled, and
we all had to get off the train again. After a 10,
or minute wait another train was shown in service,
but it was going to run fast to Kingston, and that
was no good for me. It was still standing at the
station (I think) when the train I did finally get
left Waterloo. It was the 07:42 Shepperton service
- and it was packed when we left Waterloo. By the
time it arrived at Earlsfield it was so packed
that the rivets along the sides were beginning to
pop, and I was convinced I would never be able to
push my way to the door to get off. Fortunately I
did.
Some screenshots of the state of the trains at
07:20, and 07:36. Right at the bottom of the
middle image in the 07:42 to Shepperton, and
indeed that was on time at 07:36, but I think we
actually left Waterloo 3 to 5 minutes late.
|
Tuesday 1st September
2015
|
08:19 BST
Yesterday was so horrible that it is best
for it to be forgotten ! Fortunately the incessant
rain and drizzle and cold of yesterday has given
away to.....actually I am not sure what it has
given way to. It hasn't rained since I got up this
morning, but the day did start horribly grey. Then
a miracle happened. As my train was pulling out of
Vauxhall station a beam of sunshine found it's way
through the clouds, and suddenly the world seemed
a better place. It didn't last long, maybe no more
than 60 seconds, but since then I have seen some
quite big patches of blue sky drift past my office
window. The official forecast is that a lot of the
day will see a lot of white clouds, but they could
thicken and darken enough for a shower at 11am
this morning, and they could thin enough to let in
a few more rays of sunshine during the afternoon.
There could be some rain later tonight, but the
forecast, while totally inaccurate for any
particular hour, or even half day, says that the
outlook is for improving weather in the coming
days. It seems the main complaint about today is
that it is going to have an autumn coolness about
it, but even that could change in the next week or
two said a drunken weather forecaster who had just
slipped off his bar stool while drawing isobars on
his soggy beer mat.
Nothing much happened after I wrote
yesterday. I had yet more food, and a couple of
glasses of whisky before going to bed. Maybe it
was the whisky, or maybe I was just tired, but I
had almost enough sleep last night. Maybe it would
have been nice to go back to bed instead of coming
to work, but I'm not sure if I would have managed
to get much sleep...but then again I might have
got loads of sleep. Who can tell ? What I do know
is that I woke up with my elbows, wrists, knees
and ankles feeling slightly stiff and slightly
sore. I wondered if I was going down with 'flu,
and I suppose there is still a possibility of
that, but apart from some pain in my elbows while
I was coming to work, all the other pains seemed
to have disappeared sometime between starting my
morning shower and getting dressed for work.
This morning I am unsure how I feel. There
were those early morning pains, and I have had
some very brief pains in quite diverse parts of my
body, but some bits of me do seem to be working
remarkably well - sometimes. At one point I
thought I would be crawling to the station on my
hands and knees, but it actually turned out to be
one of the easiest walks for some time. At
Waterloo station I even ran at least one carriage
length (maybe almost 2) to make sure I could get
on the front portion of the train before the doors
closed. I know it was an extremely short distance
to run in the grand scheme of things, but it felt
unusually easy, and I also came away with the
impression that I could have run double or treble
that distance without dying too irretrievably.
It's been an awful long time since I was last able
to do that !
Of course the good stuff couldn't last, and
as I got ready to get off the train at Earlsfield
my chest went crack-pop-pop as I swung my rucksack
over my shoulder. That spoiled my walk from the
station to work by causing a few assorted aches
from chest as I walked along. It still felt
like I was walking fast as I did my best to keep
my chest still, and maybe I did get to work a few
seconds faster than usual - or not ? At the moment
I feel mostly OK. My biggest complaint is that it
feels a little cool in my office at the moment.
It's not so cold that I need to shake the dust off
the thin jumper that has been hanging on a coat
hanger here for the last 6 months, but it may not
be that long before Autumn gets it's grip on us,
and I'll start wearing it.
Today marks 2 years since I called 999 to
get an ambulance to take me to hospital with a
suspected, and maybe actual heart attack. Six days
later I was having my quad heart bypass operation,
and six days after that I was back home again ! A
week and half after that I was at a gig ! Many
people still think it was a traumatic experience,
or at least somehow dreadful. There were a few
times when it was a bit unsettling. For instance I
did get a bit stressed when I realised that if I
stayed in hospital too long I might miss the
deadline for my credit card payment. Maybe I am a
bit strange, because overall I found it a very
pleasurable experience. I was in a nice
comfortable bed being waited on hand and foot, and
the period when I was under the anaesthetic was
the best sleep I've ever had ! There is one
difference between sleep and anaesthesia. No
matter how deeply you sleep you are always aware
that time has passed by. Under anaesthesia you are
unaware that time has passed by - usually. I think
in my case I passed from anaesthesia to natural
sleep sometime in the early hours of the morning.
To me it felt like I was waking up from a good
sleep. There was no grogginess, no nausea. It was
all rather amazing. If it were not the line of
staples down my chest, and the swathes of bandages
around my left leg (and the numbness in my left
hand), I woul;d hardly have believed that my chest
had been split down the middle, and opened up like
a rack of ribs ready to be barbecued. Maybe the
biggest surprise was that I had no post operative
pain at all unless I did something stupid. The
nurses kept offering me pain killers, but I didn't
need them. It was the best holiday I've had since
childhood, and I would recommend it to anyone !
After a 5 day weekend of eating half
carefully, but mostly badly, it's back to the
healthy stuff for breakfast this morning !
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