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Wednesday 25th
March 2020
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09:16 GMT
It was rather a gorgeous day yesterday. The
wind was mostly low, the sky was blue, and the sun
was shining. The temperature reached 14° C
(although I confess I didn't check that
personally), and in direct sunshine it did feel
quite warm (not so much in the shade though).
Maybe today will not be quite as good as
yesterday, but according to the forecast it will
only be a solitary degree less. The sun has been
shining since it first rose, and it should stay
shining until sunset. The wind is still from the
east, or it could have been a bit warmer, but it
would probably have been wetter if it were from
the west. It looks like the next two days may be
very similar to today and yesterday, but it all
changes to less pleasant weather for the weekend.
While there are many people who shriek
"stay at home, stay at home" with all the
enthusiasm of those at a Nazi rally, I followed
the actual government guidelines and went out for
my solitary exercise yesterday. I suspect this
annoys many people because apart from trying to
keep some distance between myself and other
filthy, disease laden people, I didn't really have
to change my routine at all. Most of my days are
spent in solitude. The obvious exception to this
is when I meet Angela in the pub at lunchtime -
something we may not be able to do again for
months now.
It was nice being out in the sunshine, but
I found my energy lacking, and I was getting a few
annoying aches. I definitely wasn't running at
100% efficiency. A few indicators suggest I may be
fighting an infection, but one strong one doesn't.
I think much of it may be stress. It is one thing
to naturally learn to embrace solitude if that is
how life deals the cards, but it is another
when Big Boris, in his daily hate broadcast,
screams at you to keep away from others. It is a
classic trick to start totalitarian regimes - no
opposition meetings = no opposition.
Whether I am fighting a virus, or not,
there is another source of irritation. It is one I
have been aware of in a milder form for many years
now, and it is tree pollen. This tree, by the
entrance to the park, seemed to make my eyes very
mildly sting as I neared it on the downwind side.
It is only a very, very mild stinging, and
probably only just over the limit of detection,
but the cumulative effect is another to make my
eyes water, and for my nose to drip. Maybe
fighting this and the virus at the same time is
putting an extra drain on my resources. In some
way it will be annoying to have the virus, but in
so mild a form that I will probably never know for
sure if I did or didn't get it.
The picture above was taken at the halfway
point, by the Ladywell Road entrance to the park.
I was feeling good in the sunshine, but it was
about this point when I decided that I didn't
fancy doing any more than walking back home again
- on the other side of the park.
There were definitely fewer people in the
park yesterday, but the joggers were still out,
and there were 6 people defying government edict
by playing together in the basketball enclosure. I
did see a few couples - one pair seemed to make a
big thing of kissing each other. Nothing like
making isolation seem worse for some people guys !
Government guidelines, which are completely
optional apart from the possibility of fine or
fines or arrest, are that people should stay 2
metres (approx 6ft) from each other. In the park
this was very easy. The usual isolation was
probably well in excess of 10 metres. The
exception to this was the joggers. Once they have
their blinkers on, as the concentrate on their
"fitbits" or whatever they do, it sometimes only
seems like pure chance that they don't run
straight into you. I always gave their backs a
good hard stare as they passed with a whistle of
wind.
This picture shows some of the
problems of keep the official distance from
people. I've already slated the jogger, like the
one on the left, but I had problems with the guy
on the right. There is not a lot of width between
the two fences, and the guy on the right was
possibly pissed. He meandered about a bit as he
very slowly walked along with a couple of bottles
clinking together in his blue carrier bag. I may
not have felt in top form, but I found it really
hard to slow down enough not to crowd him.
I guess it possibly felt like I had walked
double the distance when I got home. In other
words nowhere near knackered, but still glad to
sit down. If I recall correctly I was thinking
that I could have easily pushed myself to add an
extra half mile, but it would have been hard to
think of a simple, and clear route to add that
small amount. I think I gave up so easily because
my original thought was that maybe I could cross
the railway (via the footbridge), and do a circuit
of the west side of the park, but that would add
much more than half a mile, and maybe more like
another mile and a half (although there are lesser
options).
I think I mostly resisted the idea of
eating as soon as I got home from my walk. I
probably did nibble on something, but I can't
remember what, although I am sure it would have
been something fairly innocent. After that I was
shocked when I checked my blood glucose before
dinner time. It had gone up since the morning, and
it was very high. What was worse, and also rather
mysterious, was that I didn't believe the first
reading, and did another from (I think) the other
hand. It was higher still. Something weird is
going on. It has echoes of last August when my
blood pressure and blood glucose peaked quite high
after my mini heart attack. I am as certain as is
possible that I have not had another heart attack.
That leaves fighting infection as a likely answer.
The curious thing was that for someone
fighting infection I was feeling quite good for
the rest of the afternoon, and through most of the
evening - except for one thing. Sitting at my PC
for hours and hours at a time is making my
buttocks ache ! To try and control my blood
glucose a bit better I had a dinner that only had
one bad ingredient in it - raw onion. Onions are
sweet, but they don't usually effect my blood
glucose noticeably (in the wider picture).
It was either while making this dinner of
red cabbage, red onion, lean(ish) ham, and a few
tomatoes that were just about to go furry, that I
came up with to my little brain seemed like a good
idea. The thing that really concerns me is the way
the government is using all stick and no carrot to
encourage "social distancing". If I were in charge
I would put out positive messages like "now is
the time when you can eat raw onion, lots of
garlic, really fishy fish, because no one will
be coming close to you to be offended. It's a
bonus. Enjoy it while you can, and fill yer
boots !".
At this time of social isolation Whats App
is becoming more handy. Patricia has been taking
to sending me audio messages because it is quicker
than typing long news messages on a phone, on
screen, keyboard. It is also useful for when her
internet is a bit touchy. The audio message is not
send until you have finished it, and then when you
press the send button it is quickly squirted
through the internet as a quite small packet of
data. I am starting to use it more.
I had one big audio message from Patricia,
plus a few text messages to add a bit more
information. I also heard from Angela again
yesterday. It was a reply to a message I had sent
in the morning. The reply came through just after
3pm, and it seemed a very warm reply. During our
exchange of messages I said how much I was missing
her, and the pub at lunchtime. She agreed, and
when I said that once this was all over we really
had to get together for a proper boozing session.
Angela seemed very enthusiastic about that. I just
hope it happens. It gives life some extra meaning
when all around is doom and gloom.
My evening seemed to pass quite painlessly,
and before I knew it, it was getting quite late
(which can be around 9pm sometimes, but I think
last night it was closer to 11pm). Once again I
seemed to sleep far better than expected. I even
seemed to wake up fewer times than normal - which
is the opposite of expected when suffering from
high blood glucose. The worst thing is that I woke
up (and by this I mean the type of waking up you
do when actually getting up) earlier than I would
have liked. I did initially get back to sleep for
another half hour or so, but I was having one of
those dreams where you might, or might not be
awake. The dream was about being in bed reliving,
or trying to work out, or remember an earlier
dream. I think I did this while asleep, but who
knows.
This morning I can only say I have felt
worse than this, a lot worse, but I do feel under
par. My blood glucose is not quite as shockingly
high, and after three attempts, my blood pressure
was only slightly above normal (or my current
normal for most of the last couple of years).
These things still point to fighting infection,
but another possibility comes to mind. It is
possible the same could happen when fighting
depression. I most definitely feel depressed about
the current situation. In my mind I can't help but
see parallels between those with the most strident
"stay at home" screams, and those who so
enthusiastically supported Hitler as he rose to
power. It is a shock to find that scratch the
surface, and underneath some, and sadly probably
all of us, are just irrational savages.
One thing is for sure, I am not running a
fever. 35.5° C is slightly low and actually more
typical of my normal temperature. Despite the many
reasons to be depressed, not having a fever is
good news. Another bit of good news is a message I
got from Angela a little while ago. I tried my
first What's App audio message to her. It is a bit
hard trying to think what to say when confronted
with the equivalent of a blank page, but there was
one thing I definitely wanted to say.
At 4am this morning I woke up, and needed
to go for a pee. Fortunately it was not a
desperate need, because there was a delay. As I
put my left foot on the floor I put it down a a
bit of an angle, and my foot/ankle went straight
into a painful cramp. Now I know that Angela is
suffering from what may be gout pains in one of
her ankles, and what I wanted to say was that I
was sharing some of her pain. It is little
gestures like this, that I seem to do without
thinking when it comes to Angela, that get really
heart warming responses. Just the words "That was
so lovely Xxxxx" were all I needed to hear to send
my spirits soaring....well for a while, but then
there is the thought it could still be months
before we can hug each other. That rather drapes a
wet blanket over life.
I am not sure what I really want to do
today. I feel I ought to push myself to go for
another walk in the sunshine, but the idea seems
like hard work. I think I would prefer a snooze.
On the other hand a walk could make one specific
malady better or worse. I am going through another
phase where my chest is being very temperamental
again. Provided I keep certain poses I feel fine,
but one wrong twist, and it can be painful
as one or other of my ribs does something stupid.
As I look around for excuses not to go out
I find one that is a bit lame, but might have to
do. I feel starving at the moment, and even if my
blood glucose is high, I don't fancy fasting at
the moment. I almost have a sort of acidy feeling
in my gut. I think I am going to have breakfast -
if a meal at (checks clock) 11:06am (that late
already) can be called breakfast. Maybe it is time
to have one of my very precious portions of bacon,
and seeing as it doesn't matter how badly I fart
in these isolated days, maybe some baked beans
too.
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