I could swear there was bright blue sky a couple of hours ago, but now reality has caught up with the forecast. It is lightly overcast, but there are often gaps in the cloud, and that leaves a bit of wiggle room for the sun to put in an occasional brief appearance. I've just checked the latest revision, and now it seems 1 and 2pm, and then 7 and 8pm could feature pure sunshine. In between there may be an occasional sunny spells. It could be quite warm today with the temperature reaching 24° C. Tomorrow maybe very dull, but it could still be quite warm at 22° C.

  Yesterday was not a good day. I allowed myself to relax too much during the morning. I had too many doubts about whether I was up to going for a walk. After laying on my bed reading for 20 minutes my eyes seemed to want to close, and I thought I was going to have a snooze. I think I probably did doze off for a while, but I remember just laying on my bed, with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds outside through the open window. In a way that was nice, but it was also too much of an opportunity to let negative thoughts to cloud my mind.

  I wondered what I was hoping to achieve by all my long walks, and trying to watch my diet. It was once inspired by Angela, but she is no inspiration at all now...except maybe she still is. I felt particularly gloomy when I spotted a picture she posted on a certain social media web site. It was a very poor picture she posted with a caption that was something like "Wales - I hope to be there again soon". She didn't say it, but it was tied in with lover boy and his folks back in Wales. They have stayed there a few times, although one of the first times they had a row, and didn't speak to each other during the long drive back to London.

  On the other hand, Angela did suddenly "Like" some stuff I posted on the same web site (pictures and video I have shown here first). That brought a little tiny bit of joy, but still didn't satisfy the basic question of why am I doing what I am doing ? With hindsight I think I was still tired after my walk the previous day. It may not have been my longest walk, but it was a walk that featured walking up a lot more hills than usual.

  The fact that I was tired was sort of confirmed around midday when I forced myself to do something useful. The first thing I did was some housework to clean up the kitchen. I started by taking out the recycling stuff, and the smelly waste to the appropriate wheelie bins. I then did the small amount of washing up left in the sink before tackling the microwave oven. The previous day I had been cooking some frozen peas in it, and I think I over filled the little plastic saucepan I was using. The peas must have boiled explosively, and squirted out the side of the pan. It meant that the microwave needed a really good scrub inside.

  I then attempted to do some gardening. Mostly it was weeding, but I didn't have the patience, and stamina to bend over for long when pulling out weeds. It was far from hard work in reality, but it soon tired me. I did manage to make a useful difference, but I could not face doing the one other thing I wanted to do - cutting the grass. The last thing I did was to get the hose out, and water the garden. I then returned to my bedroom to relax.

  After that work I felt sort of ill. I can't describe quite how I felt ill. It was just a sort of collection of aches all over the place. It included something like stomach ache, but not any of the common forms of stomach ache. Maybe it was from bending over, and creasing my stomach. It may have been the trigger to seek out any small ache I could find anywhere on or in my body. It was quite a collection, and it seemed obvious I was probably about to die...but not until I had eaten some dinner.

  My dinner was the same as the previous day - grilled salmon with peas (except this time I cooked the peas in a bigger container !). I did my best during the day to be careful about what I ate, and this morning it seems I did well - which is pretty weird when I was doubting that I had any reason to do it in the first place. What I kept wanting was some booze, but for some reason I haven't had any booze since I invited Michael and Jodie around a week ago. I think one thing is playing on my mind a lot recently, and that is the upcoming difficulty in replacing anything I eat or drink from Friday when masks become compulsory in shops, and I do not want to wear a mask.

  Another strange thing is how well I slept last night after having a mostly very lazy day, and which featured an hour, or maybe two of snoozing. I can't even remember getting up for a pee more than twice in the night. One such time was about 5.30am, and at that time I might have stayed up, but after a wee I went back to bed and slept for (I think) another 2 hours. It was another indicator that I really must have been tired yesterday.

  This morning things were looking good. My weight seemed satisfactory, and my blood glucose was low enough to bring my average down to closer to my "usual" average after quite a few days of it being high. This morning it was 7.1mmol/l. As usual I would prefer it to be under 7 because that gives more leeway for occasional excesses. Perhaps the biggest test was going shopping in Tesco earlier. One bit of my right foot is still a bit tender, and initially my legs felt a bit stiff, but on the whole that short walk felt fine.

  This morning should be my last visit to Tesco for many weeks if things go to plan. I will have to modify my diet in future based upon what food is available to me. I think I mentioned that I am hoping to still be able to buy from out door market stalls without a mask. This morning I mainly concentrated on two things. Bottles of Diet Coke, and ice cream. I now have 28 litres of Diet Coke in my kitchen, and that should last a while before I have to drink beer, water or squash. Before I went out I sorted out my freezer, and by taking things like ice cubes, and freezer blocks (for cool bags) out I made enough space to store 5 tubs of low calorie/sugar ice cream in there. In theory I will only be rewarding myself a tub after a 5 mile, or more, walk in hot sunshine....we'll see !

  Today I think I can force myself to go out for a walk. Last night I contrived to have an excuse for not doing the garden for a while. I ordered a small strimmer to cut the grass. It is only a small patch of grass, and does not justify a more conventional means of cutting it. It could arrive as early as the weekend, and there is no point breaking my back doing it by hand now. As for my walk....I think I might pay a longer visit to Brookmill Park. I walked through it when I did my 5 mile walk to Greenwich along the Waterlink Way (and had to get a bus back). I think if I take a few short cuts I can cut the round trip down to 5 miles, but if it is 6 I will be quite happy (although probably in pain !)