Yesterday was worse than the day before. I just could not raise the enthusiasm to do anything at all except for a brief bit of cooking before dinner time. I think there were (still are, maybe) many reasons for this depression. The weather was definitely a big influence. The rot set in when I seemed to spend all morning in anticipation of the heavy rain forecast. Doing something would have made the time pass a lot quicker, but the morning seemed to drag. Although having said that, I don't think that was the actual case on a conscious level.

  It is hard to explain, and maybe in trying to make explanations that sound simple I am missing the essence of the problem. There was certainly the anticipation of the coming rain that made me decide I would no go out for any exercise. I think there was also the problem that the more time I spent reading to pass the time, the deeper I got into the world of the book, and the less I was interested in the affairs of the outside world - particularly finishing the painting of the wall in the dining room.

  Soon after midday it got very dull outside. It wasn't raining then, but the gloomy light outside sapped any remaining enthusiasm. I'm not sure if the rain starting to fall made things any worse. In one very minor way it made things better and worse. Better because I then knew for definite that I wouldn't have to water the garden, but worse because it took away a possible diversion to the monotony of the day.

  One bad thing yesterday was my mood was such that I wanted to eat too frequently. I partly satisfied this urge with rice crackers. They are fairly safe for me to eat, but I did have other things like some cashew nuts, and maybe even worse, sausages. I found a packet of sausages at the back of the freezer some time ago, and the day before yesterday I transferred them from freezer to fridge to slowly defrost. Yesterday I cooked them, and had them for a slightly late lunch.

  Those sausage were "sausages with tomato". Any sausage that is with something, is usually, but not exclusively, not very good, and yesterday's sausages were no exception. They weren't nasty, but they did leave that sort of feeling of "why did they bother". Adding cheap ingredients to cheap meat slurry does not make that slurry better. My dinner was far nicer. It was something like corned beef hash.

  I mashed over half a tin of corned beef into the bottom of a rectangular pie dish. I gave it a drizzle of my new chilli sauce. Then I put a sparse layer of sliced red onion on it, and put it in a hot oven for 10 minutes (maybe 15). While that was cooking I cleaned and sliced some of my home grown potatoes. I boiled them in the microwave for about 5 minutes until they were almost cooked. I then laid the slices over the corned beef, and sprinkled a little salt, and drizzled some olive oil over them.

  I put the whole lot back in the oven for about 20 minutes. It could have done with a bit more because I had intended to get the potatoes a lot crisper, but a few crispy edges was acceptable. I ate it while watching Star Trek at 6pm. There were two things wrong with it. I tried to eat it while it was still a bot too hot, and so missed out on the best of the flavour, but it was still very good. The second problem was that it was hardly the sort of food that diets are made of !

  There were still a good few hours before bedtime after finishing dinner, and after watching tow episodes of Star Trek. I passed most of the time reading stuff on the internet. I was glad when it got dark, and although relatively early, it felt like time for bed. I read in bed for maybe an hour, but fell asleep quite quickly after I turned the light out. I may, or maybe not, slept OK last night.

  I remember my dreams being punctuated with many apparently long dreams. I can only remember a few brief snatches of some of those dreams. One concerned Radio Caroline. It seemed to be broadcasting from it's ship very close to the coast. It may have been because of bad weather. Another station was also broadcasting from the sea, but even closer to the beach. It was broadcasting from a platform made of scaffolding that had collapsed in a storm. I remember there was a policeman on the beach to try and stop people taking souvenirs from the stuff that was washed up onto the shore. As far as I can remember I was just a passive observer in the dream.

  This morning I feel a bit bloated, but otherwise no worse than many/most mornings. It is possible that I may have a bit more enthusiasm for the day today, but maybe that will wane later. I haven't dared check my weight this morning, but at least my blood glucose is not too bad. It was 7.6mmol/l, and that is just slightly over my typical monthly average. My blood pressure was a bit higher this morning. I am not sure why that was, but it was under 120mmHg (systolic) on my second reading, and that is good enough.

  The sun has popped out briefly a couple of times since starting to write this, and every time I have a little peak of enthusiasm to go for a walk before even going for a morning shower. I don't think that will happen until the slightly bloated feeling I have subsides. There is also the problem that after these very short bursts of sunshine the rain usually starts again.

  I hope that today I can finish the paint job in my dining room. One thing that puts me off is that putting on the first coat was so messy. The old sheet I was using as a dust sheet let any spilled paint soak through and stain the carpet. It was all a bit of a disaster. I have dug out a spare shower curtain to use as a dust sheet (why am I calling something to catch paint drips or spills a dust sheet ?)(probably because I don't know any better). I will also use a foil food container as a temporary paint reservoir. I did that on the other wall, and I made far less mess.

  If I get that second coat of paint done this morning, which feels unlikely, I should be able to get the new curtain rod, and curtains up before the day is over. After that I can sit back and relax until it comes time to do the third wall....and then later still, to paint the doors, frames and window frames with gloss paint that I will somehow have to but sometime in the distant future (when masks are not longer mandatory for shopping).