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Thursday 20th
February 2020
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09:04 GMT
A pattern emerges....Like the day before,
yesterday started bright, but it didn't last. It
wasn't long before the clouds gathered, and it
started raining - earlier than forecast if I
recall correctly. The rain was supposed to stop
after sunset, but I have no idea if it did or
didn't. It was a rather cool day. The afternoon
started at just 8° C, but finished at 9° C.
The ground was certainly very wet at first
light, but there was a period of brightness,
although not full sunshine, this morning.
According to the latest revision to the forecast
it should be drizzling right now, and maybe it is,
but it is too fine to be seen from indoors. Once
good thing is that the strong winds (shown as
white numbers on black circles in the screenshot
above) will only blow for two hours instead of
three. Just for a change, the morning will be less
cool than the afternoon. This morning may be 10 or
11° C, but by sunset the temperature may fall to
7° C, and keep falling after that. One of the
features of the headline is hail showers. Each
revision of the forecast over the last 36 hours
has insisted hail will fall at 6pm, and at no
other time. I think the headline is more worthy of
a red top newspaper, and not of a serious
forecast. Hail or not, it seems most of the
afternoon is going to be wet ! y contrast,
tomorrow may feature a sunny morning, and be
almost warm (but not actually warm).
I had hoped that I might be able to get
some shopping done, and still have time for a walk
in the park, and to meet Angela at
lunchtime (if she was available). That didn't
happen - mostly because of the time it took to
write this diary. I have some ideas about that
I'll include at the end. I had also hoped that, if
nothing else, I could get to Aldi and back before
the rain started - no such luck ! It wasn't heavy
rain, but it was the sort of rain that can get you
very wet during the five minute walk to Aldi.
It was slightly less than 6° C, according
to my thermometers, when I set out. That seemed
cool enough to wear my winter coat. The rain was
good reason to also use the hood for the first
time. Had the temperature been lower still, and if
it had been snowing, that coat would have been
excellent. It certainly kept me very dry on the
way to Aldi, but even 5 minutes of fast walking
meant I was feeling a little too warm when I got
there. I didn't bother to do it up as I back home
again, although I did use the hood to keep my head
dry.
There were a few things I specifically
wanted from Aldi. I had this idea that beansprouts
cooked in beef stock with beef jerky might make a
low everything meal. I was so convinced by this
that I allowed myself to buy a bag of 6 Braeburn
apples. I have to be careful with fruit because
some can contain quite high levels of sugar, but
green apples aren't too bad, and Braeburn apples
are half green. I did allow myself to buy one
other luxury, or maybe not "luxury" item, but....
If these boots turn out to be
comfortable then they are not a luxury item. My
favourite walking boots only became my favourite
when I discovered that if I wore thin socks,
instead of chunky "walking socks" they were very
comfortable, and even a 4 mile walk didn't knacker
my feet. Sadly they are coming to the end of their
life, and probably by summer, when I hope to be
doing lots of longer distance walks, I will need a
new pair. I have a couple of pairs already, but
they never did feel comfortable in the past, and I
have doubts they would even with thin socks. In
fact I know one pair is uncomfortable even with
thin socks. I am hoping that these new boots,
maybe once run in, will turn out to be
comfortable.
I think it was gone 12.30 when I got home
from Aldi, and I could never get to the pub in
time to meet Angela unless I just dropped my
shopping on the floor, and went straight out the
front door again. Actually that is not quite true
- I can make the pub in 20 minutes or even less if
I really rush, but I was not in the mood to rush
after lugging heavy shopping home in a coat that
was overheating me. I sorted out my shopping, had
a 20 minute rest, and then went out again to
Poundland.
Once again I had some very specific things
in mind when I went there - and for once that was
all I bought. These wooden trays (top and
side views above) are, according to what is
written on the side, intended for herbs, but my
intention is to use them as window boxes outside
my front room. I bought these three boxes, and a
bag of compost. Later on in the day I filled them
with compost, and planted some seeds in them. I
have decided to keep them indoors, in the warm,
until those seeds start sprouting. Then I will
take them out into the wild outside weather. The
boxes are made from cheap plywood held together by
staples. I doubt they will last until the end of
the summer, but we'll see. If they do then I may
paint them once the flowers have finished, and
that may help them last for next year....but I
have my doubts.
Sometimes I think my brain knows more about
what I should eat than I do ! My lunch was as
described earlier - bean sprouts and beef jerky
cooked in beef stock (Oxo cubes) for 10 minutes.
It was nice, not as magical as I hoped, but worth
repeating some day. I think I followed it with an
apple. The apple sort of surprised me. It was both
sweet and not sweet. I can't really explain that
contradiction. Maybe it was because I haven't had
any sweet stuff for so long that it seemed sweet,
and yet at the same time it was also quite tart.
My dinner was a more "luxury" version of
lunch. Once again it was a lot of beansprouts, but
this time cooked in chicken stock with some
chicken thighs I had very generously seasoned, and
grilled earlier in the day. I also added a small
sliced onion, and some mange tout. The final
flourish was a small spoonful of Marmite flavoured
peanut butter. It was a nice meal, and much later
on, to my great surprise it turned out to be
healthier than I had imagined.
A little later in the evening I snacked on
another apple, and some sugar free vanilla wafers.
I ate those while watching TV - which was not
really catching my full attention. Another
distraction from the TV I was watching, was to
have a look at a famous social media web site. I
found a picture that was probably only to be
expected, but deeply depressed me. It was Angela
and lover boy exchanging a kiss on Valentines day.
I went to bed wondering why I bother doing
so many things. Why am I spending all this time
trying to do gardening? Why do I bother walking
through the rain to meet Angela? Why do I even
bother doing all the walking I do, and try to look
after my health ? I lay in bed feeling really
desolate, but eventually sleep came, and with it
some dreams that initially reflected that
desolation. The first dream really reflected it. I
was walking away from some friends who I thought I
liked, and deciding to cut myself off from
everyone I knew, and just seek solitude.
Later dreams were less severe, and left no
bad memories. My last dreams seems sort of normal
- except that in the last I was smoking Benson
& Hedges again. Oddly enough, I did seem to
sleep quite well last night. Maybe it was because
one of the last things I did before going to bed
was to sit on the toilet - twice - and on both
occasion had a small but violent bowel explosion.
Quite how that may have helped when I have been
unaware of any such need during nights when I have
slept badly, is an unknown quantity.
Maybe that unpleasantness on the toilet
last night did have a positive effect, or maybe it
was just what I ate yesterday (although the two
could be deeply related), but this morning my
weight has most definitely dropped - although it
was much lower still for a few days last December,
and it is still not as low as when I was
"officially" weighed in the hospital last time -
but it is now getting very close !!! Another
surprise was that my blood glucose level was under
7 this morning - albeit only just. It was
6.9mmol/l, and that is good news !
To say I don't usually have breakfast is
untrue because I often have at least some sort of
nibble in the morning. This morning I had
something a bit more formal. I have to make sure I
use those apples up before they start to decay,
and so I invented this very healthy (possibly)
looking breakfast. Even vegans could probably eat
raw apple and some assorted nuts. Tomorrow morning
I will find it it has had a positive or negative
effect on me. There is a theory that having some
sort of breakfast will reduce snacking later in
the day, but something with a load of slow release
carbohydrates, like porridge, is the recommended
way of doing it, but I prefer to consume as few
carbohydrates as I can for now.
Today I have one definite plan, and one
possible plan. The possible is to go for a short
walk in the park to test my new boots. It is
possible that if they do turn out to be
comfortable it might be a longer walk. The
definite plan is to go for my regular Thursday
drink. There could be a small possibility of going
out again after that. There are potentially two
open mic sessions I could go to tonight, but it is
hard going out again after coming home with a
belly full of beer, and feeling warm and
comfortable. It might be a more likely possibility
when it is still light at around 8pm.
I have been thinking - which always hurts
my brain ! Since retiring from work, and writing
these diaries at home, I have allowed myself to
write as much as I want, for as long as I want. I
am now thinking along the lines of writing up the
day at the end of the day, instead of the
following morning. Not writing in the morning
would mean I could get out a lot earlier, and this
will be more important on days when I hope to be
travelling further afield for coastal, or country
walks. Maybe I will start this tomorrow, but of I
do I may write a reminder in the morning.
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