Once again we have a nice sunny morning, and the sunshine, or sunny spells, should continue to at least 3pm, but after that rain takes over. The middle of the day will be 7° C, like yesterday, but the wet air responsible for this evening's rain, some of which could be heavy rain, will push the temperature up to 9° C. It hasn't been that "warm" for ages now, or so it seems. It's just a shame it will happen when I'll be tucked up in bed. The rain should finish in the early hours of tomorrow, and tomorrow's daylight hours should be bright and sunny, and once again, 7° C.


   I think I can say that yesterday was a good day, although there were elements of sadness about it. The day went pretty much as planned, although from late afternoon it was just free wheeling. After I finished writing here I had a shave. Washed my hair, and had a shower.

  I managed to get all that done in time to give myself 30 or more minutes to cool down before getting dressed to go outside and in my walking boots. I left with three quarters of an hour to get to the pub. That was a very generous time, and allowed me to walk in the wrong direction, to the cash machine by Catford Station, and to feed a few squirrels along the way.

  I initially went out with my coat undone, but before I reached the main road I had to stop to do it up. I thought the sun on my (faux) black leather jacket would be very warm, but any warmth was just blown away by the icy feeling breeze. By the time I reached the cash machine, just 5 minutes later, I was starting to feel moderately warm.

 I stopped long enough to withdraw a wodge of cash, and then headed into the park. I expected to get very warm as I walked through the park, and bits of me did. I could even feel some dampness on my arms, but it was worth it to keep that cold air off my chest. I did have a few twinges from my chest, generally around my operation scar, when I started walking, but they went away once my chest warmed up a bit.

 
  One of the first things I noticed when I went out was that the signs by the school had changed. Last week they said "Shool Street", as if that was important, but now it seems they are encouraging the primary school kids to play with the cars in the road. I suppose the next thing is to build schools in the middle of motorways or something.
  I noted that the shop units, at the bottom of the block of flats that back on to Catford Station, that have been unused since built, are now partly in use. There was some work going on in there behind whitewashed windows for many months, but now the two left hand units have become one shop Dolce - Desserts and Cafe, is now open and doing business. I'm not sure if it will ever be any use to me. The right hand unit now has a sign up "Craft barbers", but looks to be still being fitted out. I am very sure I won't be making use of it !
  I wasn't sure if ducks could, or even should try and eat almonds, but they demonstrated that they will, and do ! I had taken a handful of almonds with me to feed the squirrels, and wondered what would happen if I tossed a few into the water - the ducks, and drakes, grabbed them as the sank towards the bottom, and then came back for more.
  I only spotted a few solitary squirrels yesterday, and none were in good places where I could try and hand feed them. This, like another one who grabbed a few nuts, was behind a fence. If it felt bold, maybe egged on by it's mates, it could have sat on top of the fence in milliseconds, and could have taken a nut from my hand, but it was quite content to sit on the ground 6ft from me, and munch on an almond.

  Angela looked very happy when she came in the pub. I get the impression she was looking forward to out quick lunchtime drink as much as I was. Now she has made up from the little rift she had with her daughter she is far more relaxed, and sort of loving.

  There were several things she said that were about wanting to be able to spend more time with me. These things were not prompted by me, and weren't just about drinking. One was that "I wish we could spend all afternoon in the pub together", and she also said that maybe one day we would. There was also a suggestion that we might have a quick drink in The Black Cat after work some day - possibly before Xmas. I have an idea to make that a bit more possible/probable.

  The saddest thing was when we were talking about eating. As she has said a few times in the past, she would like to cook me another dinner, but circumstances make that almost impossible, and "it's all a bit of a fuck up really". Self delusion can be really strong when thinking about this, but I do feel that she only stays with lover boy out of a sense of duty rather than love.  We seem so close that if he were out of the way I wouldn't be surprised if we rekindled our lover affair.


  The picture above was not taken by me, but was a selfie Angela took when she was back at work.
  After a big hug outside Angela's office I walked home through the park. The sun never did quite make it out, but this picture shows that there were areas of blue, albeit a slightly grey blue, were visible, and just left of centre the sun was almost burning through the clouds. The camera has flattened to picture, but to the naked eye the position of the sun behind the cloud was obvious by the dazzlingly bright area in the middle of the clouds.

  It was nice to get home, and out of the wind/breeze. It felt quite warm once I had closed the front door behind me. At any other time it would feel a bit cool because there was no heating on while I was out. In some ways I probably didn't feel all that hungry, but of course a bite to eat after a walk, even just a 2.3 mile walk, always feels like a good idea. On this occasion there was another factor in play.

  Before going out, and maybe even the night before, I realised I had all the ingredients to make tuna and bell pepper sandwiches. I knew they would not be quite as good as the tunas a and pepper baps I used to buy from the bakery in Beckenham when I used to work in the telephone exchange there. They were orgasmically good !  The ones I made yesterday were poor by comparison, but still very nice.

  After eating the sandwiches I checked through the photos I took, and edited the selection I have shown here. With that done I could lay on my bed to do some reading, and relaxing. I'm not sure how long I read for before my eyelids started to droop. I put the book down, and it could have been no more than a few minutes before I was having a good snooze. I can't be sure, but I think I snoozed for as long as an hour.

  In theory I had almost eaten enough earlier to just need a quite light dinner. Maybe a cheese and onion sandwich would have been enough, but I opted for a hot meal. I oven grilled some German "Frikkadelen", or whatever they are called (similar to a spiced pork patee), and I ate those with some Heinz "no added sugar", but still moderately high sugar, baked beans. It was rather filling, and it was good to have a few hours to let it settle before I attempted sleep.

  I say "attempted sleep" because after a bit of TV, and then reading some more, I tried to get to sleep, but nothing happened. On this occasion I can't blame it on any discomfort - I just didn't seem to be tired. It was all a bit extreme because I think it was getting on towards 2am before I got any proper sleep. I think I may have dozed off for a few odd minutes once or twice, but I just couldn't seem to stay sleeping. From 2am I slept almost normally.

  This morning I did my best to have a long lie in. I was thinking of not getting up until 9am, for instance, but shortly before 8am I realised I was not going back to sleep again. It was then time to check my blood glucose. I had a bot of a shock. I got the reading I was expecting yesterday after eating a lot of stuff I shouldn't have. I knew some stuff I ate yesterday was not good for me, but I didn't think there was much of it. I am almost willing to believe that the reading of 11.4mmol/l, that is dangerously high, was the result of what I ate the day before yesterday.

  I will try and eat more carefully today, but there is a problem - it's Thursday, and Michael and Jodie should be joining me this afternoon for another beer drinking session. Some of the beers will be strong beers, and so I will end up drunk enough to not being in full control of my eating. Sometimes that doesn't matter because I don't have anything too bad in the cupboard/fridge, but today I do !! Oh well, there's always tomorrow.