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July 2022 August 2022

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Wednesday 31st August 2022
 07:18 BST
  
  My hope that yesterday might be sunnier, and maybe warmer, that the forecasts predicted was dashed yesterday. My theory that the weather forecast may be wrong was correct. It turned out that the first sunny spells were from about 11am, and continued for a few hours into the afternoon, but by, or soon after 2pm the sky filled with some very dark looking clouds. They were fairly fast moving, and parts of the sky only had white cloud from time to time. The forecast for it being 22° C turned out to be about right. The temperature seems to be the only thing that several forecasters agree on, and is generally correct.
  lots
                              of sunny spells - hopefully
  This morning the forecast has got off to a good start. I can see a bank of cloud to the west, but most of the sky is clear, and the sun is shining. It is still very cool outside though - just 15° C. Judging by the first revision since I took the screenshot above, it seems that the forecast for today is a bit random. The latest revision has juggled the times of the sunny spells around, and maybe added one or two. It is probably safe to say that today will be dry, and the late afternoon temperature should  be 22° C. There is something familiar about the forecast for tomorrow. I am sure it was the forecast for today yesterday. It shows a bright morning, but sunshine will give way to clouds, maybe before mid morning, and the rest of the day will be cloudy. It will also be a degree warmer at 23° C.

   Yesterday was another in a series of strange days. The strangeness was probably just the mood I was in, and that was formed from various inputs. The weather being a significant input. Although there were 3 or 4 hours of sunny spells, the rest of the day was not inspiring. In fact during the sunny spells deep grey, evil looking, clouds could still be seen in the distance. I didn't feel inclined to go out, but I did.

  The morning started with a big shock that left me feeling sad, or depressed, or just negative. Angela announced on social media that she had got engaged. It is one thing to know that our relationship has cooled over the last couple of months, and that for a couple of years it has been obvious that any change for the better was highly unlikely, but to have it rammed down your throat is liable to leave you a bit upset.

  The fact is that of all the relationships I have had in my entire life my relationship with Angela has been the one I have most hoped to succeed. It felt so natural. Maybe that is where I went wrong. I was so dazzled with how we just seemed to fit together that I didn't want to fight when a far more persuasive, possibly control freak, came along. I thought she would see through him, but what I didn't take into account is that she has had a couple of prior abusive marriages, and now considers them normal.

  I took a little stress out of my lift to putting it into hand washing a couple of t-shirts and 4 pairs of underpants. That lot did not need a lot of energy to wash, but I expected I would have to dry it indoors, and that limited how much I could do. The sun did come out in time to hang it all on the line, but at that time the line was in the shade of the fence, and by the time the sun had moved across the sky enough to fall on the washing it was rapidly disappearing behind dark clouds.

  I brought the washing in while it was still half damp, and dried it on a clothes horse using a desk fan to blow on it. By about 6pm it seemed to be dry enough to hang up the t-shirts and pile the underpants onto the ready to wear pile. Before all that I decided that I wanted some booze, and something to eat. I think it was just after midday when I went to Tesco. The booze I was after was some cans of Guinness. I bought 8 cans of it. That and two 2l bottles of Diet Coke filled my rucksack.

  If I had more room I would have bought a bottle of whisky too, but I didn't need that yesterday, and I'll get one another day - although maybe I might just get more Guinness. I drank 6 cans of it from late afternoon through to mid evening, and it went down well. Upon examining the cans I saw a complete nutritional panel, and it said each 440ml can had 0.9gm of sugar. That is pretty low, although I once thought it was zero.

  I also bought two packs of club chicken sandwiches from Tesco. I knew they were naughty, but I also knew that among the different selections offered, they did seem to have less sugar than most, but 4.5gm of sugar per pack (or even worse, possibly per individual sandwich) was not a trivial amount. At the time my mood was in a temporary couldn't care less state, and I took great delight in stuff the whole lot down my throat. On the matter of taste, I should have only opened, or ideally only bought one pack. The first was really delicious, but the last sandwich in the second pack was sort of moring, and even a chore to eat.
upside down
                              anvil cloud
  On my way back from Tesco I spotted the grey cloud almost in the middle of this picture. It could have been as early as when I was in primary school when I learned (but mostly for got again) the names of most common clouds. That cloud seemed to have rather poorly defined anvil shape, and I remembered that anvil clouds often develop into thunderstorms that also feature hail. When I checked I realised that it is the top that should be flat, and not the bottom. Oh well, at least I remembered a tint bit of my early education even if I got it wrong in the end.

  I knew that after eating those sandwiches I dare not eat anything else for the rest of the day. I didn't - even with the effects of the alcohol from 6 cans of Guinness.  By traditional I should have been off my food after being wounded in the heart in the morning, but I can't recall a single time when I have been off my food. I had to sort of force myself that not eating for the rest of the day was the traditional thing to do on such occasions.

  Apart from bringing in the washing to dry indoors, and subsequently putting it away when it was dry, I did nothing except read and watch TV for the rest of yesterday. I expected, or hoped that I might snooze a bit in the afternoon, and maybe between chapters in the book, but I don't think I did snooze. Later on I watched a fair but of TV - episodes of The Simpsons, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: Deep space nine, and half an episode of "Abandoned Engineering".

  The latter programme is very interesting, but the presenting makes me want to scream at the presenters to get on with the information instead of going on about how it is all mysterious, creepy, and a whole other load of negative descriptions. Not only that but the programme is heavily padded out with loads of repeated fly by shots using a drone, and also by presenters repeating what each other has already said. I have no idea why I put up with it, but the core of it is interesting.

  I checked what QI was about last night. I seem to recall it had a few good guests on it, but there would be a break of an hour before the last programme I watched finishing at 8pm, and QI starting at 9pm. I decided not to bother waiting for QI, and went to bed to read for perhaps half an hour. I was asleep as early as 8pm. I had the duvet in the duvet cover last night, and for half the night I slept under the duvet. I know I got up quite a few times in the night, but drinking Guinness just before going to bed has that effect ! On the whole I seemed to sleep well last night.

  I am not sure if I feel refreshed this morning, I probably would if there seemed a good reason to be refreshed. One good thing about not eating after about 2pm (1pm ?) was that this morning I got a really good blood glucose reading. It was just 7.7mmol/l - almost down to my target of 7.5mmol/l, and down in the pre-diabetic region. A few more mornings like that and I would feel it Ok to eat the big slice of Madeira cake that is still in it's hermetically sealed package I bought it in nearly a year ago.

  I guess I am going to see Angela at lunchtime today, but it is not going to be a pleasant experience. I think I am going to bring these weekly meetings to an end sooner or later, but I can't do it so soon after her engagement announcement. It is going to leave a big gap in my life, and just having Jodie to talk to once or twice a week is going to leave me feeling very isolated, but I guess I have done it before, and I can do it again.
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