Yesterday was eventually good, but much of it was either mildly bad, or very bad. All I had done to prepare for my colonoscopy was ultimately wasted....or mostly wasted. Some good did come of it, but I did not discover that until this morning.

  It was early yesterday morning (approx 6am) when I took my second dose of super laxative. This dose was to effectively wash through the entire digestive tract. It meant no eating from 1pm the day before, and I would not be allowed to eat until the colonoscopy was over.

  I spent the entire morning dashing to the toilet where I was squirting stuff out rather than more conventional pooing. Initially it was brown and lumpy, and that changed to more like a brown soup. Eventually it was more or less clear liquid - far clearer and cleaner than typical Thames and Southern water discharge into rivers and streams these day !

  The time to walk to the hospital got closer and closer, and it seemed like all this "squitting" felt like it would never end. I was convinced I would let some go while having a shower and washing my hair. Of course in a place where it would not have really mattered* nothing actually happened !

* I would never poo while having a shower, but because what was coming out my bottom was almost clear water by then it would not really have mattered.

  For the last two hours before the colonoscopy I was not supposed to drink anything, but initially I did try a few small sips of water. They seemed to pass right through me in minutes. I stopped even the smallest sip after realising that I would never be able to walk through the park without s strong possibility of having an accident in my trousers.

  One drink I did have was a very old can of full sugar Coca Cola. It was because my blood glucose was at an all time low yesterday morning, and I was worried that if it got lower I would start to feel rough because of hypoglycaemia. I did mention yesterday that I hoped it still tasted OK after sitting in the can for maybe 10 years (possibly even more). It did not taste good, but I assumed it still had it's full load of sugar, and drunk it anyway. I think I will throw away the second can I had because it is probably the same.

  The time finally came when I had to take the walk through the park. It was very nice outside, and most comfortable wearing shorts and a t-shirt - no coat or anything else (except underpants under y shorts). I didn't want to be late, and so I found myself walking a lot faster than I needed to, or should have. During that walk I was walking fast enough to need to breath moderately deeply, but short of actual panting. I had no chest pains, and even my ankles didn't seem to complain much.

  I arrived in plenty of time for my 3:15pm appointment, and along the way I didn't seem to feel any hints that maybe a toilet would be useful. What I did feel was that my heart was working harder after that fast walk (I estimate I may have averaged as much as 4mph (my usual walking average is only about 3mph, and I only push myself to 4 or 5mph when crossing a road, as a for instance).

  After seeing the receptionist I sat in the waiting room, and about 5 minutes later I was called by James, a slightly oriental looking male nurse. He showed me to a changing and assessment room where I stripped off to put on a hospital gown, and a pair of "modesty pants". The modesty pants have a large flap at the back for easy access to the bottom. The nurse went out the room to let me get changed. He said just open the door when you are ready.

  Once I was ready he soon came along for the next fun and games. The first thing was to check my blood pressure. Unfortunately everything was stacked against me. I was still recovering from that fast walk through the park. I was in a high state of stress because I was not exactly happy to have a camera stuck up my bottom, plus I was worried I had not completely emptied my bowels, although I suspect some clear water in them my not have caused any problems with the camera, but it could have squirted out as the camera went in.

  On top of the anxiety stress and the effects of the fast walk, I am sure that the hunger I felt after not eating for about 26 hours at this time, plus my blood glucose might still have been very low. It all conspired to send my blood systolic pressure up to 202 - which is sort of dangerous. The nurse did not like it at all, and so he let me try and relax for a few minutes while he got a second blood pressure meter to see if that made any difference - it didn't.

Edit: I almost forgot to add that because of my fasting I didn't take any of my medication, and that included my blood pressure control drugs. That would have made things even worse.

  He then had a stupid idea. He would give me more time to relax while he tried to put a cannula in. His skills with a needles leave much to be desired. The first attempt was very painful as he poked around trying to find a vein on the back of my hand. When he eventually thought he had got it right he tried to flush the needle through with saline. I was very familiar with that from when during my stays in hospitals. It usually stings a bit if it works. It didn't work, and just made a bubble of saline under my skin.

  When that didn't work he tried a new needle in my elbow joint area - the favoured place by phlebotomists when taking blood samples. They can usually cause very little, almost no pain, and hit the vein dead centre on the first attempt. He didn't. Once again he was poking around trying to feel the centre of a vein, or indeed any vein. All his efforts did nothing to let me relax, and try and get my blood pressure lower. One more try and it was still too high for the procedure to take place.

  He said I would have to be discharged with reports sent to my GP and stuff. He left the room so I could get dressed back into my own clothes. Once I had done that I fished a Caramel bar out of my pocket and ate it. I had intended to eat it in the park after going home following a successful colonoscopy, but there seemed little point in waiting, and I ate it then and there. It was only small, but it felt so good to eat, and it would have boosted my blood glucose a bit.

  Apart from a worry that I would have to do this all over again, It felt good to get back outside, and in the warm sunshine, although by then the sun was getting a little bit low in the sky (although still over 3 hours before it set). Instead of enjoying the walk I tried to walk faster than ideal to get home sooner. This time my ankles started to complain, and I had to stop 2 or 3 times to let them settle down.

  Once I was indoors I had a Paninni roll with ham and cheese in it - no more low fibre diet !! I also had a bit of cake and some biscuits. It barely felt like I had eaten anything, but I did notice that soon after I started drinking some Diet Coke I felt the urge to go to the toilet to squit some more clear liquid out of my bottom. I then tried to relax a bit sitting in front of my PC. One very good thing that was not exactly relaxing, but was very welcome was a new update.

  It was a new version of the file which I had recently updated, and which had killed the GIMP (Gnu Image Manipulation Program). Once it had downloaded, and installed, which took no more than a minute or two, The GIMP started working perfectly again. That allowed me to edit a couple of pictures of interest.

  The first picture I wanted to show was that on the left. It shows the bruise (which I admit I made look darker to make it far more obvious) that is around a tiny red dot. This was where the first cannula went in, and didn't work. The bruise is where blood was leaking under the skin where the nurse had been poking around with the needle trying to find the vein (or artery) and still managed to miss it (which meant the saline flush went nowhere). Even this morning the back of my hand is still a bit tender.


  The other picture is of my blood pressure meter. This reading was taken after I had relaxed a bit and had a semi large snack (real food would be a bit later). 110/58 is possibly a little bit low, although the meter describes it as "Optimum". It is slightly lower than my average which so far this month is an average of all readings of 114/51 - so not a lot different. The one thing that is still high is my pulse rate. I admit a took a very poorly lit picture, and I had to try and make the pulse rate a bit more visible - and mostly failed, It is actually 71, and my typical average is around 65 pulse per minute.  Even if not perfect, these readings are a million tiimes (!) better than those at the endoscopy department.

   With 6pm, my typical dinner time, approaching, I set about trying to order a takeaway. My initial choice was for a pizza and a side or two. There is a Pizza place I have used a few times after getting home from Kings College hospital after my mostly short stays there. I got their web site up, and unless I am confusing it with another, the first thing it wanted was my post code. I entered that, and it said that it did deliver to my address, and it would take about 40 minutes.

  I then selected what I wanted before noticing a special discount for ordering two pizzas of the same size. I left the chicken wings and potato wedges in my order, but deleted the two pizzas before clicking on the discount for two option. I ordered a 12" American meat pizza and a 12" seafood pizza. Doing so save a few quid - not much but worth it. I then clicked on Checkout. I had logged in and they knew my details, and it should have been just a couple of clicks to make the order, but then a message popped up to say they were not doing deliveries at the moment. It gave me the chance to pre-order, but the earliest time offered was 9pm. I could not wait that long, and I deleted the order.

  My next attempt was to order some kebabs from a place I have used before, and seems quite good. Once again I found that there was a special option to order what I wanted, although not at a discount...or was it ? The thing is I wanted a lamb shish kebab and a chicken shish kebab, but the chicken shish kebab was not listed on the main menu, but was on a sub menu. I ordered one large lamb shish, and one large chicken shish, plus some hot grilled wings. There was no problem ordering that, but almost a problem getting it delivered. I think the motor cycle delivery driver must come from a country where they do not have door bells. I was in the kitchen at the time and just heard a knock at the front door, but it was not distinct. I though I had better check, and it was my kebabs.

  I only intended to eat one of the large kebabs and by pure chance I selected the most healthy - the chicken kebab - basically just charcoal grilled chicken with a whole heap of salad (and although I couldn't see it, and so added my own) some chilli sauce. It was very delicious and quite healthy - as proved this morning. I still have the lamb kebab for a meal today, and the grilled chicken wings for some sort of snack today.

  Eating and drinking seemed to have diluted, or flushed through, almost the last of the mega laxative, and after watching an assortment of the usual TV programmes I could go to bed with a modest certainty that I would not be caught short and have to race to the toilet once I relaxed and fell asleep. I did have to get up a few times for a pee, and one time I also did a small squit of liquid from my bottom. Other than that it was glorious being able to totally relax, and get some good sleep. I did however wake up earlier than expected, and it seemed I might as well get up because I seemed to have had enough sleep.

  After the usual visit to the toilet straight after getting out of bed, I weighed myself. The healthy kebab, plus yesterday's fasting meant that I was a whole kilogram lighter this morning. I guess some good did come out of my cancelled colonoscopy. My blood glucose was either good or very good. I had three very different readings, and I double checked the highest because I was not certain it was correct.

  The highest reading was 7.1mmol/l on the GlucoFix Sensor meter. That was the one I checked twice and got an identical reading. It is a very good reading though. The Nexus GlucoRX meter read 6.8mmol/l, and that is even better than very good. Finally, the Bayer Contour meter read 5.4mmol/l, and that is excellent. Curiously enough it was the same as yesterday when I got two other readings starting with a five - low but not low enough to be dangerous unless I had been intending to fast for more of the day.

  This morning, with no pressures to do anything, my blood pressure is a very typical (for me) 128/55 with a pulse rate of 64 bpm. That is very different to yesterday !

  My plans for today are very loose. Much earlier in the week I was having a fantasy about going to the seaside for a bit of walking along the beach. I considered either Southend or Hastings as possibilities, and already knew a few walks in those places, but I am no sure today is a good day for it. I am still getting some aftershocks from that mega strong laxative/bowel cleanser, and it would probably be unwise to be a long way from a toilet yet.

  What I will do today is have a shower, and go shopping in Tesco. I need/feel the urge to buy some high fibre foods as well as more low fibre foods like ice cream. Some roasting vegetables and meat to go with them would be nice. I also want soe fresh, probably ready prepared salad, to go in some home made sandwiches. On this shopping trip my only guide will (hopefully) be common sense (but unlikely). Before I have my shower there is the matter of a bucket of laundry that has been soaking in detergent over night. It is only a couple of t-shirts and some underpants, and should not be too taxing.